AITAH for moving across Canada without telling my parents after they missed my High School Graduation?

A Redditor shared her emotional story about moving across Canada without informing her parents after they repeatedly prioritized her younger brother’s events over her own milestones. The breaking point came when they missed her high school graduation for a championship game, leaving her feeling neglected. Read the full story below to see how she took control of her life.

‘ AITAH for moving across Canada without telling my parents after they missed my High School Graduation?’

The article has the next update at the end.

I’d like to preface this by saying that I’m 19, although fresh out of High School I missed a year due to medical issues. I (19f) recently graduated High School, and my parents missed the ceremony in favour of my little brother’s, James (12m), championship game.

Their defence was that he had tried so hard to make the team and it wouldn’t be fair to him if they weren’t there to help support. They told me that since I’d already graduated I didn’t have to worry about losing my diploma the way my brother could loose the game (spoiler, he was benched the whole game and his team lost 4-2).

My parents have always missed my milestones in place of my brother’s less significant achievements. For example, they missed my sweet sixteen party in place of his end of year concert. Besides the fact that my parents forget I exist 99% of the time, and I’ve been working a job and saving since I was 13. I also have an older sister, Emma (21f), who left the second she graduated because our parents neglected her.

Me and my boyfriend, Mike (20m), had both mad it into a great school in British Columbia (BC), I live in Quebec. The plan was to move there together sometime in August, but when my parents just didn’t show up to my grad, I went to his house and we left a week later. They were used to me being gone for extended periods of time, but when I didn’t even send them and angry text after they were a grad no-show they called.

I answered, and informed them I was in BC, and would no longer require their non existent parenting. Since then I’ve been bombarded by family on both sides, and I’ve been ignoring all of them. Until I got one from my mom apologising and asking to meet up on zoom or facetime. Mike says it won’t be different from the other times, but what if it is?

Most of my family has been attacking me using some not so socially acceptable words, which makes me wonder, Am I the A**hole (AITA)?

Update here: https://aita.pics/YtGRw

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

vandr611 −  See, the thing that your family doesn’t seem to get is that if parents aren’t REALLY bad at parenting, their kids don’t flee at the earliest opportunity. It isn’t even the first time it happened with your crappy parents.. NTA.

ProfPlumDidIt −  but what if it is?. It won’t be. Proof of that is the obvious fact that your parents immediately spread their version of events to everyone in the family , getting them to all gang up against you, and, since no one has contacted you apologizing, it’s clear they still haven’t admitted the real truth to anyone. That means they care more about looking like innocent victims to others than about your feelings or trying to right their wrongs.

Personally, I’d send your mom a letter telling her that she failed as a mother to both you and your sister and that nothing she could say would be worth hearing. She had 19 years worth of chances, and she blew every one of them and you don’t need someone like that in your life. Send it and then block everyone in the family who gives you any s**t.

Esuriopiscus −  NTA the family members berating you are probably the same ones who didn’t seem to notice you were being neglected.

ZippyDoop −  NTA. Habits don’t change until they have to. One daughter had bailed on them for their stupidity, now two. Your mother knew what they did wrong and it wasn’t until she saw you weren’t caving that she apologized. The apology should have been first and the one she offered seems disingenuous.

Wrong_Moose_9763 −  Do the ‘family’ that are attacking you have the full story, or do they only know what your parents are telling them? I’d tell them they missed your graduation to go to your brothers game and that he didn’t even play in it. TELL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. Send a response to every text that you have received. Stop letting them control the narrative, NTA.

OkExternal7904 −  I’m guessing that at some point in time, the Golden Child brother will show up on your doorstep with no job, no education, no money, no where to go, and no redeeming qualities.

It never works out well for the Golden Child when they’re no longer a child. I kinda feel sorry for him because it’s not his fault. It’s entirely your parent’s fault, and they’re the AHs along with the (typical to Reddit stories) horrible extended family members who know too little and say too much. NTA, have a nice life! You’re just getting started, and you can do anything you want with great success.

Vegoia2 −  you escaped like your older sis, enjoy the freedom from the leeches.

Peaceout3613 −  NTA I’d block anyone who is giving your grief. You don’t need people like that in your life.

SomeWomanfromCanada −  NTA et Welcome to BC… I hope you have a good life here!. Updateme.

TypicalManagement680 −  They haven’t changed, if they had, you wouldn’t be dealing their flying monkeys attacking you. Your parents haven’t told anyone the TRUTH of who they are and have been to you and your sister as parents. Let them know you know they haven’t changed because of what you have been dealing from “family”. NTA.