AITA for refusing to babysit my niece at the last minute?

A Redditor found themselves in a tough spot when their sister, Emily, called at the last minute for help babysitting her four-year-old daughter. Balancing a full-time job and evening classes, the Redditor declined, citing an important review session for an upcoming exam. While their mother stepped in to help, Emily was upset, accusing them of being selfish. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my niece at the last minute?’

I work full time and recently started taking evening classes to finish my degree. My schedule is packed, and I rely on my evenings to study or attend classes. My sister Emily has a four year old daughter named Lila. I love my niece and I’ve babysat her many times when she asks in advance.

Last week Emily called me about an hour before my class to ask if I could watch Lila for a few hours. She said she and her husband both had work emergencies. I told her I had an important class that evening which included a review session for an upcoming exam. I apologised but said I couldn’t miss it and she would need to figure something else out.

Emily ended up calling our mom, who was able to go over and watch Lila. Now she is upset with me and says I was selfish for not helping when she really needed it. She said she would not have asked unless it was a real emergency.

My mom also mentioned that I could have made it work since Emily has a lot on her plate with her job and being a mom. I feel bad for saying no but I also feel like I had a valid reason. AITA to stick to my plans instead of helping her?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Stranger0nReddit −  NTA. You had plans already, you have your own life that doesn’t stop just because Emily needs a last minute sitter. Besides, she obviously had at least one other person she could ask. Also, she and her husband BOTH had work emergencies at the same time? Do they work together or something?

And how big of a work emergency are we talking? because I can understand dropping everything if a loved one was being rushed to the hospital or something. but if it’s a work emergency like a client will pull out of the deal unless you meet with them ASAP, then no, i’m not skipping a class for that.

Hail-to-the-Sheep −  NTA. Know who else has a lot on their plate? You. You have a lot. You are working full time and taking classes to boot. This is finals time. You have to prioritize staying on top of work, studying, and your own health so you can get through the next few weeks.

dangerous_skirt65 −  NTA. Gimmee a break. So SHE decided to have a child and now anyone who doesn’t drop their own life to help her is a bad person?? You know what? You want to have a child, make sure you can manage that in your life and you can afford to be out of work to care for them (or afford daycare). The end. Nobody else is responsible for YOUR child.

Major-Distance4270 −  NTA. I understand it was an emergency but you have important plans that night. Your education is and should be your priority.

MinnGranny −  I find it very suspect that she and her hubby both had work emergencies at the exact same time. They probably wanted an impromptu date night and thought she could guilt you into babysitting. Stand your grand and make sure you are always your first priority.

Special_Respond7372 −  NTA. Why was your education supposed to take a back seat to her and her child? You and your schedule are important too. It is *not* your responsibility to figure out child care for *her* child. You babysit when you can, so it’s not like you never help her. She’s being ungrateful and entitled.

The petty part of me wants you to tell her that since you’re *so selfish*, you won’t be helping at all anymore. But if she’s not usually like this, that’s probably too far.

TheMillennialDiaries −  NTA. Your sister wasn’t an a**hole for asking, but she is an a**hole for making an issue of it when you said no. Your mom is an a**hole for harping on it too— your niece isn’t your kid, and she’s not your responsibility, no matter how much you might love her.

You weren’t just hanging out at home doing nothing, you had plans. Important plans— that class included exam prep, and passing it is important for your degree. It’s a bummer that your sister had a work emergency, and that she needed a sitter, but your responsibilities to yourself aren’t less important than her responsibilities to her job or her family. Your mom was able to babysit, so no harm no foul.

No_Hippo_1472 −  My parents always say “school is work, and if you have both school and work, school comes first.” People who don’t view school as just as valuable as work are being disrespectful of the amount of effort it takes to do well. The fact that you’re balancing both yet your mother views your sister as having the more difficult situation being a working mother is telling. You’re both doing hard things. NTA

Cokefan26 −  Why do people think when you tell them no to do something to benefit yourself that you’re selfish that just pisses me off you had things to do that’s not your child. You don’t have to stop dropping and roll for them and your mother got her nerves.

She stepped in and took up the slack so she needed to just shut her mouth. Tell your sister that’s not your child just like she had priorities you have priorities and don’t let it bother you some people just ask as they want you to stop dropping and do everything for them but if you had emergency, what was she would’ve done for you

djbakedpotat0 −  As someone who has a small child it literally blows my mind how entitled some people can be. Just because someone doesn’t have a child doesn’t mean they don’t have a life or obligations too? I can’t imagine being mad at my sister for saying no if I needed her to watch my child. She has a life too. Is society ok?

Was the Redditor justified in prioritizing their class, or should they have stepped in to help their sister in an emergency? How do you decide between personal commitments and family responsibilities? Share your thoughts below!