I Reported My Mom for Food Stamp Fraud to Protect My Family—Am I the Villain?

A 26-year-old caregiver for their 15-year-old brother reported their mother for food stamp fraud after years of neglect and financial manipulation. Despite the mother claiming the brother as a dependent, she sold the family’s food stamps for personal gain, leaving the caregiver to struggle with providing for their own family and sibling.

After confronting her and being dismissed, the caregiver called the authorities, knowing this could result in jail time for their mother. Now, they wrestle with guilt and fear of retaliation, questioning if they were wrong to take such drastic action. read the original story below…

‘I Reported My Mom for Food Stamp Fraud to Protect My Family—Am I the Villain?’

I’m 26, and for the past 10 years, I’ve been the primary caregiver for my 15-year-old brother. I handle everything for him—his school, doctor appointments, dentist visits, therapy sessions—because my mom, who is a drug addict and has a history of narcissism and borderline personality disorder, doesn’t interact with him at all.

Despite this, she still claims him as a dependent on her taxes and food stamps. She’s always promised to help us financially, but her idea of “help” is giving me whatever amount she thinks is fair, which is usually barely anything.

This month, I was relying on those food stamps to help feed my brother, my husband, our two daughters (7 and 5), and myself, especially with Christmas around the corner. Instead, my mom sold all the food stamps to buy “presents” for herself.

When I confronted her, she called me greedy and told me to get lost. That was the breaking point for me. I couldn’t just sit back and let her actions hurt us anymore, so I made the difficult decision to call FSSA (Family and Social Services Administration) to report her for fraud. They told me she could face jail time, and now I’m feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

On one hand, I know I did the right thing because my mom’s actions were unfair and illegal. But on the other hand, I’m scared of what might happen next. What if she retaliates? What if she tries to take my brother back?

I don’t have legal custody of him, and the thought of putting him through even more turmoil is eating me up inside. I didn’t want things to come to this, but I felt like I had no choice. Am I the asshole for reporting my mom, even if it means she could face jail time?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Forward-Dingo1431 −  How have you had him since you were 16? If you don’t have legal custody, how do you take care of all his school, doctor, and other matters? Why didn’t you go to court and get legal custody of him when you became an adult?

Why would you allow your mother to claim him as a dependent on her taxes or otherwise? You say your family is struggling to eat and yet you allow this. I’m confused

mushrooms_moons −  NTA You did the right thing, and probably should have done it sooner. I highly recommend looking into getting guardianship of your brother, ASAP.. You should have plenty to back your case, if he’s been in your care for a decade.

Safe_Draft_1330 −  Get custody. Get legal advice and get it sorted now. NTA forget your mum. Brother and family are all that matters.

duchess_of_fire −  NTA she’s abusing the system and ruining it for everyone else. she’s exactly the kind of person that causes people to want to cut funding for programs. she’s not a good person and should have consequences for what she has done.

all that being said, if you were relying on that money for food, check with local food banks. many are overflowing this time of year because of charity drives many businesses do.they are there for people in need and you’re in need.

moew4974 −  ESH. Quite naturally, your mother for failing to parent your brother and not giving him a stable home life or upbringing. For selling the one asset that was supposed to be for him. For pushing her responsibilities to raise him onto you. For being irresponsible with her life and his.

I can’t imagine that she gave you a great upbringing either. Now, I don’t want to–but I have to say that YTA as well, but to a lesser degree. Since you’re of age now, why haven’t you contacted CPS and had your brother taken out of her custody and reported her n**lect?

They would have immediately sought a kinship placement for him and it’s likely that they would have looked to you first. But furthermore…those food stamps are supposed to help feed the household they are established for.

I get that times are tough and you definitely deserve assistance for taking care of your brother for all this time, but establishing a dependence on the assistance not earmarked for your household was extremely unwise.

The truth is, your mother giving you the food stamps she was entitled to can be viewed as fraud, as well. If your household is struggling with food insecurity, then go seek assistance based on your family size and circumstances. Check with food pantries in your area to help stock up on staples and basics.

Make sure that you’re not purchasing convenience foods and keep a supply of beans, rice, flour, etc. in your pantry. And honestly? Your mother deserves any punishment she receives. She’s acted terribly.

Mrs_Gracie2001 −  IDK, but maybe it will get her some help and save her life. If you are supporting these kids, YOU need to apply for the assistance. If they get it through you, she won’t be able to claim them

Mathalamus2 −  you did the right thing. NTA.

November-8485 −  I mean, you did the right thing for the wrong reason. Because you were angry. Honestly just be careful because it sounds like you’re in a difficult position and so is your brother & family.. NTA.

purplecandylollipop2 −  NTA. i do suggest getting guardian ship over your brother very soon. you did the right thing and you should feel good about what you did in your heart. sometimes we feel guilty because we have a version of ppl we know and care abt but we have to realize they aren’t that version and you would have reported anyone else you saw doing this to their family.

Loud_Apartment_2467 −  I don’t know what state you are in , but you can apply for Specified Relative for him while he is in your care . He would be able to have funds go to you to help purchase things he needs .

A young adult sitting at a table, looking worried and conflicted, holding a phone. In the background, a teenager and two children sit together, emphasizing the weight of responsibility. The scene conveys tension and inner turmoil.