AITAH for pointing out all her children are disappointments?

Soooo before I start I just want to say I genuinely appreciate everything my mom has done for my siblings and I. She has a bunch of trauma from coming to this country nearly 40 years ago. We currently live together to save on rent so she can return to her country in a few years to retire.

Recently I (30) had to deal with my tween’s(12) moody behavior. I believe in the gentle parenting method with a sprinkle of “I can go old school if you need me to”. I have a great kid so far… kid does well in school, is respectful, and helps around the house. Recently my child had a bit of a melt down during dinner where they dragged the chair with a lil extra anger and my mom Yelled.

I pulled my kid to the side and corrected the behavior saying its ok to feel anger and whole lot of emotions but not to act that way. my kid decided they weren’t hungry and went straight to bed. I allowed it but took away the phone because I didn’t want them thinking they got away with bad behavior.

After that, I went back outsite and my mom started yelling at me for being so soft and allowing myself and her to be disrespect and that I’m spoiling my child and if I keep allowing this behavior ,who knows what will become of my kid…

We were raised VERY old school to the point we had a case opened when I was younger. I reminded her one of her kids has been constantly suspended for fights from elementary n middle school and arrested 5 different times. And the other one(me) had a teen pregnancy so maybe her parenting method wasn’t as great either. She was speechless and started crying..

Now I feel like an AH, but how do i stand my ground on a method i believe is working because tween me would’ve done way worse that drag a chair.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

ComprehensivePut5569 −  NTA – The truth often hurts and your mom couldn’t handle hearing the truth.

Agreeable-Inside-632 −  She gave you an unsolicited opinion and you gave her one in return. If you’re going to dish it, you better be ready to receive it. She opened up the floor when she started criticizing your parenting. The truth hurts.

PuzzleheadedTap4484 −  My husband and I raise our kids like you are. My in-laws are like your mom. It’s a constant battle. My SIL is the same, thinks we are too soft, and I told her people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones given how her brood has turned out. NTA. Mom needed a reminder of how well her methods worked.

Spotzie27 −  NTA But calling yourself a disappointment seems way harsh…

globaltrekker1 −  NTA. You do you, and as long as your kids aren’t AHs all’s good.

Able_Vegetable_4362 −  NTA the title made me burst laughing though. Good on you for calling out the h**ocrite. She should not be acting like an expert on parenting if she messed up that bad.

VeilLace −  NTA, you’re breaking generational cycles and teaching emotional regulation. Your mom’s methods weren’t perfect either. Keep doing what works for your kid.

dollvelveto −  you did what you thought was best for your kid and that matters. its tough becuase generational methods can clash. your mom seems to be struggling with her own past as well. it’s okay to have convesations about diff parenting styles without tearing each other down.

TwilightLom −  NTA, standing up for your parenting style is crucial. I’ve faced similar challenges too.

Atalanta8 −  Your kid pulled a chair in anger. I’m so confused how this is even bad behavior. Your mom yelled. That’s bad behavior.