Update: AITA for refusing to forgive my ex best friend and other friends even after 6 years later?

First, please read my original post: https://aita.pics/XDako
I wanted to edit my previous post, but it’s already too long.

‘ (Update)AITA for refusing to forgive my ex best friend and other friends even after 6 years later?’

Just a quick disclaimer: I created my Facebook account two weeks ago after mustering the courage from my past trauma. I used fake names and ages for anonymity. In reality, we’re all 29. My friendship with Anna fell apart when I was 23, and now, six years later, we’re 29. I know no one has noticed this so far, but I just wanted to clarify.

Some people from my previous post suggested that I reach out to Ethan. However, before I could do so, he reached out to me first. Yesterday, I received a friend request from him, along with a message saying “Hi” in my Messenger. So, we talked. He invited me for a coffee this weekend so we can talk about it, I told him to not push his luck and just answer me.

I asked him about his call that night. Since most boys were too intimidated to approach me, they often asked Anna to convey their feelings to me. Ethan was one of them. Apparently, a lot of boys had a crush on me back then. But at the time, only Anna received open confessions, so I assumed I was undesirable, not that it mattered to me. I was foolishly infatuated with Anna, so much so that I would have rolled out a red carpet for her to walk on if I could. She was my entire world back then.

Not even once have I ever heard about any boys in high school liking me from Anna. Apparently, Anna would always came back to them with her apologetic face, telling them that I had rejected them and repeating the insults I had supposedly said about them.

No wonder some people back in high school called me arrogant and dislike me for some reason. I just thought it was because I was a strict class president and student commitee member. Unlike Anna who was friendly and charming, I was strict, sharp-tongued, and rarely smile. I don’t owe anyone a smile.

Ethan explained that he was mean to me back then because Anna told him I had said he was “an orphan abandoned by his parents.” This was a particularly sensitive topic for him, as he had been raised by his grandparents since childhood. He later discovered the truth when Anna inadvertently admitted it during an argument.

That moment led him to file for divorce. Ethan shared that he genuinely did love Anna, but her constant insecurity and habit of bringing up my name in every argument strained their relationship. She either accused Ethan of still thinking about me or compared him to me.

Anna did found out about Ethan’s drunken call that very same night. They had an argument, and Ethan came close to calling off the wedding, but Anna guilt-tripped him into staying. Neither Ethan nor Anna lied or twisted the story. Anna simply told our entire friend group to stop talking to me. They knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but somehow, it was still my fault that Ethan had unresolved feelings towards me.

I was (and still am) an introvert, and most of my friends back then were hers. It wasn’t surprising that they followed her lead when she turned against me. They were always her friends, not mine. Anna and my ex classmates then painted me as a villain to the other friends from high school. Ethan didn’t do anything to help me because he was manipulated to hate me, his words not mine.

That’s why I changed my number and deleted all my social media accounts. While no one directly bombarded me with mean messages, I constantly saw posts that seemed to be aimed at me, even though my name was never mentioned. Ethan only revealed everything to the other friends after his divorce with Anna was finalized. Now, Anna and my ex-classmates are the ones being shunned by the others since two years ago.

Ethan said he owed me an apology, though he knew it wouldn’t be enough after everything that happened. While he never smeared my name, he stood on the sidelines and did nothing simply because I “rejected” him and called him an “abandoned orphan” during high school. He asked me if I will be going to the upcoming reunion party.

Turns out the reunion party this time was for the 1995 high school batch. My ex-classmates probably wanted their former class president to attend for appearances. I told him I won’t go. He said I can sit with him and his ex-classmates if I wanted to. Why would I? Brother eugh. I told him I wouldn’t be attending because I have no friends from high school. He mentioned that the others would be sad if they heard I said that. Well, s**ew them.
I received a lot more messages from old friends but I didn’t respond to any of them. I have no attachment towards them.

I told Anna that Ethan already told me everything. She called me on Messenger again, sobbing. She admitted she might have been a terrible friend, but that she did care about me. All those years, I was always on her mind. I was too attached to her back then because she was my first real friend, as I had no friends in middle school. I was too shy and quiet so I couldn’t make friends. Anna taught me how to make friends and overcome my social anxiety, and introduce a lot of people to me.

I learned to cook for her and took care of her when she was sick. I even protected her from creeps. Everything I did was for her. Now that I think about it, it was kind of unhealthy. Maybe she wanted me to be that version of myself again, only for her convenience. She begged me to try again.

That she would be a better person for me. But I just ended the call and blocked her. After a few minutes of contemplating, I decided to delete my facebook account again. I have a feeling that if I didn’t, they will keep on bothering me. 😅 I’ll settle with a fake account. The main reason why I made my facebook account is to play Harvest Town anyway. 🤣

Sorry for the long post. This will be my one and only update. I want to thank the four people who personally messaged me on Reddit. Your messages meant a lot, as not many people have done so much for me in my life. I hope my update answered your questions. Farewell. 🙋‍♀️

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

AnemoSpecter −  She begged me to try again. That she would be a better person for me. Why does Anna sounds like she was your ex 💀

dollkittyrgh −  You didn’t just dodge a bullet; you dodged an entire toxic arsenal. Ethan owed you that apology, but the others? They’re just trying to make themselves feel better now that the truth is out. Blocking Anna and logging out of that mess is self-care 101. Enjoy your Harvest Town peace—sounds way better than revisiting a high school drama reboot.

horny_rebels −  It’s brave of you to confront your past. You’re not obligated to forgive anyone. Prioritize your own peace and build healthy relationships moving forward.

Driftwood256 −  Sorry to hear that all your old “friends” were such s**tty people… I’m stunned that they were 23, this is high school behavior… Sounds pretty traumatic to be ghosted by everyone like that, gees… But definitely sounds like a silver lining that you broke the weird dependant relationship you had on Anna… Smart move deleting your account, totally unnecessary to have that constant reminder…. Hope the future is brighter for you!. NTA obviously…

No-Rooster-6030 −  ha toxic friendship it’s happens sometimes but this two are too much drama in your life, and s**ew Anna little sycophants.

isaidwhatisaidok −  This sounds like someone’s revenge fantasy.

Monday0987 −  Lol. Often these post updates are where it becomes clear the first post was b**lshit.

Educational_Gas_92 −  Hi op, glad to see you are doing OK, and happy to see what many people suspected was right. The only strange thing about this is why is anyone interested in a long lost high-school classmate while nearing 30, I mean, it makes sense if they live in a small town and people simply stumble on each other all the time, but otherwise?

It’s not that strange that they reached out, but once you made it clear that you aren’t interested they should just move on. Anyway, good luck op and keep toxic and fake people away.

Conscious-Ad-4490 −  I don’t understand why you and your other classmates are invited to the Class of 1995 reunion? If that’s the year you all graduated then that would mean y’all close to 47-48 years old, not 30.

Temporary_Alfalfa686 −  Damn. Basically you told her Ethan told you the truth, including how you insulted others and she says she was terrible but let’s be friends? Good job op, f**k no.