AITA for refusing to forgive my ex best friend and other friends even after 6 years later?

A Reddit user shared their emotional journey of betrayal and abandonment by their best friend and social circle over unfounded accusations six years ago. After being ghosted, blocked, and publicly ridiculed, they rebuilt their life and moved on.

Now, the ex-best friend is apologizing and asking for forgiveness after divorcing the man who caused the rift. But the user feels indifferent and refuses to rekindle old ties. Are they wrong for standing their ground? Read the full story below to decide.

‘ AITA for refusing to forgive my ex best friend and other friends even after 6 years later?’

The article has the next update at the end.

I, (28F) used to be best friends with Anna (28F) since high school. She was popular and outgoing, while I was the introverted “nerdy” friend. In high school, I had a crush on Ethan (28M), but I assumed he’d prefer Anna, so I stayed out of it. They started dating, and I supported her with reluctance because of their toxic, on-and-off relationship. Over time, I grew to dislike Ethan because he was rude and mean.

They broke up when we were 21, but got back together with him a year later and eventually got engaged at 23. Three months before the wedding, Ethan drunkenly called me, asking why I rejected him. I dismissed him and said he was drunk and ended the call. The very next day, I was kicked out of group chats and ghosted by everyone else in our friend circle.

When I texted my friends to ask what happened, they gave me the silent treatment. When I reached out to Anna, I found myself blocked. Desperate, I even tried calling Ethan, but my number was blocked too. I had no idea what I’d done wrong and I wished anyone would tell me.

That week was hell. Anna’s silence hurt the most because, at the time, she meant everything to me. I barely slept, battling panic attacks at night while trying to keep it together for class during the day. If not for my supportive roommates who helped me through my panic attacks, I don’t know how I would have made it through.

Anna and I attended the same local university but took different courses. I waited for her outside her class. When she came out with her friends, I pulled her aside and asked what was going on. She accused me of being a fake friend who tried to steal Ethan. I denied her accusation and asked for proof, but she went silent and left.

They didn’t unfriend me on Facebook, but kept posting about their hangouts and the bridal shower, along with indirect jabs at me. I eventually deleted my old account, and changed my number. I slowly rebuilt my self-esteem and moved on.

I recently created a new Facebook account. A few days ago, I was added to a group chat for our upcoming reunion, which I had no idea about. They greeted me, calling me “class president” as if they hadn’t shunned me six years ago. I left the group, but they messaging me.

Anna kept calling, so I finally picked up out of annoyance. She told me that she was sorry for everything and wished for me to come to the class reunion party. The party didn’t seem to be complete without the class president every year.

She told me that she divorced Ethan after two years of marriage. She tried to reach out to me but couldn’t find any of my socials or contact info after we graduated. I asked her why she was telling me all this when she was not important to me anymore. She cried. I ended the call and continued ignoring their messages on Messenger.

My family says forgiveness is for my own peace and that it doesn’t mean forgetting. But I don’t feel anything anymore, only indifference. I don’t owe them anything to ease their guilt. So, AITA?
Update: https://aita.pics/HxyIk

See what others had to share with OP:

ProfPlumDidIt −  Three months before the wedding, Ethan drunkenly called me, asking why I rejected him.. You know what happened, right? Ethan wanted to date you but Anna told him you rejected his interest so he’d date her and him calling you made her feel threatened that her shady actions might be found out so she then made up more lies that turned other friends against you.

Now it’s been long enough, and Ethan is no longer around, that she feels “safe” bringing you around again so she hit you up. Odds are others told her to reach out because y’all were such good friends and, if you refuse to go, she’ll tell them something that makes you look bad as your reason.

Regardless of whether you go or not, I’d contact someone who will be there and tell them that you won’t attend because of the horrible way Anna treated you and that you just wanted someone to know the truth so that Anna can’t lie about you yet again. Don’t go if you don’t want to, but don’t let her get away with lying about you again.

Ok-Season5497 −  If I was you I’d steer clear. The fact that you said you had to rebuild yourself says alot. For being such “good friends” they sure abandoned you without even trying to see your side. They are either all dumb as f**k or not worth another thought.

RaymondBeaumont −  “Forgiveness if for my own peace” is such a b**lshit take. You know why they blocked you. Ethan flipped the script and said you contacted him and tried to get him to leave her for you.. Block them.

Character-Dinner7123 −  ” sorry Anna, I will always think of you as a back stabbing bit$h”. Then live a great life.

iknowsomethings2 −  It sounds like Ethan liked you and Anna lied to him to steal him by saying you didn’t like him. Then he obviously still had feelings for you and tried talking about it drunk three months before the wedding, Anna saw you as a threat to her lies and her fiancé and cut you out instead.

Tell her ‘I don’t owe you anything, your apology is 6 years too late, you and your friends mean nothing to me. Like I clearly meant nothing to you. If you continue to reach out to me I will contact the police’. You don’t owe her forgiveness. You can move on without forgiving her or any of them. If you want clarity, I would reach out to Ethan, find out why she cut you off for 6 months.

riddledad −  NTA. I would simply say, “Thank you for the apology. I hope you understand why now, 6 years after the fact, I can’t just be friends with you again.” and leave it at that.

Winternin −  NTA. It’s completely up to you and in this case since you decided to not forgive, they should move on. What they did was terrible and it’s very reasonable that they are not forgiven.

EmbarrassedEchidna64 −  NTA – sounds like this is still pretty raw. You’re not ready to forgive them. You may never be ready. A fake forgiveness won’t give you peace. When you find peace, you may be able to forgive them.

Material_Cellist4133 −  NTA. But I’m sure she ghosted you because she found out that Ethan was in love with you…hence his r**ection call… I’m pretty sure ethan told her to send a message to you, and she pretended she did and you rejected him. And then she got with him….

CaperGirl84 −  NTA. If someone can drop you that quick and for no obvious reasons, then they weren’t as committed to the friendship as you were. You don’t have to forgive or forget.