AITA for refusing to house-sit for my friend after I found out they got a cat?
A Reddit user shares their dilemma about refusing to house-sit for a friend after discovering they got a cat, despite being allergic. The situation unfolds with unexpected tension as the friend scrambles to make alternate arrangements. Read the full story below to dive into the details of this tricky scenario.
‘ AITA for refusing to house-sit for my friend after I found out they got a cat?’
I (28M) agreed to house-sit for my friend Alex (30M) while they went on a week-long vacation. Alex has a dog that I’ve always loved, and I thought it would be nice to help them out. I even took some time off work to make sure I could give the dog plenty of attention.
A few days before Alex left, I went over to get the house keys and a rundown of what needed to be done. That’s when Alex casually mentioned, “Oh, by the way, we got a cat!” This caught me off guard because I’m very allergic to cats. Alex knows this—I’ve had to leave gatherings early before because of my allergies.
I asked why they hadn’t told me earlier, and Alex said they forgot because they’d only had the cat for about a month. I told Alex I couldn’t stay in their house if they had a cat. Even if I avoided it, the dander would still trigger my allergies. I suggested they ask someone else or hire a sitter.
Alex got defensive, saying I was leaving them in a lurch right before their trip. I felt bad, but I didn’t think it was fair for Alex to spring this on me last minute. I offered to check in on the dog daily (if they could isolate the cat in another room), but Alex said that wouldn’t work.
They ended up scrambling to find someone else and left for their trip angry at me. A mutual friend later told me I should’ve sucked it up for a week because Alex really needed the break and probably just forgot to mention the cat. I’m starting to feel like I might’ve overreacted. AITA?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
ArreniaQ − NTA. I also have allergies to cat dander. I can tolerate neighbors cat that comes over and visits outside, but NOT in the house. They have had the cat for a month, it’s hair and dander are everywhere. They were not planning to make the effort to clean a space for you where the cat was not allowed.
Your friend who is saying you should have sucked it up for a week obviously has no idea what it’s like to have streaming eyes and nose, swollen face and not able to breathe. They knew for a month before bothering to tell you, they found someone else to do it, so any issues are on Alex and his family
StAlvis − NTA. I didn’t think it was fair for Alex to spring this on me last minute. Why do I suspect that might have been strategic?
Alex said they forgot because they’d only had the cat for about a month.
Alex really needed the break and probably just forgot to mention the cat. Who *forgets* about a brand-new pet? The first month of owning a cat consists of *nothing but* taking and sharing pictures and videos of your new kitty.
KaliTheBlaze − NTA. Severe allergies are no joke! Your friend should not be expecting you to endanger your life to house sit for them, especially when that part was sprung on you with so little warning.
Make no mistake, that’s what they’re asking for if you have serious allergies – sustained contact with a severe allergen can cause anaphylaxis. They made a pretty major change to the conditions of your agreement by getting the cat, so they have no one to blame but themselves.
Full_Pace7666 − NTA. Anyone who tells you to “s**k it up” when it comes to an *allergy* isn’t someone worth keeping around.
Main_Asparagus3375 − NTA – everyone telling you to “s**k it up” is. My brother has a pretty severe pet allergy – both dogs and cats. When my family helped me move across the country, he wasnt able to stay with us because the couch we had at the time was from a home with a dog and cat.
The allergens were too much, and we didnt make it through the first night before my mom and I got so afraid for his safety that my mom shelled out a few hundred for a hotel room. They just came back to stay with me for the first time since then.
I have spent the 4 months since the trip was planned trying to reduce the allergens in the house. I threw out our couch and bought a new one. I bought allergens reducer sprays for fabric AND two for the cats. I bought him an air mattress, bed sheets and a pillow that i kept sealed until he used them.
The day before they arrived we bathed the cats and covered them in allergen reducers and vacuumed/dusted EVERYTHING and washed every linen. He still had mild allergies but he was able to stay with us for five days without issue.
We took it this seriously, because ALLERGIES ARE SERIOUS. If you hadnt know, you COULD have had a serious reaction the first day if you were planning on staying there 24/7. For someone to disregard a known allergy for their own benefit is vile.
CommunityDefiant4292 − NTA . You’re allergic to cats! Even worse… your friend knows about it! They just tried to force your hand, thinking you wouldn’t back out at the last minute! Stand your ground
pottersquash − NTA. I’m guessing since discovering this allergy you haven’t spent multiple days in a home with a cat. You have no idea how your body would respond to that. It may not have been physically possible for you to do it.
lnsertRandomUsername − NTA. why have I seen so many allergy related posts today. If he knows that you’re allergic to cats and just told you right before they left, and then gets mad at you, just honestly ditch him. Also ditch your mutual friend that said to s**k it up. THATS NOT HOW F**KING ALLERGIES WORK
didthefabrictear − He didn’t ‘forget’ to tell you – he told you last minute hoping you’d feel bad enough to not pull out. You were doing them a favour and instead of appreciating, they moved the goalposts with zero thought for you –
and then had the balls to be pissy cause you won’t’ spend a week sneezing and itchy for the sake of their new cat. Man – I hate people like this. Selfish, self centred, arrogant users.. NTA at all.
Rare-Cheesecake9701 − NTA. You would have “sucked it up” if you agreed to sit despite the cat. Probably the last time in your life.
I’m so pissed at how people treat allergies. It’s not just “some sneezing” it’s our freaking body attacking itself because our immune system goes nuts..
Those friends are aholes, OP. Be careful with them, as even when they get back, they will be covered in your allergens and 100% be like: “Oh, c’mon, that’s just some hair! Don’t be dramatic!”
Do you think the Redditor was justified in standing firm due to their allergy, or should they have compromised for the sake of their friend’s vacation? How would you handle a situation where a last-minute detail complicates a favor? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!