AITA for confronting my mom after being left out of family vacation?

A Reddit user confronted their mom after discovering they were left out of a family cruise planned to replace a canceled Thanksgiving trip. The mom claimed the decision to withhold the news was to “protect their feelings.”

But the user felt hurt and disrespected, especially given their already strained relationship and mental health struggles. Was the reaction justified or overly dramatic? Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for confronting my mom after being left out of family vacation?’

Today I sent my mom a text message to tell her I’m pissed about being left out of family vacation. So, this story really begins around September. My family was going to go on vacation to Tampa for Thanksgiving as opposed to cooking. However, Helene ravaged Florida, so my family decided to cancel the trip.

I live in western North Carolina, which also destroyed by Helene, so I was receptive and understanding of the situation. I was under the assumption that Thanksgiving would occur as usual. Around a week ago, I was texting my aunt about something unrelated and she mentioned that the family was going on a 5-day cruise to Mexico.

I was taken aback by that, and asked her if it was to compensate for the fact they had to cancel the trip to Tampa. She said yes. Apparently this trip was scheduled immediately after the family received news about the state of Florida after Helene.

My mom decided she wanted to withhold that information from me as to “not hurt my feelings”, but really I know it’s because she didn’t want to pay for me, which would have been fine if she just told me. My mom has issues with communication, so we have a rocky relationship.

She has a history of abuse, and we overall don’t get along very well. I expected this kind of thing from her, but it really hits hard lately since I’ve been struggling with mental health. When I texted her about how I felt, she told me I was being dramatic and it made no sense that I was so wound up about it.

Really, it isn’t the fact they went, it’s the fact they hid it from me. I tried to tell her that I would’ve been fine about not going if she had told me instead of hiding it for months. AITA? I don’t really know if I’m being dramatic.

See what others had to share with OP:

stringrandom −  NTA, based on OP’s family sucking. ~~INFO: Why would your mom need to pay for you?~~

OhmsWay-71 −  NTA. Calling out terrible behaviour is just that. It is not dramatic. People being called out on their bad behaviour try to flip the script by placing the person calling them out as being dramatic, overreacting, crazy…anything that puts them in a better light
You are not wrong. You are absolutely entitled to feel left out.

MuzikL8dee −  You said some things in here that raise some red flags to me about your relationship with your mother. You said your mother has a history of abuse? Meaning she was abused or she was a**sive?

Her response and saying that you’re over dramatic even though she purposely hid this from you, makes me think that you should put this on the narcissistic parent subreddit. She purposely did this, whether you could pay for it or not.

I think it’s time to either go low contact or no contact with her. Maybe you should do all your communications through somebody else in the family? I’m so sorry what happened to you guys in North Carolina!

Malibu_Cola −  NTA. You were deliberately left out. Your family sucks for doing that to you.

Far-Artichoke5849 −  It doesn’t make sense that you’d be upset about not being invited or told about the family vacation? That would be the last time i talk to her for sure, and probably most of the rest of the family for being ok with it

WhereWeretheAdults −  NTA. Mom has really trained you well to accept her crap if you think you are being dramatic. Mom didn’t want you to go. That’s all. She is abusing you again and expects you to just roll over like always. Mom’s toxic.

iClawdia −  INFO: Were you going on the original holiday? That is not clear. If you were going on the Florida holiday were you paying for yourself? Are you 20 or 40? I wouldn’t expect the latter to have a holiday paid for.

NTA for bringing up your feelings. Your mother should have told you Thanksgiving was not going ahead. She should have given you the option to come on the cruise and pay for yourself.

LadySiren −  NTA. As a fellow North Carolinian and mom to a kid living in WNC, your mom not only sucks for excluding you, she sucks hardcore for not having an ounce of empathy or compassion in Helene’s aftermath.

WNC suffered terribly and you’d think she would have at least the smallest shred of sympathy for you. I’m so sorry your egg donor sucks donkey balls, OP. At this point, I would just drop the rope and go no contact. Seek out those who add to your life, not those who treat you with disdain. 

needsmorecoffee −  Your family left you out of an entire family vacation and lied about it and she thinks you’re being dramatic. Yeah, NTA–I think you’ve learned to accept this stuff as normal, but it isn’t.

bookworm-mama5 −  NTA. Communication is so important and she failed at it completely. She could have said if they were deciding to go without out, or you could come but only if you paid for yourself. These things never stay hidden so the whole “protect your feelings” thing is BS.

Was the user right to call out their mom for hiding the family trip, or could they have approached the situation differently? How would you feel if you were left out of a family vacation? Share your thoughts below!