I closed my door on my Neighbor’s face because she REALLY needed Peanut Brittle, AITAH?

A Reddit user shared a heartbreaking experience about dealing with a grieving neighbor who persistently asked for peanut brittle, a holiday treat traditionally made by his late mother. Despite explaining the loss and his struggle to uphold family traditions, the neighbor showed little understanding and continued to push for the treat. Overwhelmed by the insensitivity, the user closed the door on her. Now, he wonders if he acted unfairly. Read the full story below to decide.

‘ I closed my door on my Neighbor’s face because she REALLY needed Peanut Brittle, AITAH?’

Hello, this is an odd situation for me, where I just really don’t know If I was being to much of a AH, but I’m just tired, and let me tell you why. I’m a 20 Year Old Guy, and I still live with my Dad at his house, my mom was in a lengthy battle with B**ast Cancer, and she passed during August. It wrecked me on so many levels, that I was not prepared for, on top of losing my hero, I felt like I should stay with my Dad to be here with him, and support him.

One of those things is keeping up with traditions, and recipes passed down from my mom. And it’s been really hard for holidays to even capture a fraction of the spirit of when my Mom would do Holidays, as she was the backbone of setting stuff up, preparing food, and decorating. But this is where we run into a problem.

My mom when she was alive, she would make Peanut Brittle, some fudge, and double chocolate crinkled cookies, and she would make like up to 30 batches of them, to put in containers and hand them out to family, to friends, to me and my siblings co-workers, and of course the neighbors.

This is my first real year of making all these sweets by myself, and I’m really not committed to doing all of this baking, when I’m in college, as well as balancing a job, and a side Hussle I have to make more money. I’m just to damn sad, with the grieving, and to tired from school and work to do loads of batches. In fact that the only reason I’m making these sweets, is because their yummy I cannot lie, and I know my dad would appreciate them.

I just started to attempt to make them, I only have made 2 small test batches, and they we’re good, not as good as my mom’s but this is where my neighbor knocks on my door.

I answer, expecting like a Christmas Card, and she said “Hi, I was wondering if you had got any of the peanut brittle done?” So I explain like, “Ah yeah I’m trying to perfect the recipe, but I don’t know If I can send them out this year” and she then she asked “Oh (Moms Name) is really slacking behind this year” and at this point I’m thinking to myself, does she not know my mom passed away and then I’m thinking we told her the news of it spreading and her being to tired to do any like neighborhood walking around the block with her friends.

So I’m like dumbfounded that she can’t put 2 and 2 together that she ISN’T ABLE TO MAKE Peanut Brittle. So I tell her she passed away in August, and she just looks at me like with a surprised expression. She said with like almost a confused tone. “So you’re not making Peanut Brittle at all how about tomorrow?” I at that point close the door and I’m kind of just hand in a fist, because, I’m about to breakdown in an u**y cry, and other bad emotions.

My dad finally comes out of his room, and ask who it was, was it a package, and I tell him neighbor wanting peanut brittle. And he looked confused, and he told me, “you haven’t even figured out the right temperature yet” in like a joking way but right as he says that, my neighbor text him, saying that I was being a snark to her so I tell him the full story, he get’s teary eyed because we are still grieving my mom. And he was like “More lighter than usual peanut brittle for us”

So AITAH? I feel like I could’ve been worse, by either yelling or just flat out crying, but me closing the door in a fast manner was all I can really think to do. I didn’t mean to upset her, I’m thinking all this stuff maybe she didn’t know and is processing it, but she knew my mom was barely able to walk 100-200 feet and always tired. So I’m just like yeah don’t know.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

paulcasn −  NTA. You’re grieving, stressed, and exhausted, and her tone was wildly insensitive. Closing the door wasn’t rude, it was self-preservation.

No-Bookkeeper6360 −  Your neighbor is incredibly rude and insensitive. Even if your mother was alive and healthy – to just show up at a neighbors house demanding a home made gift is insane. Add on the fact that she knew your mom was battling cancer, even if she didn’t know she passed, but she knew she was ill and comes over and makes comments not only demanding this gift but also saying she is “really slacking this year” while fighting cancer?!?! I cannot get over this ladies level of entitlement!

You are NTA at all! But your neighbor is a huge one! Please enjoy making those special holiday treats for you and your father in memory of your mother. Sounds like she was a fabulous lady. Do not share any with the neighbor. Sorry for your loss.

BlackEyedRat −  What a cunt. You showed infinitely more restraint than she deserved.

AbjectGovernment1247 −  Your neighbour is an entitled cow. Don’t give her *any* brittle. I don’t care how much you end up making, only give it to those who have shown you love during this horrible time. . NTA.

Clean_Factor9673 −  NTA. You’re in the first holiday season after losing your mom and your neighbor thinks her desire for peanut brittle is more important than your grief? Focus on you and your dad, don’t worry about anything else.. Edited a word.

Wrong_Moose_9763 −  I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my mom 13 years ago. Your neighbor needs to be put on a “NO DELIVERY” list permanently. NTA but she sure is.

kmflushing −  Closing the door on the neighbor’s face was actually a really nice thing to do. She’s lucky. No matter how much brittle you make in the future, she never ever gets any. I’m very, very sorry for your loss.

TwinkleToesTrixys −  NTA, my dude. Your neighbor is out here treating peanut brittle like it’s a life-saving serum, completely missing the fact that you’re grieving and juggling life’s chaos. She knew about your mom’s passing and still decided to prioritize her snack fix? The audacity is off the charts.

You didn’t yell or get n**ty—you just closed the door, which was honestly the most mature thing to do in that moment. You’re not a brittle factory, you’re a human dealing with a lot. Take care of yourself and your dad, and don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into thinking you owe them baked goods or emotional labor. Keep being kind to yourself—you deserve it.

deathboyuk −  “Sure. When I get my f**king mom back. Oh, no mom? No brittle. F**k off.”. NTA.

Majestic_Bit_4784 −  Firstly I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum, your neighbour was damn right rude and selfish. I would have probably done a lot worse to be honest. YNTA your neighbour is.