AITA for drama over pink wedding dress?

A Reddit user (26F) is caught in a heated dispute with her parents over her dream of wearing a pink wedding dress. Despite her long-standing desire for the color and her fiancé’s approval, her mom deems the choice “childish and embarrassing” and has threatened to withhold financial support unless she opts for a traditional white gown.

The user’s brother offers to split the bill instead, but the conflict leaves her feeling torn between sticking to her dream or avoiding further family drama. For the full story, read below…

‘ AITA for drama over pink wedding dress?’

Me (26f) and my fiance (26m) are getting married this coming May. Last week, me and my parents were discussing plans for the wedding. For the longest time (since teens perhaps), I have had my heart set on a pink wedding gown. That color makes me feel the prettiest and (I believe) suits me more than white. My mom has known about this interest, but always thought it was one of those fancies which would “go away” once I grew up and actually decided to get married.
Well, here we are. When I brought up the pink wedding dress again during our discussion, my mom and I got into a serious argument about it. She said that it would be childish and embarrassing of me to get married in a gown that color and she doesn’t want me to regret in the future looking back at my photos. I argued that there was nothing embarrasing about wearing a color I like on MY special day, and even James didn’t mind what color of the dress I wore. I also said that regret could go either way and I could end up regretting NOT wearing pink in the future so I’d rather go with the decision that makes me happy right now. Although my dad hasn’t been as vocally against the pink dress, he is starting to side with mom seeing how upset she is getting over this.
Over the whole week, there has been no end in sight to this argument, with my mom bringing up multiple times how they won’t pay their half for the wedding dress if I go with pink (the initial agreement was to split the bill 50-50). My brother (30m) thinks the whole argument over this color is ridiculous and told mom that he’d be happy to split the bill with me instead, and *they* might end up being the ones regretting this whole drama more than me regretting the color in the future.
I honestly feel so torn over this. I am not sure anymore if I want the pink dress that badly just because I feel hurt the way my parents reacted to it and made such a big deal out of it. On the other hand, this is what I have always wanted but I do feel like this small of a decision is causing a hige drama for no reason. AITA?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Jyqm −  I do feel like this small of a decision is causing a hige drama for no reason.
There is precisely one person causing drama here, and frankly it’s ridiculous that you think it might be you.
My brother (30m) thinks the whole argument over this color is ridiculous and told mom that he’d be happy to split the bill with me instead
Sounds like you’ve got a solution then, assuming you can’t afford to pay for the dress in full yourself.
NTA, but you need to be very clear with your mother that you are an adult who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions, and this sort of n**ty micromanaging and pettifogging is not going to be acceptable from here on out. Particularly if she wants to enjoy a relationship with her future grandchildren (assuming you’re planning on becoming parents, anyway).

Ok_Expression7723 −  NTA. Your mom is overreacting. Get the dress that makes you happiest. In whatever color you want.
If they refuse to pay for half, have a smaller wedding or take your brother up on his offer.
If having a smaller wedding means your parents’ friends aren’t invited, oh well.
I hate gifts with strings attached. It’s just m**ipulative not a real gift.

TheSciFiGuy80 −  NTA
Historically people didn’t wear white.
Queen Victoria changed all that in the 19th century with her white gown which was widely published and popularized the idea.
Before 1840, brides often wore red, *pink*, blue, brown, or black. However, white didn’t become the standard choice for brides until the mid-20th century. This was due to the rise of mass media, fashion magazines, and Hollywood films, which helped reinforce the association between white dresses and weddings.
So just remind her that this is your wedding and you want to feel pretty in a gown of your choice.

EastPirate6505 −  NTA
My oldest and I have been discussing wedding dresses.
One of the shops I recommended to her was Flora and Lane. I’m not sure they even have a totally white dress.
It’s YOUR day. Your mum got to wear what she wanted on her wedding day. You get to wear what you want on yours. Don’t have them put money towards it. Pay for it yourself.
If you’re old enough to get married then you should be old enough to stand by your own decisions about YOUR day.

LoveBeach8 −  NTA
Your mom is causing the drama, not you!! And your dad is adding fuel to the fire.
I think your pink wedding dress would be absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!! Do it.
It’s YOUR wedding, not your mom’s, not your dad’s. It’s YOURS.
If they won’t budge on their threats, either let your brother help pay for your wedding or do something else, like elope or scale down your wedding expenses by having a small, intimate setting with a small reception. You’ll save money and can use the leftover money to put towards a honeymoon or a house.
Congrats on your upcoming wedding in your beautiful pink dress!

examingmisadventures −  My daughter got married in August in a lavender dress. She was absolutely stunning. A friend’s daughter got married recently in a black gown – striking.
The point is, you do you. You’re only planning to marry once, right? Best to get it right, then, as you won’t have a do-over.
I’d suggest you have a calm sit-down with her and ask what’s causing her concern. Does your mom have fantasies about you walking down the aisle in white? Or is she worried about what other people will think? What’s the problem exactly?
Try to listen to her concerns, but ultimately – it’s your day. If she’s paying for the wedding and insists you wear white, you might want to reconsider that – maybe have a small wedding with a barbecue reception at a park or something that you can afford. For heaven’s sake, don’t go into debt for a wedding… SO not worth it.. Best of luck, dear.

SizzleDebizzle −  NTA
Stop arguing. If someone doesnt like what youre doing and they wanna change your mind, you dont have to engage. Thank them for their input and care but this is what youre doing and dont engage anymore

THEchiQ −  I think it’s unreasonable to throw their toys out of the cot over a decision made by you and your husband-to-be, but I guess they can do that. Just do what you want. If it means a smaller wedding, or your parents being sulky, keep in mind that this is all about the two of you, and the important thing is how you feel about it. Have fun. Honestly? I eloped to ignore the hassles, drama, and expenditure. Something to consider 😆 NTA

Vhagar37 −  NTA. Take your brother’s offer. Wear exactly what you want to your wedding. Your parents are being weird.

SlightlyCrazyCatMom −  NTA. This is NOT about a dress—this is an issue of adulthood vs parents. Think verrrry long and hard before deciding your mom gets final say on what you wear to get married in. You are setting a precedent you will not enjoy endlessly repeating.
Call her bluff. Refuse any money and have YOUR wedding in YOUR budget. Emancipate yourself.