AITA for telling my bf “my house, my rules?”

A Reddit user shared a disagreement with her boyfriend over her dog. While she respected his house rules about keeping her dog off furniture when living with him, now that she has her own place, she allows her dog free reign. Her boyfriend insists the dog shouldn’t be allowed on her furniture if he’s visiting, but she stood firm, saying, “my house, my rules.” The conflict has left her questioning if she’s prioritizing her dog over her relationship. Read the full story below and decide for yourself.

‘ AITA for telling my bf “my house, my rules?”’

I (37F) and my bf (30M) have been together for 1.5 years. We were living together until I moved out due to issues he had with my dog i.e. she barked in the house, she shed too much, tried to get on the furniture etc. Since he owned his house I followed his rules which included not allowing my dog on the furniture or in the bedrooms.

I wasn’t happy with this since she’s always slept with me but because he didn’t care for dogs I did the best I could to follow his rules. I ended up moving out just a fews months after moving into his house to see if it would help the relationship and cut down on the drama with my dog. (Just for clarification purposes she’s a 90lbs German Shepherd and is roughly 8y/o. She’s typically pretty quiet and has never gotten into anything or been destructive.)

Now that I have my own place she has been allowed free range of my house again and is happier than ever. The problem is that he still doesn’t like my dog and told me that she wasn’t allowed on MY couch or MY bed if I ever wanted him to come over. An argument ensued due to me “being disrespectful and not caring about what he needs to feel comfortable.”

I laughed and told him I followed the rules in his house but now that he’s in my home, I make the rules. He doesn’t contribute anything financially to my bills or household so I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong. I’m also still buying groceries for both homes and do all the cooking at both.

Of course I want him to be comfortable in my home and I’ve told him I’d compromise by putting blankets down so hair doesn’t get on the bed or couch and take them off when he comes over but that wasn’t good enough for him. We argued more and he left saying that he wouldn’t come over anymore if I still let my dog on the furniture. I shrugged and didn’t say anything. So, AITA for tell my bf “my house, my rules” or am I prioritizing my dog over my relationship?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

aeroeagleAC −  You two cleary aren’t very compatible. Why are you holding onto this?

Freeverse711 −  You’re being an AH to yourself and your dog for even trying to make this relationship work. News flash, he doesn’t like dogs, your dog is only 8, she’s got years left. Break it off and find yourself a dog lover.

HauntingGur4402 −  I stopped reading after you wrote you still buy groceries and cook in both houses… why??? Time to get rid of him n be happy with just your dog.

Ironyismylife28 −  NTA, but if you are this different in your lifestyle and choices, why do you think you are compatible?

Nola_Germajun −  GIRL QUIT BUYING HIS GROCERIES AND COOKING HIS MEALS! He’s a whole grown ass man, and needs to act like it. He wants to be Big Daddy but still wants you to baby him. NTA you followed the rules at his house and when that didn’t work, you tried to accommodate him at your home and that wasn’t good enough for him.You were 100% correct- your house, your rules.

Why are you still together? Is the D really that good? Cuz toys have come a long way and this is not worth the hassle, and 1.5 years is not too bad for sunk cost. Dogs are like children, and shouldn’t be abandoned to make your man happy. The right man will love your fur baby like you do. Time to move on.

DottedUnicorn −  A fish may love a bird but where will they build a home together? A dog person and non-dog person just don’t work long term. Stop buying him food and cut the cord.

Ballas333 −  NTA. I feel like at this point you should just admit that you chose the dog over the guy. Which is fine. But clearly you two have very incompatible ideas of what your home life should look like.

United-Manner20 −  NTA clearly you’re not compatible for the long run so just cut it off now. You and your pup deserve better. Also quit subsidizing his grocery bill. Food is expensive.

Legitimate_Soup_1948 −  NTA at the end of the day you guys are just not compatible. You’re a dog person and he dislikes dogs, as long as you have one he’s always going to find a problem. “I’m also still buying groceries for both homes and do all the cooking at both”. Why are you buying his groceries???

Street_One5954 −  You are responsible for groceries for both homes? THAT makes you an AH. Let the man-boy buy his own food. You’re better off with just your dog. NTA-about the dog. Stop supporting this fool.