AITAH for refusing to let my mom’s boyfriend walk me down the aisle?

A 24-year-old bride-to-be is planning her wedding and has decided to walk herself down the aisle to honor her independence and late father. Her mother, however, is pressuring her to let her boyfriend of six years take on the role, claiming he has “earned” it and accusing her daughter of disrespecting their relationship.

Despite their friendly relationship, the bride doesn’t see him as a father figure. Family tensions have escalated, with some relatives siding with the mother, but the bride feels strongly that it’s her wedding and her choice. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for refusing to let my mom’s boyfriend walk me down the aisle?’

I (24F) am getting married next summer, and ever since I started planning the wedding, my mom (48F) has been pushing for her boyfriend (50M) to walk me down the aisle. My dad passed away when I was 10, and my mom started dating her boyfriend about six years ago.

While he’s always been nice to me, I’ve never seen him as a father figure, he came into my life when I was already an adult, and we’re friendly but not particularly close. I told my mom that I plan to walk myself down the aisle as a way to honor my independence and my dad’s memory.

She got really upset, saying her boyfriend has “earned” the spot by being there for me all these years. She even accused me of disrespecting her relationship and trying to “erase” my dad, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Now her boyfriend is avoiding me, and my mom keeps calling me selfish and saying I’m ruining the wedding before it even starts. A few family members are also weighing in, saying I should let him do it to keep the peace. But this is my wedding, and I feel like I should have the final say. AITAH?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Edymnion −  NTA. If anyone is trying to “erase” your dad, its her. You said you’re 24, and this guy came into the picture about 6 years ago, which would have made you 18 at the time. You were an adult. He is literally nothing to you unless you say otherwise.

He didn’t raise you, he’s just your mother’s boyfriend. Not even her husband. Frankly he should be happy to get an invite as anything other than your mother’s +1.

IamIrene −  my mom (48F) has been pushing for her boyfriend (50M) to walk me down the aisle. Your wedding, your rules. I told my mom that I plan to walk myself down the aisle as a way to honor my independence and my dad’s memory.. Your wedding, your rules.

She got really upset, saying her boyfriend has “earned” the spot by being there for me all these years. Attempting to manipulate you to try and appease her boyfriend and/or to save face in front of family.

She even accused me of disrespecting her relationship and trying to “erase” my dad, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Gross. I have to wonder if she is getting pressure from her boyfriend though. Doesn’t excuse her behavior but it might explain why she’s so dead set on it.

A few family members are also weighing in, saying I should let him do it to keep the peace. Your wedding, your rules. You DO have the final say. You are NTA. Everyone trying to pressure you into what they want for themselves…for *your* wedding…most definitely are the TA.

Ok-Horror-1049 −  NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Mom’s BF came into your life when you were 18 years old. And while mom’s guy may have(?) done some stand-up things for you, he didn’t raise you. You have a father. He passed away, he didn’t n**lect or abuse you.

Honoring him in your own way on YOUR day should be respected. Nothing selfish about this on your part, mom and mom BF need to realize your wedding isn’t about them.😡. NTA.

Chi-lan-tro −  NTA – OP have you seen where people have had locket sized pictures of their loved ones tied to their bouquet? That would be a nice way to include your Dad.

That_Old_Cat −  NTA If anything, your Mom should walk you down the aisle, not a man unrelated to you and unmarried to her. You walking yourself is perfectly fine and appropriate!

Pintsize90 −  NTA at all! My dad also passed away before my wedding so my mom and brother walked me down the aisle to honor him. Your mom’s boyfriend has never been a substitute father to you and he’s not even your stepdad!

I wonder if part of the reason your mom is pushing this so hard and her boyfriend is now uncomfortable is because she wishes that they were getting married or had already gotten married. Somehow the symbolism of him stepping into a father role in your wedding will make him want to make it official?

SuperPookypower −  You don’t just get the final say, you get the beginning and middle say and every other variation. You pick who you want in your ceremony. Maybe mom should be thinking about having her own wedding instead of getting so demanding about yours. NTA

EndiWinsi −  NTA Why is it always that people that are pushed too far that they should keep the peace? Your family members should tell your mum to keep the peace, respect your decision and shut up about it.. That would keep the peace!

dragonetta123 −  I got married last month (my second wedding) and me and hubby walked down the aisle together. My dad was in the room and my 14yr old son were in the room and would have both done it if asked. We had a nano wedding, so it didn’t feel right to have someone walk me down the aisle.
It’s up to you what you want to do. NTA

Is the bride justified in her decision, or should she reconsider for the sake of family harmony? what do you think? share your thoughts below!