AITA for Asking My Wife to Wear a Hairnet While Cooking?

A Reddit user shares a dilemma with their wife’s cooking habits. While the user appreciates their wife’s meals, her long hair sheds frequently, often ending up in the food. After casually mentioning it several times with no change, the user eventually asked her to wear a hairnet while cooking, thinking it would be a practical solution.

However, this request upset his wife, who felt embarrassed and accused him of making her feel gross. Now the Redditor is questioning if they are being unreasonable or if their request is justified. Read the full story below to see how others weigh in.

‘ AITA for Asking My Wife to Wear a Hairnet While Cooking?’

So, here’s the situation. My wife loves to cook, and I truly appreciate her meals—they’re delicious. However, her hair keeps getting in the food. It’s long and tends to shed a lot, so it’s almost a guarantee that I’ll find at least one strand in every meal.

I’ve tried to casually mention it a few times, saying stuff like, “Oh, looks like your hair wanted to join dinner,” but it hasn’t made much of a difference. Finally, I decided to ask her to wear a hairnet while cooking. I figured it was a practical solution.

She got really upset, saying it’s embarrassing and that I’m making her feel like she’s gross. That wasn’t my intention—I just don’t love finding hair in my food. She says I’m overreacting and should just deal with it since it’s not that big of a deal.

I think it’s a simple request to improve both of our dining experience. Now I’m second-guessing myself because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t think I’m being unreasonable.. AITA?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

PhilosophyOk7552 −  I can’t read and thought you said “helmet”

Mobile_Following_198 −  NAH. I have long hair (like down to my b**t). I shed a lot. I don’t shed into my food while I cook. Shedding into ALL of the food is highly unusual. She’s either being unhygienic with her hair placement during cooking, or she may have a health condition that is making her shed more or not notice things.

It’s also completely reasonable that you don’t have hair in your food. Alternatively, you can cook, but since she likes to cook, this may be a less desirable alternative.

If she has really long hair, maybe suggest a claw clip or pulling her hair back in a ponytail or something while cooking. It’s a pretty normal thing for most people with long hair to do while they cook, not just for hygiene purposes but also general comfort.

Background_Eye_148 −  I don’t think you’re an AH, I just think your approach was off. You found a problem, and solved it. Your partner who is on your team and part of the issue didn’t even get a say. You should have gone for a more open approach.

Something like, “I really love your cooking, but lately I feel like I often find a hair in my food and I feel like it really ruins dinner for me”. No blame, not telling her what to do, just sharing how you feel.

Then you can hit her with a, “do you think we can do something about this?” As many people already noted, a hairnet is not the first and most attractive option to try, and I totally get why she got angry when you suggested she wear one.. NAH.

nevermind2483 −  I think a ponytail would probably suffice.

SpaTowner −  The trouble is, it probably doesn’t drop from her head into the dinner. It drops from her head throughout the day, landing on her clothes, and *then* it falls in the dinner. I still struggle with this despite always tying my hair up before cooking and wearing an apron.

I’ve been looking for some more jacket style aprons that would cover my clothes, but they are all made for tiny people apparently and I can’t find anything my size at a sensible price. Perhaps you could find her a nice sleeved apron and just not tell her it’s about the hair.

NTA I think it’s gross finding my own hair in my food. Edit: ‘hairnet’ also isn’t a very appealing thing to ask someone wear. I sometimes use surgical style scrub caps because they come in nice colours and prints.

Puzzleheaded_Bee4361 −  She is right – a hairnet would be crappy. A ponytail, on the other hand, would be both cute and practical. Or a ponytail plus a bandana tied as a headscarf.

MommyGandalf −  NTA…well…not quite. I think it would be more reasonable to ask her to put it up (maybe even brush it out first) just in a pony or bun. It’s normal to throw your hair up when cooking for others. I do think a hairnet is a little, well, extra.

KatEyes1990 −  NAH. is it ok that she takes no precautions when she cooks? NOPE. I have very long hair and a lot of it, and I solve it just wearing a bun or braid while cooking. Asking to do something with her hair is ok, but suggesting a hairnet is very insensitive, as if you asked her to wear gloves while cooking… suggests that you’re disgusted by her.

Also, just for you to think about it… since her cooking is so good, is she the person who ALWAYS cook? Did you try cooking yourself? Very often when a person does always a chore becomes invisible for others and goes unappreciated.

MAYBE it can feel like “I put every single day all of this effort, and he just complains about it while being served”, it is NOT a **rational** answer , but an emotional one. I suggest maybe you cook for her, or you cook WITH her.

lydocia −  I’ve tried to casually mention it a few times, saying stuff like, “Oh, looks like your hair wanted to join dinner,” This isn’t “casually mentioning” it, this is making passive-agressive remarks. Use your words and communicate with her. A hair net might be over the top, but pulling her hair back in a ponytail or whatever should be an okay request.

GlassAnemone126 −  A hairnet is something that a cook in a restaurant is required to wear. I think you inadvertently made her feel like you were ordering your cook/employee to put on a hairnet. Soft YTA for the approach to resolving the problem.

Do you think the Redditor’s request for his wife to wear a hairnet while cooking is a reasonable solution, or is he being too critical? How would you address a similar situation if you were in either of their shoes? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!