AITA for not changing our dresses for my brother wedding after finidng out bridesmaids will have same color?

A Reddit user faced a dilemma after finding out the bridesmaid dresses for their brother’s wedding were the same color as the dresses they and their mom had already purchased. Despite asking for color guidance earlier, the bride had withheld details until recently. Now, the bride is upset, accusing them of sabotaging her wedding, while the Redditor feels it’s too late to change their outfits. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not changing our dresses for my brother wedding after finidng out bridesmaids will have same color?’

My brother and his gf are getting married soon, for context we all live overseas (they are in Belgium, I live in America and our family is from New Zealand). They have attempted to tied the knot before but for things not related to this post they have postponed the wedding.

They decided earlier this year to get married back at home. My mom had offered to help with arrangements and things they need, noting they aren’t there, however my brother told my mom that the gf – let’s call her Bec -wants to organise everything as she wants to surprise everyone.

We only got a virtual invitaton with no indication about colours, we asked and they said just not wear anything whiteish. My cousin now bridesmaid was only asked to be a bridesmaid last week and only today she was told the dress colour which she immediately informed the bride that my mom was wearing that colour, so Bec asked her to please tell my mom to change it.

I told my mom she’s not changing the dress and that I’m wearing the same color just on a different tone, but that is now too late for us to make any changes on the dress.

My brother texted on the family group just informing us about the bridesmaid color and to please not wear that (today), but I told him we already had the dresses and that it was too late for us to change, that we had asked several times before an they decided not to tell us anything before, he seemed to understand and said that it fine and that was it.

My cousin said that Bec called her desperate crying in rage because apparently we are trying to sabotage her wedding? We also found out that only took the decision to ask them to be bridesmaid last week and one of them had already bought a dress – and as the other ones haven’t, she decided then that it was easier to ask the other 2 to wear the same colour.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

snarkness_monster −  My cousin said that Bec called her desperate crying in rage because apparently we are trying to sabotage her wedding How do these people survive in life? It sounds exhausting. NTA

donut_koharski −  NTA. Bec needs to grow up.

gumballbubbles −  I wouldn’t change it. They didn’t offer you any information so they can’t complain now.

Particular-Try5584 −  Edit. Changing vote to NTA… now there’s new information: The bride doesn’t ahve bridesmaids, and the MOH is wearing a different colour. Toss in the MOG dress was made by an aunt and there isn’t time to change and it’s a no brainer.

So this is a non-issue now. Wear the dresses… She doesn’t get to play mysterious mysteries and then cry foul when the NPCs s**ew up the storyline/aesthetic.

But you have enough time to arrange a new dress… You haven’t said yours has had special fittings… a dress is a dress is a dress. I am sure you can buy a similar dress in a different colour And you are telling your mum what to do, stay out of that, leave it to her to decide for herself.

Kazetem −  Sigh, it’s a new trend: brides who put their aesthetic over people.

Perfect_Ring3489 −  Nta. She needs to grow up. What does the bridesmaids colour matter?

Sorry_I_Guess −  NTA. Honestly, putting aside Bec’s ridiculous behaviour, and the fact that she left her choices for her bridal party to the last minute, you’d *still* be NTA. It’s your *brother’s* wedding, not some distant cousin or friend of the family. You and your mum are immediate family.

There’s no reason at all why you shouldn’t be wearing some version of the same colour as the bridal party. In fact, lots of people do that on purpose with the mother of the bride, etc.

Emotional_Fan_7011 −  NTA. Bec just got a crash course in communication.

Wandering_aimlessly9 −  I call divorce in less than 3 years! Nta

Individual_Metal_983 −  NTA she was asked and she said nothing whiteish.. You bought accordingly.

Should the Redditor and their mom have tried harder to accommodate the bride’s last-minute request, or is the bride overreacting given the late notice? How would you handle a situation like this? Share your opinions below!