AITA for refusing to babysit my deceased best friend’s kids after her husband’s betrayal?
A Redditor shares a heartbreaking story of refusing to babysit her late best friend Emma’s children after Emma’s husband, Mike, betrayed her by having an affair during her cancer treatment. Mike is now living with his affair partner and wants the Redditor to babysit, claiming it’s “what Emma would have wanted.”
The Redditor declined, struggling with the pain of Mike’s actions, but is now facing backlash from family and friends who believe she’s being vindictive. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my deceased best friend’s kids after her husband’s betrayal?’
My best friend “Emma” passed away from cancer two years ago. We were like sisters—she was my maid of honor, I was hers. When she was diagnosed, I was her primary caregiver, helping her through chemo and spending every possible moment with her. Her husband “Mike” was a different story.
During her treatment, I discovered he was having an affair with a coworker. Emma knew but was too sick to deal with the drama. After she died, I confronted Mike, telling him he was a disgrace. He begged me to keep it from the kids (9 and 6). Last week, Mike called asking me to regularly babysit.
Apparently, his affair partner is now his live-in girlfriend (she’s some AI art influencer with 50k followers who posts these dressed-up cats and babies you see everywhere), and they want “free time.” He had the audacity to say Emma would have wanted me to help “for the kids.”
I told him absolutely not. The thought of babysitting while he lives with the woman who betrayed Emma makes me sick. Some say the kids are innocent and need support, others think I’m justified. Mike is now telling everyone I’ve abandoned Emma’s children. My own family is pressuring me, saying I’m being vindictive.. Am I the a**hole?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
dvlrockin − NTA and since he’s telling everyone you abandoned the kids I’d tell everyone how he was BANGING SOMEONE ELSE WHILE HIS WIFE WAS DYING OF CANCER.
FieldPug − NTA. I always wonder why a woman would want to be with a man who treats his dying wife so poorly.
Left-Ad-2496 − NTA. Give the c**ater the contact details of your mutual friends and family who think otherwise.
ritan7471 − NTA. I would say, “You’re not asking me to support the kids right now. You are asking me to support you and the woman you betrayed my best friend with so you can have date nights.
If you want me to support them, you’ll invite me to be there for them at performances and school events. NOT to give you free time to nurture the relationship you formed and flaunted while your dead wife was too sick to fight you about it.”
Perfect_Ring3489 − Nta. Not your responsibility. He clearly has no morals
Quirky_Passage_5200 − NTA. But be there for the kids on your terms. Don’t allow him to use your time so he can have free time with his affair partner. The level of disrespect. This man has no morals. The children could use your presence.
No_Jaguar67 − NTA have you not exposed his ass to the public?
maleficentwasright − Tell Mike he and his mistress turned girlfriend they got *all* the free time they needed when his late wife was dying and they was off f**king around.. NTA.
Specialist-Ant-4796 − I mean, why doesn’t he just hire a babysitter?
BluejayRelevant2005 − NTA. He just wants free childcare and is an absolute POS who is using emotional manipulation to try to get what he wants.
Do you think the Redditor is justified in prioritizing her feelings and setting boundaries, or should she step in for the children’s sake? How would you navigate supporting someone’s kids in such a difficult situation? Share your perspective in the comments below!