AITA for Rejecting a Gifted Kitten 26 Hours After My Pet Passed Away?

A Reddit user (30F) shares a heartfelt and emotionally charged story about losing their nearly 20-year-old cat, only to have their parents surprise them with a new kitten just 26 hours later. While the gesture was intended to help them cope, the timing and their refusal to take “no” for an answer caused deep distress for both the user and their girlfriend. Read the full story below to see how it unfolded.

‘ AITA for Rejecting a Gifted Kitten 26 Hours After My Pet Passed Away?’

My gf 31F and I 30F recently lost a beloved family member our nearly 20-year-old cat. I’ve always said that when she passed, I might consider adopting elderly cats. I’ve had her since I was 10 and took over full-time care when I was 21. She passed away a week ago, and we’ve been in deep mourning ever since

The day after she passed, my dad knocked on our door. My gf answered and asked why he was there. He said, “I just felt like giving you a hug.” They hugged, and then she told me he was here. I hugged him too, and he said, “Your mum came down too.” I said it was lovely of them to visit That’s when my mum walked through the entryway, smiling and holding a cat carrier.

My gf immediately looked concerned and asked, “You haven’t?” I asked if they had brought down our other cat, but they said no. After this, I realized they were trying to gift us a kitten, the same breed as our recently passed cat. My gf and I were both shocked/upset. I told them we appreciated the thought but didn’t want it.

They asked if they could bring the kitten inside to use the litter box since it had been in the car for an hour. Reluctantly, we agreed, which we now regret. I didn’t want the poor kitten to suffer because of this. They told us the kitten was only eight weeks old, needed a home. They also mentioned it was already litter-trained all while placing it in the litter box. They said they thought we’d like it.

I reiterated that while we appreciated the thought, it had only been just over a day since our cat passed. My mum chuckled at this. When I saw the tiny kitten trying to climb out of the litter box, I started crying. My gf asked if I wanted to step into the other room to calm down. I went to get a drink and compose myself.

Meanwhile, my gf repeatedly asked my them to take the it and leave. Instead, they kept talking about how cute it was and tried to get her to hold it. My dad said he’d get the it but just wandered around following it, hands in his pockets. Finally, my gf raised her voice, telling them firmly to pick up the kitten and leave. I returned to console her, and at that point, they finally picked up the kitten and headed out. I followed them to make sure they were leaving.

My mum was already in the car, and my dad lingered at the door. While saying goodbye, he apologized, saying my mum was sorry as well. He asked, “Will you ever want a new cat?” I replied, “I’m not sure, but if we do, it won’t be that kitten.” After that I went back inside to console my gf.

Now my parents are messaging me, first trying to pretend it didn’t happen. Then me asking for space with them responding I’m in a mood over a kitten and it was out of love. I’ve asked them for space, but they aren’t respecting it.

Meanwhile, my gf is worried that she overreacted and lost her composure I can’t shake the feeling that I messed up with my parents. Their persistent messages begging me to reconnect only make things worse. I keep questioning if I overreacted to what they did AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

diminishingpatience −  NTA. Even if they made the initial mistake with good intentions, they repeatedly ignored what you both wanted.

pochoproud −  NTA. As soon as they saw your reaction, they should have scooped up the kitten with profound appologies and left.  I’m in a mood over a kitten and it was out of love.  No you’re not “in a mood”, and if it was “out of love”, then they would have respected your response and your boundries.

People see “I surprised So and So with a new (animal) after the lost their (animal)” videos and are so caught up in the “awwwe” that they don’t take into account not everyone is happy when this happens.

Unhappy-Quail-2645 −  NTA. I don’t understand why people that don’t live with ever think it’s acceptable to gift a pet. It’s one thing if you said I would like a new pet right away, but to just go out and do that without even talking to your partner?  I’m so sorry for your loss.

Ipso-Pacto-Facto −  You should ask them if it’s okay when one of them dies, if you bring a date for the surviving spouse to the funeral. Just to meet.

