AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband because he converted to Christianity?

A Reddit user is struggling with the changes in her marriage after her husband converted to Christianity. While they initially agreed to respect each other’s differing beliefs, his newfound fervor for his faith has led to him trying to push his religious views on her.

She feels increasingly uncomfortable with his attempts to convert her and his insistence on raising future children in the church, which has caused tension and arguments between them. Despite trying to communicate her feelings, she now feels like they are on different paths and is considering divorce, though she feels guilty about the decision. To read the full story, check out the original post below…

‘ AITAH for wanting to divorce my husband because he converted to Christianity?’

My (37F) husband (39M) and I have been married for 8 years. We’ve always had a pretty good relationship, but we come from different religious backgrounds. I was raised in a secular household, while he comes from a Christian family. We agreed early in our relationship that spirituality was something we could discuss openly without it impacting our relationship. I respected his beliefs, and he respected my lack thereof, and we built a life together based on love, honesty, and mutual support.

Recently, however, he began attending church with a couple of his friends, and I didn’t think much of it at first; it seemed like a phase. But then he started changing. He became more fervent in his beliefs, and I’ve noticed he’s started pushing those ideas onto me. He constantly talks about his “faith journey” and tries to engage me in discussions about the Bible and prayer, which I find uncomfortable.

I’ve tried to support him while maintaining my own views, but the more he dives into this, the more it feels like he’s trying to convert me. He even suggested that we should raise future children in the church, which I vehemently opposed. I feel like a stranger in my own home, and our discussions often end in arguments. It’s creating a rift between us that I’m not sure can be repaired.

I spoke to him about how I felt. I told him that while I respect his beliefs, I can’t be part of a life that revolves around religion, especially one I don’t believe in. His response was that he feels called to share the love of Christ with me, and he can’t understand why I wouldn’t want to explore this with him. This conversation ended up with both of us hurt and frustrated.

Now, I’m at a point where I’m seriously considering divorce. I feel like I’m losing the person I married, and I’m scared of where this is heading. It feels like we’re on two different paths, and the more he immerses himself in Christianity, the more I feel I’ll have to suppress who I am and what I believe.

I know divorce is a big step, and I don’t want to be hasty, but I’m also trying to look out for my own well-being. A part of me feels guilty for wanting to end it over his faith, but I can’t shake the feeling that this is driving a wedge between us that might be impossible to fix.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Fun_Scene_3392 −  Sometimes 2 people find out late in the relationship that they’re simply not compatible any longer. And that’s okay.

unownpisstaker −  NTA. He is refusing to accept your freely made choice. That is unchristian. The Bible actually says for the Christian spouse to live their life in front of their non-Christian spouse as an example, not proselytize them to d**th.

GoalGuilty7549 −  NTA- but relationship definitely in trouble. If he was this religious in this way, would you have dated him, much less married him? It sounds like you have given him room. To grow and explore and exist, and he is not providing you the same. I would ask him point-blank how his Christ feels about the meaning of marriage vows.

And i would ask him point-blank if you had had this sort of “calling” with any other religion and werw behaving this way towards him…. How would that be feeling to him right now to be  subject to the exact behavior? If that gets you nowhere… yes, leave. This is not the person you married or the type of. Relationship you agreed to be in. 

WasteLeave900 −  You can leave a relationship for whatever reason you want, religion is a deal breaker for me and I won’t date anyone religious. If my partner decided he was religious I would leave him (I know this will anger the religious folks but I choose not to support any religion and don’t want to be around it).

Edited to add – the fact he’s suddenly seemingly this devout, please be careful when divorcing him. Him and his views won’t take kindly to this and is usually a common theme in spouses being hurt.

CourageClear4948 −  Here’s the thing OP, you’re husband has already chosen his religion over you. He’s proving it by going against the boundaries you set early on in the relationship, which was not to push your beliefs onto each other.

If the OP is living in the states, there has been a huge Christian fundamentalist push which has lifted all boats so to speak. Regardless of the sect, they see themselves not only as the one true religion but as a unified voting block that was successful in getting conservatives voted not only into office but place on the supreme court.

Heavy pressure and lots of brain washing is taking place in the Christian community to get all the spouses and children on board because for wives it’s more votes for the cause and for men it’s getting to be head of the household and making women subservient again. OP might not see her husband as being like this but he is or he wouldn’t be doing and saying the things he is right now.

I know the OP probably doesn’t see the enormity of what going because she’s focused on the trees instead of the entire forest. OP is NTA but I have two pieces of advice for the OP:
1. Protect your birth control. Get the shot or an implant because the easiest way for him to keep you in place IN HIS MIND is to get started on that family all his new Christian friends of encouraging him to move towards.

2. Get the hell away from this hot mess before you end up accidentally making kids with him. Because if you do, ending a pregnancy is harder than ever before in the US because conservative Christians have made it so.

AND OP if you have his baby, it does not matter whether you divorce him or not, this man is going to stick to you like a dark shadow and be in your life for at least 18 years pushing & shoving you towards religion, judging every move you make and manipulating your kids the same way he’s trying to do you right now.

Only they will small defenseless and unable to reason their way through his religious BS. He’ll be looking to intentionally brainwash them as early as possible and I imagine you would want better for your children than this.

Remember OP, whatever he promises right now won’t hold when you have children. Saving their souls will be justification to go back on every promise he ever made to you.
OP, love yourself enough to get away from this hot mess.

YuunofYork −  Yeah, that’s kind of Christianity’s thing. Once you start saying souls can be ‘saved’ and people who aren’t baptized, etc. go to the same place rapists and murderers go, you quickly get to a place where they can’t exist in a vacuum. They have to sit in judgment over everyone else, and they like the power that gives them. Date an atheist. Or at least something non-proselytizing like reformed Jewish or Druze.

CaryWhit −  NtA Google Unequally Yoked. The church ladies lament about it endlessly. Much rending of garments and gnashing of teeth. Some of these things are not resolvable.

Wild_Butterscotch977 −  People who go down this rabbit hole rarely come out. So however bad it is now, it’s likely to only get worse. You’re not compatible and he’s crossing your boundaries left and right. Cut your losses. NTA. Edit to add judgment.

Fun_Orange_3232 −  NTA but I’d phrase it differently. You don’t want to divorce him for converting. You want to divorce him for pushing religion on you. And I get that.

NeTiFe-anonymous −  I have a rule that marriage is impossible with a person who is married to someone else. Some men are emotionally married to their mother, your husband fell in love with Jesus. There isn’t space for three people in a marriage. NTA.