AITA if I tell my stepmother she can’t stay with me cause she doesn’t respect my allergies?

A Redditor with deadly allergies to chocolate and seafood is facing tension with their stepmother, who has repeatedly ignored their requests not to bring chocolate into their home. On previous visits, the stepmother brought large amounts of chocolate, leaving it open and accessible despite the Redditor’s serious health concerns.

When the stepmother asked to stay again, the user laid down a firm boundary, insisting she leave any chocolate in her car or find another place to stay. The stepmother reacted angrily, leaving the user questioning if they’re in the wrong. Read the full story below to understand the situation.

‘ AITA if I tell my stepmother she can’t stay with me cause she doesn’t respect my allergies?’

I (27) have deadly allergies to chocolate and seafood. Every time my family comes up from SC they stay with me, my child (5) and my fiance (36). The past few times they stayed with us my stepmother (43) had been pushing with needing chocolate in my house in various containers that are easily spillable. I have asked her to leave the chocolate in the car and not bring it in the house.

2 months ago when she visited with the rest of the family, she went chocolate buying crazy and made sure it was everywhere in my house with open containers. I talked with her and said I no longer feel comfortable with her staying if she wasn’t going to respect my allergies in my own house.

She called me up yesterday and said she will be in the area at the end of the month and she would like to stay at my house for a night before heading back home. I told her I didn’t have an issue with it but if she has chocolate with her than it has to stay in the car.

If she can’t do that then she has to find another place to stay especially since it’s not just me who is allergic but my child as well. She immediately blew up at me and started calling me a variety of curse words. AMTA if I stand my ground and not let her stay with us?

See what others had to share with OP:

Beginning-Goal-8286 −  NTA. Your house, your rules. This is a serious allergy and she’s being entitled and selfish by even considering bringing anything chocolate. She can’t be trusted and is now disrespecting you. It’s unacceptable, and she won’t be staying at your house. Until she apologizes and agrees to your rules, she’ll need to find somewhere else to stay while she’s in town.

MyFriendsCallMeEpic −  She immediately blew up at me and started calling me a variety of curse words. You know what a normal reaction to being asked to abide by some very easy and reasonable boundaries are?

“Why yes, of course, I wouldn’t want to hurt you or the little one”. But instead she went into a tirade, Makes you think she was going to the sole purpose of harming you.. NTA. Don’t like crazy into the home.

pixie-ann −  NTA why on earth does she need so much chocolate when she stays with you? It seems intentional. I wouldn’t have her back in my home either.

OoohItsAMystery −  NTA. It’s a simple request, and as someone who *loves* chocolate myself I’ll say if someone asked me to not bring it in their home due to allergies I’d be more than happy to do so. I would rather be without it for one day, or even a few, then accidentally kill someone.

Go-Mellistic −  I have never understood people who think an appropriate response to being denied a request is to start hurling insults. My mother does this a lot. My response has been something like: well, I was against it before but now, after you have insulted me, my answer is hell no and f**k off. And in this case, her crazy demand is to bring a known allergen into your home that could literally kill you and your child. Hell no. NTA.

GhostPantherAssualt −  NTA. Good job on standing your ground, did you ask why does she have such a chocolate need? Sounds completely unreasonable, all you’re asking is to leave chocolate and seafood out of your house. Kinda simple thing to do. In my house we don’t have peanut butter, extremely allergic.

H-f-t-s −  I don’t even have to read all of it to know you’re NTA. But I did read it. And now I’m mad for you. She’s a d**k.

BeMandalorTomad −  NTA. I’m a choco-holic. I’m also diabetic, so I work super hard at keeping my sugars in check so that I can have a mini piece of chocolate without hurting myself. And even I wouldn’t bring chocolate into your home. She sounds to me like one of those people that doesn’t really believe in allergies. She might even be testing you so one day she can say, see? It’s not that big of a deal.

That is a psychotic mindset, imo. Yeah, sometimes people grow out of allergies, but the potential benefit does not outweigh the huge, terrifying, life threatening risk. I wouldn’t let her in my house ever. Edited for typo. I definitely don’t woke super hard 🤣

TarzanKitty −  NTA. Her cussing you out shouldn’t make you more inclined to welcome her into your home. That should ensure that dad’s wife is never welcome in your home again.

Klutzy_Horror409 −  It sounds like your stepmother is one of those people who try to “test” people allergies to see if they are really allergic. That or she wants to kill you. Don’t let her stay at all. Especially after she cussed you out. It’s very intentional. Stay the hell away from her.