AITA for being disappointed to eat sandwich meat for Thanksgiving?

A Redditor shares their frustration over Thanksgiving dinner after their boyfriend brought home sandwich meat instead of the traditional ham or turkey they asked for. While they tried to express mild disappointment, the conversation escalated into an argument, leaving them wondering if they were wrong to feel let down. Read the full story below to decide for yourself.

‘ AITA for being disappointed to eat sandwich meat for Thanksgiving?’

AITA for being disappointed that I bought all of this stuff to make sides and cassroles for Thanksgiving with just my boyfriend and I, I send him to the store yesterday to get a ham or turkey or some form of meat to smoke which is basically his only job bc he likes to smoke things and I handle almost all the rest.

So all he ending up getting for our main portion of Thanksgiving (the meat is the main, duh) was sandwich meat. Sandwich meat ham and turkey from Publix. Not to mention he never told me that’s what he got instead of a ham or whatever.

So now this morning he tells me that’s what our meat is now that everything is CLOSED today so that’s what we’re having. And don’t get me wrong I’m thankful to have food on the table period and grateful to be able to afford it but like it’s Thanksgiving tradition for us. He asked if I was mad and I said no I’m just disappointed.

Then he starts a whole argument over it and starts screaming at me when HE IS THE ONE that got sandwich meat for Thanksgiving. I’m almost in tears because he kept yelling at me that I made him feel like he ruined the whole Thanksgiving day and that’s not what I said to him at all and I feel like he projected that anger onto me because HE FEELS like he ruined the whole day.

I still have casseroles and sides to eat so it’s not the end of the world for me but who’s in the wrong here?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

rockology_adam −  NTA. This is amazingly weaponized incompetence. The simple fact of that matter is that HE did ruin Thanksgiving. Did he expect that some other meat would magically appear when he bought sandwich meat? Has he never had Thanksgiving dinner before? Did he not know what was expected?

Based on your post, I find that impossible to believe. So, grown man, wants Thanksgiving dinner, gets told to get the meat for it, and gets sandwich meat? That is the defintion of disappointing. He’s wrong for pulling this stunt, and he’s incredibly wrong for getting angry at getting called out for it. He gets a sandwich for dinner. No sides, no casseroles. He gets a dry sandwich and no football.

StAlvis −  NTA. I’m almost in tears because he kept yelling at me that I made him feel like he ruined the whole Thanksgiving day and that’s not what I said to him at all. I mean.. You f**king should.

GuyFromLI747 −  NTA .. umm if he’s screaming at you like that, that’s a red flag .. he ruined it.. he needs to own it .. not to make things worse but why wait until the last minute to get a turkey or a ham? if you have a buffet nearby look into if they are open today.. we used to do that on thanksgiving growing up when my mom had to work.

TheWoman2 −  NTA. I have been married 25 years and never once in that time has my husband screamed at me. Is this really the person you want to be with? The turkey is unimportant. His reaction to a disagreement is a big problem.

Feisty_Bid8008 −  “I feel like he projected that anger onto me because HE FEELS like he ruined the whole day.”. DING DING DING DING DING. It’s called DARVO, and it’s abuse. NTA and I hope you can get out of the relationship. Someone who loves you doesn’t scream at you.

HandBananasRevenge −  NTA. It sounds like he just decided to phone it in this year and tried to turn it back around on you when you called him out on it.  I’m with you that hey, those of us who are fortunate enough to have food on our tables today should be grateful to have anything at all. But, it’s not as if he lacked the understanding of what he was supposed to actually be buying. He just chose not to do it.  Maybe this should be your last Thanksgiving together.  That’s low effort and inconsiderate on his part. 

anglflw −  He should feel like he ruined the whole day, because he, in fact, ruined the whole day.. NTA.

Skylaren −  NTA- this is one of the most egregious cases of weaponized incompetence I have read. The way he reacted to your (well deserved comment and criticism) is a huge red flag. You deserve to be treated better.

Swiss_Miss_77 −  Sounds like he set you up to ruin your holiday, and then when you were understandably disappointed, have an excuse to scream at you to ruin it further. NTA for being disappointed but WHY are you being an AH to yourself by allowing this treatment?

thoracicbunk −  Babe, he’s a**sive. You need to get out. Be honest with yourself, this isn’t the only time he’s overreacted in this kind of way, right? This kind of behavior will only escalate. NTA. Make this the last holiday you spend crying because of him.