AITA for not telling my family I bought another car! They are feeling I am untrustworthy ?

A woman bought her first car three years ago but it was totaled in a crash. After the accident, her family, particularly her mom and sister, gossiped about the incident and did not offer support.

Feeling hurt and unsupported, she stopped sharing personal matters with them, including her second car purchase, which she kept private for almost two years.

When her family found out, they felt betrayed and untrustworthy for not being told. The woman doesn’t understand why it matters, as the car is her personal property and has no impact on their lives. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not telling my family I bought another car! They are feeling I am untrustworthy ?’

Three years ago I bought my first car with my own money saved. I loved and cherished this car but one day taking my mom home from work, I got in a car crash. A car was speeding and crashed into my driver side door. It was so bad the car was totaled.

My mom and I went to the hospital, we were both fine.While in the hospital, I called my sister to pick us up and she NEVER came. She said that she didn’t want to lose her parking spot so me and my mom Ubered to our home.

Instead of calling me the next few days to check in and helping me get a new car – both my mom and sister called all my family to let them know I totaled my car! I was so upset they were gossiping about me so anytime they brought up my car,

I told them I don’t want to talk about it. My whole family told me I bought my car too soon and were worried any time I drove. What really upset me was that they NEVER encouraged me and helped me with ANYTHING concerning the car.

My sister even mentioned that it was karma, I’m like wtf what karma?! I’m a good person and even helped her many times. After this situation, I stopped trusting my family with certain matters and stopped sharing aspects of my life.

Idk the whole situation was weird and when I needed them the most I felt like they were not there. Fast forward, I bought my second car and never told them. I currently live in another state so there is no way for them to know.

I’ve had this car for almost two years and never said anything to them. Well, I told a family member I had a car and told them not to say anything but of course they told my mom and sister.

I feel like this is such a stupid situation but my mother and sister feel like it’s weird I never said anything especially because I talk to them frequently, so they feel like I’m untrustworthy for “lying” about it for years.

I technically didn’t lie I just never said I was driving and left them to assume I didn’t have a car. They are both very upset and feel like it was strange of me to do.

To me, I don’t get why it matters? Me having a car has no impact on their lives. It’s my car, not there’s so it shouldn’t concern them – this is a very dumb thing to be upset about tbh.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Repulsive-Plane9429 −  Info: Was the car crash your fault? Have the ever mentioned you are not a safe driver before this happened? Why wouldn’t they share to family their was a car crash and needed a hospital visit?

_s1m0n_s3z −  Now you know who to not trust with your secrets. NTA. Car ownership is ordinary in these United States. In many places it is nearly impossible to get along without one.

buffythebudslayer −  NTA. The fact of the matter is it’s none of their business. They kicked you when you were down, why would you share success with them?

DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA −  NTA. People get into accidents all around the world and some are unavoidable (while others are avoidable, i.e drunk driving, texting while driving, etc). That said, your family using this accident as a source of gossip is horrible;

especially when you mention you wasn’t at fault. OP, you got a car with your own money. Just because you got into an accident doesn’t mean you’re a danger on the road

honorthecrones −  You are in a no win situation here. You could have told them and been ridiculed or not tell them and get what you are getting now. They need to ridicule you so they feel superior.

It doesn’t matter what you do, they will paint it so you look bad and they look better by comparison. Quit chasing their approval. Enjoy your car and your life.

Cute-funnyy −  NTA. It sounds like your decision to keep your new car private came from a place of protecting your peace after how your family handled the first situation.

When you needed support after the accident, they gossiped about you and didn’t offer the help or encouragement you deserved. That’s a valid reason to feel hesitant about sharing personal milestones with them.

mumtaz2004 −  Your sister couldn’t pick you and mom up at the hospital bc she didn’t want to lose her PARKING SPOT? If anyone here is an AH, it’s her. Not sure why anyone else in the family cares about whether or not you own a car and drive. They didn’t finance it and it’s really none of their business. NTA.

sober_witness −  You’re a grown-up. You’ve got your own money, you make your own choices. Sounds like your family needs to come to terms with that reality.. NTA

Whole-Razzmatazz4635 −  You’re untrustworthy because you made an adult decision that didn’t affect them and didn’t tell them? That makes you a private person. Nothing wrong with that. You could just say you didn’t tell them because you didn’t think it mattered.

Or you could say, you didn’t tell them because of the grief they gave you over the car accident that wasn’t even your fault. I didn’t want to hear your opinion.

GingerWhoDrinksTea −  NTA You’re an adult with your own money & capable of making your own decisions. As for your family’s thoughts on owning a car, if you live in a very car-dependent country (like the US), how do they expect you to live your daily life?

Was the woman wrong for not sharing her car purchase, or is her family overreacting? What do you think? Share your thoughts below!