Secret_Sister_Sarah −  NTA and I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved cat. The most painful loss I’ve ever suffered, including the loss of human relatives, was the loss of my childhood best friend kitties, Snoops and Sneaky.

It took me YEARS before I was ready to get cats again, and when I did adopt again, I picked bonded sisters who were 3 years old, because the shelter said they had been there the longest. (And they’re a different breed from my beloved childhood cats – the new girlies are tuxedo, the ones from my past were Maine Coon. The fact that they look nothing alike and have completely different personalities makes it easy to love them without guilt.)

Your parents trying to give you a kitten is like saying your loved one was replaceable, and that f\*cking sucks. It’s cruel and shows an attitude of treating animals as things instead of beings. It’s shallow. It’s also very cruel to the kitten. I thought everyone knows the golden rule: you don’t get an animal as a gift for someone, unless they have specifically asked you to! I hope your parents keep the poor kitten. I hope the kitten doesn’t suffer trauma from this.

If they don’t keep him or her, I hope they find a loving home with someone who promises to take care of the kitty for life! (Abandoning to a shelter is SO traumatizing and I actually hate people who do that, like wtf.) What a s**t show.

R4eth −  Nta. I put down my beloved dog last week. We got him when he was 10 and gave him 4 years of comfort and joy. Wife and I agreed we want another dog, but not right now. I find it very callous of your parents to assume you could cover up the pain of losing your fur baby by immediately replacing it with a kitten.

Maybe they did initially do it out of love and didn’t read the room at first, at which point they could have just apologized and been on their way. But, they keep pushing your boundaries, and that’s plain disrespectful. I’d go so far to go lc with them both until they learn to respect your boundaries and let you and your gf greive in peace.

Apart-Ad-6518 −  Totally NTA. My gf 31F and I 30F recently lost a beloved family member our nearly 20-year-old cat. I’m so profoundly sorry for your loss. ime all you can do in these early heartbreaking days is take it moment by moment, step by step. When I saw the tiny kitten trying to climb out of the litter box, I started crying.

Your parents clearly meant well. But it’s way, way too early to even *think* about another pet. Meanwhile, my gf is worried that she overreacted and lost her composure I can’t shake the feeling that I messed up with my parents. Your gf was trying to protect you as well as manage her own grief. You were also likely still in that place where shock meets deep, tearing grief.

I hope your parents will come to understand in time. They also need to find a loving forever home for the kitten. This internet stranger sends you both love. ime it does start to get easier but it can take a long while.. Punctuation/add sentence

NapalmAxolotl −  NTA. You did not overreact in the slightest. Like wow, WTF. How could their behavior possibly seem okay to anyone?.
1. It had only been 26 hours!!
2. It is never okay to gift someone a pet without asking!. 3. It had only been 26 hours!!
4. Even if it had been a year, this would not be okay.. 5. It had only been 26 hours!!

Jenicillin −  NTA. Don’t try to give a kitten to someone who just lost their dear cat.

kharmatika −  NTA what the hell inspires people to do this to an animal and to you. Send your parents these links and tell them they’re not a part of your life until they understand what they did wrong and apologize in full and find a proper home for the kitten. 

Make sure you get pictures of it being re homed, and make them understand that if they give it to a shelter tell them they’re gone for good. What they did is animal cruelty, because they’ve confused an already pretty early weaned kitten(8 weeks is the bare minimum for adaptability but many experts and bedders recommend 12-14 weeks), carrying it around for hours, putting it in a litter box full of new smells, then potentially depriving it of a better home by taking it in. 

And of course what they did to you and your partner is unacceptable. Make sure you lean on each other to deal with this wave of grief. And make sure your girlfriend knows she did not overreact, your parents were being immensely inconsiderate and she firmly asked them to leave her home, after they emotionally wounded you.

Your dads little baby man feelings getting hurt by him not being allowed to traipse around breaking your boundaries are not her problem. You should also secure an apology and an assurance that under no circumstances will they ever need to be asked twice to leave your home again.