AITA for giving my niece a piece of nicorette?

A person (28F) gave their 19-year-old niece (Hannah) a piece of nicotine gum after their soon-to-be mother-in-law, Cathy, insisted. Hannah, who had never smoked or vaped, became extremely sick from the nicotine and threw up.

The person explained that Cathy interrupted them while they were trying to explain the risks, but now their family is upset with them, calling them a bad influence. The person is now questioning if they are in the wrong. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for giving my niece a piece of nicorette?’

Hi Reddit, I need help figuring out if this was just a miscommunication or if I’m in the wrong. Over thanksgiving I was visiting my fiance’s family. We had a great meal, and afterwards I was really wanting a cigarette, but I’m trying to quit so I pulled out a piece of nicorette to kill the craving.

My soon-to-be niece (19) Hannah saw me chewing and asked if she could have a piece, and I said no because it was nicotine gum. She got an attitude and went to her mom Cathy and said I wasn’t giving her any gum. Cathy told me to giver her some gum,

and when I was trying to explain why I didn’t she interrupted me and said it’s fine, just give her a piece. I figured Hannah used nicotine too and I gave her some. Cut to 30 minutes later, Hannah is on the couch turning absolutely green.

She’s complaining about being dizzy and eventually runs to the bathroom to throw up. Everyone feels sorry for her and assumes she ate too much, so she spends the rest of the evening on the couch while we play games and hang out until it’s time to go.

On the drive home my fiance said it really sucks that Hannah got sick, and I brought up that it seemed like she got nic sick from the nicorette I gave her. My fiance looked at me and asked why I gave her a piece and I said because Cathy said it’s OK and I assumed Hannah smoked or vaped or something.

Apparently Hannah has never has as much as one drag from a cigarette, so the 12mg she got from the gum rocked her world. My fiance called Cathy to tell her what happened and now her whole family is saying I’m an a**hole, I’m a bad influence, and calling me all kinds of bad names.

I tried to defend myself by saying I told Hannah it was nicotine gum and that Cathy interrupted me when I tried to tell her, but everyone is still saying it was my fault for giving it to her.

I think Hannah lied to her mom to get me to give her some gum so she would seem cool or because she wanted to try it, and she’s definitely old enough to know better but everyone thinks I’m in the wrong. So reddit, am I the a**hole?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Suspicious-Cat-8699 −  NTA. You didn’t want to give it to her. You only gave it to her because she pressured you, and her mom went along. She’s 19, not a little girl. She’s old enough to understand what a nicotine gum is. Her mom should actually thank you. After this experience, her daughter is unlikely to try nicotine/cigarettes anytime soon.

Chefmom61 −  What 19 year old runs to their Mom?

SharpenedGourd −  ESH. Hannah sucks for obvious reasons, she is too old to be a whiny kid asking mommy to help her force someone to give her what she wants. Also, let’s be 100% real here. You knew Hannah’s mom didn’t know it was nicotine gum while asking.

You chose to not tell her after she interrupted you because what? Petty revenge? What you did was beg for conflict. About 99% of mothers would not be too happy and eager to get some random family members to give their teen a nicotine gum. That’s the baseline assumption.

I cannot fathom why you did not in this aftermath situation grow a pair and immediately say that Hannah knew it was nicotine gum and kept pestering for it anyway, you could not know that she would react that way after insisting so hard, so it is not your fault. Any continued insinuating of something else is ridiculous, meanspirited and delusional.

Sweet_Cinnabonn −  NTA. She’s a legal adult. She wanted it. She ran and got her mommy, who told you to give it to her. You are not responsible for the outcome.

Emergency-Fan-6623 −  ESH, stand firm in your convictions. You said no, mean it. Unless you’re also a teenager, you should know better. Cathy sounds like a piece of work, but she didn’t force you to give it to her.

Kudos to your fiance for letting the mom know what was going on with her child (something you should have done tbh). It sounds like to me that since Cathy was being a d**k, you had the air of “okay, fine, I’ll give it to her” knowing it could turn sour, but not minding ‘teaching a lesson’ to them both.

I understand the petty, and it could just be a bad read on my end, but if it IS the case, you’re definitely the bigger a**hole.

ExistenceRaisin −  NTA. She asked for it, you said no and you told her why. She insisted and ran to her mom who told you to give it to her. It’s not your fault she got sick because she refused to listen to you.

GirlDad2023_ −  I think just about every human over the age of 15 knows what Nicorette is and you were told to give her a piece, so you did. But you’re definitely NTA here. Hannah had a learning moment there.

ExSeaDog −  ESH. YTA for giving medicine to someone who clearly didn’t know what she was getting. She wanted “gum,” what you gave her was nicotine replacement therapy. I used Nicorette trying to quit, and the instructions say NOT to chew it like bubble gum,

but to chew it until you feel a tingle then to rest the gum in your mouth a minute or more. You should have stood your ground or been more direct in explaining what you had. Hannah sucks – a 19 y/o acting like she’s 9 whining to mom because you won’t “share.” And Cathy sucks for enabling Hannah’s childish behavior.

verminiusrex −  ESH. Them for being so insistent on taking something you didn’t want to offer. You for not making it very clear that it was nicotine gum. I don’t care how much they interrupt you, if your are old enough to get married you are old enough to shove a package in their face that says nicotine gum. Their stupidity doesn’t excuse your complicity.

ivylass −  Why didn’t you use your words when Cathy interrupted you? If a six year old came up and wanted some of your drink and whined to Mom that you wouldn’t let her, wouldn’t you have made sure Mom understood you were drinking rum and Coke? ESH. Hannah for whining, you for not being more assertive about why you were denying her the gum.

The situation involves miscommunication and assumptions, but the family is placing the blame on the person for giving the gum. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!