AITA for making my son cry?

A Redditor shares a tough family situation where, for financial reasons, they canceled their son’s cherished annual trip to the British Museum—an emotional tradition tied to the memory of his late mother. The decision, influenced by the impending arrival of a new baby with their current wife, led to a heated argument and hurt feelings. Was the decision fair to the son, or did it dismiss his emotional needs? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for making my son cry?’

I (47M) have a son (14M) from a previous marriage to my late wife. She passed two years ago and for my son the wound is still very fresh. My son and her were very close as they look exactly alike and had a lot of the same interest in reading, history, and art. Their favorite place in the world is the British Museum in London.

Their passion project has been redrawing peices from the museum for the last two years before . For the last four years for my wife’s birthday in June and my son’s birthday in December we go to England for a week so they can spend time in the museum. However Since she died, my son and I have continued going for his birthday.

The problem is with my new wife (39F). Shes only been with us on this annual trip once last year and she complained the whole time. Now however, we recently found out we are expecting a child together in May. She raised it to my attention that the money I’ve used for the trip could be better used to be saved for the baby and we could instead do something else for my son’s birthday.

I thought about it and I agreed. I was worried how he’d take it as this is the only thing he wants for his birthday. He dosent ask for gifts or cake, or a party. All he cares about is this goddam museum.

We broke the news to my son yesterday and he flipped out. He was so upset and when my wife tried to tell him why we were saving the money and where the money was going to, he said he didn’t give a damn and we got into an argument about it.He said he was upset because if he didn’t go this year he’d miss the new exhibit he’d been wanting to see, and he accused my wife of doing this on purpose because “she already dosent like me” he said.

I admit I yelled at him and he started crying and for the last 24 hours, he hasn’t spoken to me.. Am I the a**hole?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

crocodilezebramilk −  – Your shiny new wife chose to act worse than a whiny toddler and ruined a trip that we meant for a CHILD, on their birthday, as a memory for his mother. You allowed this woman to make your son feel terrible in his favourite place in the world, on his birthday.

You allowed this woman to take the one thing your child has ever wanted, to shift it over to something that has nothing to do with your son, for his birthday. You yelled at your son for reacting badly to being shoved aside for your new family. You allow your new wife to mistreat your son, not even bothering to raise any question at “she hates me” at all.. Of. Course. YTA.

Terrible_Radio7353 −  YTA in a huge way. By calling it a “goddam museum,” you’re minimizing the importance of this tradition. You’re denying your son a connection he has with his late mother, all in the name of “saving money” for the new baby. Your son feels like you’re abandoning him for this new family. I don’t blame him. You seem like a terrible father.

It seems like you don’t care that your kid lost his mother. Was he ok with you “moving on” with another woman? Lots of men with kids do, because they can’t handle the responsibility of raising kids alone, and it’s almost never ok with the kids. Think about what you’re doing here. It won’t be long before your son leaves you behind and goes no contact. Good thing you have this new backup family right?

Dittoheadforever −  YTA. The problem is with my new wife (39F).  She’s the cartoon villain stepmother in your son’s eyes, but you’re worse for not standing up for your son. Shes only been with us on this annual trip once last year and she complained the whole time… She raised it to my attention that the money I’ve used for the trip could be better used to be saved for the baby.

 What a peach. She will make your son resent your new child as much as he probably resents her. Your son needs this tradition.  He needs this connection with his mom, especially now that you have totally restructured him home with a wedge wielding wife and incoming baby. It is not just “a GD museum” to him. “she already dosent like me” he said..  Is he right? for the last 24 hours, he hasn’t spoken to me. Why should he? You’ve shown him where your allegiance is, and it isn’t with him.

Rohini_rambles −  So in two years, you moved one, got to know her so well, got married? Wass there an affair before your wife died? Were you happy that she died? Do you wish that your son wasn’t around?  Because you know the importance of this trip. You dragged along a woman who seems to hate your son…and is making you hateful towards him too. 

Do you resent the fact that your son is still alive, still sad, amd still needs your love and care? When the new baby comes, are you going to n**lect your son because your witchy new wife feels you should only be a father tto HER child?  You soundd awful. Your new wife is awful.. YTA.

temperedolive −  YTA. Your wife died two years ago. One year ago, you brought your new wife on this trip. So you were remarried within a year of your son’s mother’s d**th? Not just dating, but actually planned and had a wedding? And brought this new wife on his first trip back to the museum since his mother died? And now he can’t go because you’re having a baby. Hope you like the new kid a whole lot because you won’t see much of your first one in the future.

Primary-Criticism929 −  “All he cares about is this goddam museum”. Of course he does. That’s the last connection he has to his mother. YTA. I get wanting to have money for the baby, but you could do both if you planned and saved money.

Accomplished_Two1611 −  Yes, you are. You knew this trip was coming up and yet you started expanding the family without discussing the implications with your son beforehand. Now the new wife, whose primary concern is her child wants that money. Your answer should have been, no, I am not springing that on him now. If you have to drive Uber, wash dumpsters to keep this promise this year, that’s what you do.

Next year, arrange a new, more affordable place with your son’s input. Apologize profusely to your son. And make sure that he knows he isn’t being replaced with the new kid. Get counseling. And make sure your new wife knows that while you love your new child, that you are not going to disturb your son’s life in such a fashion. You are all he has. Either you all pull together as a unit or it will not work. He may not accept her as his mom, but she can’t isolate him. YTA.

ColdstreamCapple −  Yes YTA. Have you thought your son is now looking at this as a new tradition so that the two of you can be closer? Instead you’ve essentially told him your new wife and baby is more important than him and quite frankly it’s a red flag 🚩 your new wife doesn’t have any empathy for him You better hope this new marriage lasts because in years to come I doubt your son will have much to do with you.

ReliefEmotional2639 −  INFO: What museum are you talking about? There are hundreds of, maybe even thousands of museums and art galleries in England. Oh and YTA. Seriously, what the heck is wrong with you and your witch of a new wife?

Davoneous47 −  Emphatically, YTA. You remarried, and took your new wife on their special trip the year after his mother died?!?!? Your son is right, you don’t care, and your new wife sucks too. At least learn from this (how not to parent) with your new kid, cause you’ve got 3-4 years left with your son before he elects to never see you again. And who could blame him?

A Redditor shares a tough family situation where, for financial reasons, they canceled their son’s cherished annual trip to the British Museum—an emotional tradition tied to the memory of his late mother. The decision, influenced by the impending arrival of a new baby with their current wife, led to a heated argument and hurt feelings. Was the decision fair to the son, or did it dismiss his emotional needs? Read the full story below.