AITA for Refusing to Let My Sister’s Kids Attend My Wedding After They Destroyed My House?

A Redditor shared their dilemma about whether they were wrong for banning their sister’s kids from their wedding. After a chaotic visit where the children caused significant damage to their home.

The user felt their boundaries were disrespected and now worries about similar behavior disrupting their special day. Read the full story below to decide if their decision was fair or too harsh.

‘ AITA for Refusing to Let My Sister’s Kids Attend My Wedding After They Destroyed My House?’

I’m (24, F) getting married to my fiancé (28, M) in a few months, and I’m in the middle of planning everything. I love my sister, Emily (30, F), and we’ve always been close despite our differences. She has three kids (ages 5, 7, and 10), and while I love them, I don’t see them often.

The problem is that the last time they visited my house, they left behind a trail of chaos that’s made me question whether I want them at my wedding. A few months ago, Emily and her kids came to visit for the weekend. I was excited to spend time with them, but as soon as they walked in, things went sideways.

They ran through my house, broke a vase, spilled juice on the carpet, and drew on my walls with crayon. I know kids can be messy, but this felt different. When Emily tried to help, the kids ignored her and were more interested in playing.

The worst part was when my fiancé found one of the kids trying to climb on our dining table, which was a custom piece we saved up for.
When they left, my house was in shambles. It took me two days to clean everything up, and I was left feeling frustrated and o**rwhelmed.

I brought it up to Emily, and she said, “Kids will be kids,” and that I shouldn’t be so hard on them. I understand kids can be energetic and curious, but it felt like my boundaries were crossed, and my home wasn’t respected. Now, as I’m planning my wedding, Emily has asked if she and the kids can come.

She told me that her kids are excited to see me get married and that they would be on their best behavior. I wanted to say yes, but I can’t forget how they treated my house. I’ve been stressing about it, and I finally told her that I’m not comfortable having them at the wedding.

I offered to let her come with her husband or a friend, but she’s upset and says I’m being unreasonable and unfair. Some of my friends have said I should let it go and let them come.

Others say I have every right to set boundaries for my big day. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if I’m justified in saying no. Am I the a**hole for refusing to let my sister’s kids attend my wedding after the chaos they caused at my house?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

HMS_Slartibartfast −  Drawing on walls isn’t a normal “Kids will be kids” behavior, especially when they are visiting others. I’d say NTA and I’d make it clear to your sister that “Until you can tell me WHY they were drawing on my walls,

they and you are not invited to any event I hold”. That action shows something is going on that you really don’t want to be a part of.

celticmusebooks −  I’d have looked her in the eye and said–“We actually were going to include them but we’ve had to cut expenses– it cost SO MUCH to have the crayon removed from the walls and then the whole room repainted and the carpet cleaned. It wiped us out.

The_Bad_Agent −  NTA. Your sister proved that she can’t manage her kids in a private setting. A wedding? Hell no. Tell her that if she was a better parent, you’d have thought differently. The fact that she chose to have #2 and #3, even though she’s incapable is asinine. She chose her life. These are her consequences.

Afraid_Ear_6681 −  They will destroy your wedding and all your sister will say is kids will be kids. You sure you want that? NTA

Quiet_Village_1425 −  NTA. Have a child free wedding. It’s you day!! Kids are hellions at any age. Don’t be suckered in to saying yes.

Kngfsher1 −  NTA. In the end, it’s your wedding, and you get to decide who does or doesn’t get to attend.

Turmeric_Ping −  NTA. You’re not being hard on the kids: they are simply suffering as a result of their mother’s refusal to restrain their behaviour in someone else’s house. The fact that ‘kid’s will be kids’ is why they need parents: to stop them, and to make them understand that what goes at home doesn’t fly elsewhere.

You won’t accept Emily’s assurances that they will be on their best behaviour because you know that her assurances are meaningless absent an active and involved parent who wants them to grow up into functioning, socially acceptable adults.

All she wants to do is give them an idyllic childhood without restraints, making life miserable for everyone around them. And then they will grow into dysfunctional adults and live miserable lives.

raihan____666 −  totally get it. I had a similar issue with my cousin’s kids at my wedding. Setting boundaries was the best decision for us, and everyone ended up understanding. It’s your day; do what feels right for you!

74Magick −  F**k that. NOPE. NTA

Naive_Meet5195 −  You’re not the AH for setting boundaries, especially after the chaos caused by your sister’s kids. It’s your wedding, and you have every right to prioritize your peace and enjoyment on your big day.

If you’re open to compromise, you could consider having a babysitter or supervised area for the kids. If not, communicate your decision kindly and firmly, it’s about protecting your day, not rejecting them.

Do you think the Redditor’s decision to exclude the kids was justified based on their past behavior, or should they have given them another chance? How would you handle a similar situation involving family and important boundaries? Share your thoughts and experiences below!