AITAH for refusing to help my brother pay off his debt after he tried to publicly shame me?

A 19-year-old woman refused her older brother’s request for $3,000 to pay off his credit card debt, as she doesn’t trust him with money due to his poor financial habits. After declining, he lashed out by publicly shaming her on social media, accusing her of being selfish and a bad sister.

Now, some family members are pressuring her to lend him the money to keep the peace. read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for refusing to help my brother pay off his debt after he tried to publicly shame me?’

I (19F) started a new job recently and saved up quite a bit of money over the past year. My family was proud of me, but my older brother (25M) immediately started making comments like, “You’re finally rolling in cash, so I guess you can help your family now.”

He has always been bad with money, mostly from wasting it on gambling and unnecessary purchases. Last week, he asked me for $3,000 to help pay off his credit card debt. He said he needed it to avoid getting into more trouble. I told him no because I’ve seen how he handles money,

and I don’t trust him to use it wisely. He got mad and called me selfish, saying I was being unfair since I don’t have any big expenses right now. It didn’t stop there. A few days later, he went on social media and posted a rant about how I was “hoarding” money while my own family struggled.

He even called me a bad sister for refusing to help. Now some family members are saying I should just lend him the money to avoid more drama, but I don’t think I should have to pay for his mistakes. AITAH?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Habitual-Reject −  NTA because that “loan” that your family mention wouldn’t be a loan would it now? And if your family are so bothered by your brother’s financial situation, they can help him with their money and not yours.

intelligentprince −  A 25 year old man trying to shame his 19 year old sister into “lending “ him money? PS you will never see that money again if you do. Don’t do this OP, it’s going to set up a situation where he constantly hits you up for money, NTA

Cavane42 −  NTA Ever notice how people who say that family should help family are usually *asking* for help, and never offering it?

Trevena_Ice −  INFO: Why haven’t you answered his post with ‘he, if you need money. There is a solution. You could get a job, like I did and work for the money instead of coming to your little sister begging for an allowance (to keep gambling).’

fiestafan73 −  I would respond to his social media post with something like, “No, I am not hoarding money. I am saving money like an adult while you are basically lighting yours on fire and expecting me, a TEENAGER, to put the fire out for you.

Grow the eff up, l**er.” If he’s going to try to publicly shame you, there is no reason you can’t shame him by telling the truth about this situation. NTA.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. I guess you can help your family now . “I’m prepared to offer the same level of help that you’ve always given to me.” Now some family members are saying I should just lend him the money to avoid more drama. He’s causing the drama. If they want to waste their money they can give it to him.

Ok_Historian_646 −  NTA. You tell those family members to cough up the $3,000 for him. He is not your responsibility, and if your brother managed HIS money better, he wouldn’t be begging for YOURS!

ReliefEmotional2639 −  NTA. Tell the next person to tell you to lend him the money that they should pitch in. Because you KNOW that if you give in now, he’ll keep coming back and repeating the same tactics. You will end up working just to support him and his bad habits.

NoDaisy −  NTA. You are not responsible for your brother’s bad choices. If he has a gambling problem, you know you would be throwing that money away and setting a precedent for him to continue to harass you for money. Let him know firmly, that you are not going to bankroll him.

Don’t give in to family pressure because it’s not drama they want to avoid, it’s your brother hitting them up for money. Let it be your families choice to give it to him or not. You said no and it is no one else’s business, so tell them to mind their own.

Used_Mark_7911 −  NTA Reply to post: “Dude, you are 25. I’m 19. I shouldn’t have to financially support you.” Similar reply to the other family members. They are allso welcome to give him money if they feel so bad.

Is she wrong for standing her ground and refusing to enable her brother’s reckless spending habits? Or should she help him despite his actions? what do you think? share your thoughts below!