AITA for not covering my friend’s birthday bill at a fancy restaurant?

A Reddit user shared a dilemma about refusing to cover part of a friend’s expensive birthday dinner bill at a fancy restaurant. The unexpected request left them feeling humiliated and unsure if they were wrong for prioritizing their budget. Read the full story below to weigh in!

‘ AITA for not covering my friend’s birthday bill at a fancy restaurant?’

One of my close friends, Sarah, recently celebrated her birthday. She sent out an invite to a group of us, saying she wanted to have dinner at her favorite restaurant to celebrate. I was excited because Sarah and I have been friends for years, and I always try to make her birthdays special.

When we arrived, it turned out the “favorite restaurant” was an upscale place I’d never been to before. The menu was shockingly expensive, like, $50 for a basic entrée expensive. I’m currently on a tight budget, so I ordered the cheapest dish and water, thinking I’d just focus on enjoying the company.

At the end of the night, Sarah announced, “Since it’s my birthday, I’m assuming you all don’t mind splitting my bill?” I was taken aback because she hadn’t mentioned this beforehand, and her bill was more than $150! Everyone else awkwardly agreed, but I quietly told her I couldn’t afford to chip in and that I hadn’t planned for this expense.

Sarah was visibly upset and said I was ruining her birthday by “being stingy.” Some of our friends sided with her, saying it’s customary to treat the birthday person. I left feeling humiliated and wondering if I was in the wrong.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Turmeric_Ping −  NTA. If ***friends*** decide to organise a birthday meal for someone, then they may well agree to split the guest-of-honour’s meal, but then they also choose a restaurant they can all afford. This is not the case here. You don’t invite people to celebrate your birthday somewhere expensive then hit them with ***your*** bill. That’s absurd.

Nyaniky −  Nta. Someone feels just a little too entitled. People can’t expect others to pay for them like this.

0wittacious1 −  Sarah’s an ungrateful a**hole.

Hi_Im_Dadbot −  NTA. She chose a fancy restaurant and then wanted you to pay for her? That’s a d**k move. If she’d mentioned it beforehand and gave everyone a chance to say yes or no, that would have been a different matter, but springing the request on you after the bill arrived and making it really socially awkward for someone to say no was douchey of her.

KateNotEdwina −  Happened to me. We were going through a tough couple of years and a close friend of mine was moving away. I told her I couldn’t really afford it so she gave me a twenty and asked me to please join the goodbye dinner. I went and ordered a main and a glass of tap water so I would have enough to pay my share and still contribute to the tip.

When we’re paying two people in the group insisted she shouldn’t pay as the guest of honour. My friend insisted on paying her own way and those two insisted on us all paying for her. I just popped down my 20 and said that’s all I had on me. A few people grumbled that they had to pay more but what could I do?!

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. Sarah invited you all out and then blithely expected you all to pay for her entitled ass?. Uh, no.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 −  NTA. So for Sarah’s birthday she decided to pick her friends. Pockets. It’s just tacky to invite everyone to an expensive dinner party and then spring splitting the bill on everyone.Sarah ruined Sarah’s party by not being transparent. She can’t just expect that everyone would have been okay with the decision, she’s making decisions with other people’s money. Sarah also took OP’s financial problems and made them public fodder. This would be the last time I did anything with Sarah.

mmmmpisghetti −  I invited a friend to dinner at a very fancy restaurant in wanted to try. I PAID. I chose an expensive place and it wasn’t fair to stick anyone else with the bill for it. The gift was her company.

_surprise_adoption_ −  NTA- being tight on money is a reasonable enough excuse to be exempt from such birthday traditions imo. The question is whether or not your friends were aware of your financial situation tbh.

megatronsaurus −  She invited you, planned it, and chose an expensive restaurant. If anything I would have assumed she would be paying for herself or everyone rather than (rudely) ask you all to pay for her.