AITA for what I said to my aunt?
A Redditor shared a tense family interaction involving their 16-year-old cousin and their aunt. For the cousin’s birthday, the Redditor gifted her a romance novel from her favorite series. However, the aunt made a hurtful comment about the cousin’s weight, implying she couldn’t attract someone like the character on the cover.
The Redditor responded by telling the aunt, “Not everyone is shallow,” which caused the aunt to become upset. Now, the Redditor’s mom is suggesting they apologize for implying the aunt is shallow. Was the response appropriate, or did it go too far? Read the story below.
‘ AITA for what I said to my aunt?’
I(21) bought my cousin(16) a romance novel as a birthday present. It’s part of her favorite book series. My aunt took one look at the book cover, snorted and said ‘No way a fat girl like her gets a cute boy like him.’ My cousin looked down at her own body.
She has always been self conscious and confided in me that she wishes she were as slender as her sisters/my other cousins. Told me her mom/my aunt told her she should lose weight.
She looked at me the way she does when she is at a loss for words and wants me to help out, so I told my aunt ‘Not everyone is shallow.’ My aunt got upset and my mom told me I should apologize and that there was no reason for me to imply that my aunt is shallow.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
A-Strange-Peg − **NTA** as only shallow and ignorant people do not know that Fat Shaming ~~neve~~r rarely helped anyone which is why bullies do it on purpose. So, OP you actually chose the lesser of two words to mention, AND you didn’t actually call her ‘shallow’. *Aunt saw a shoe that fit and put it on!* update edit: as a commenter advised bullies helped them.
Firm-Sky-9168 − Nta your aunt is a j**k. If the comment hurt her so bad it’s probably because it’s true.
ludditesunlimited − Don’t you Dare apologise to that horrible woman. Be the kind support to your cousin that she clearly needs against her mother.
Seniora-Tonight7955 − NTA. Your aunt is actually b**lying your cousin and someone needs to have a serious discussion with her about it.
November-8485 − NTA. You helped your cousin feel little stronger and your aunt a bit more aware of how words have consequences.
Intrepid_Quantity760 − NTA. “I stand by my statement“
Liandren − Nta, but your mum needs to have your side of the narrative about how all this went down and what your Aunt does to your cousin. Then she can stop being her flying monkey. Tell her you aren’t apologising to someone who bullies their own child and refer her to this post and others percieve your Aunts behaviour.
Icy-Acanthisitta-431 − Have a conversation with your mother about why her adult siblings feelings matter more than your young cousin who is developing her self-esteem currently.
Your mom should talk to her sister about being appropriate and kind, and she should have told her sister that if she didn’t make off-hand remarks to her (daughter? neice?) then her own daughter (you) wouldn’t be saying factually accurate things in response.
This is a clean-cut case of who was in the wrong (it was your aunt). Besides which, you weren’t malicious and said, ‘not everyone is as shallow as Aunt’, your Aunt getting b**t-hurt is silly.
vineswinga11111 − Sounds like you went easy on her.. Edit: NTA
mycatsaflerken − NTA. I think if you apologize it will be like taking back what you said. All 3 of the girls my son has dated were big or thick. He finds it attractive. They are lovely, smart women. Your aunt doesn’t run the world.
Do you think the Redditor’s response was justified in defending their cousin, or should they have handled the situation more delicately? How would you respond to a loved one making such a hurtful remark? Share your thoughts below!