AITA for refusing to forgive my ex best friend and other friends even after 6 years later?

In a tale of lost trust and lingering hurt, a 28-year-old woman recounts the painful dissolution of a once-close friendship that unraveled over a misunderstanding in high school and the fallout that followed. Once best friends with Anna and part of a tight-knit group, she was abruptly ostracized after a fateful call that led to ghosting and public shaming.

Six years later, with scars still fresh, Anna reaches out in apology—but the wounds have hardened into indifference. Now, she wonders if she’s wrong for refusing to forgive those who wronged her, even after so much time has passed.

‘AITA for refusing to forgive my ex best friend and other friends even after 6 years later?’

Relationship and emotional wellness expert Dr. John Gottman explains that forgiveness is a deeply personal journey and not an obligatory act. “Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from the continuous cycle of pain,” he notes .

In this case, the narrator’s refusal to forgive after six years reflects a boundary she’s set to protect her emotional well-being. While many advocate for forgiveness as a pathway to inner peace, experts agree that it should never come at the cost of reengaging with individuals who have caused profound harm.

Instead, what’s essential is developing a sense of detachment—a healthy indifference that allows one to move forward without the burden of unhealed wounds. Her decision to remain distant, rather than seeking reconciliation, can be seen as an act of self-care, preserving the hard-earned resilience she has built over the years.

Update: https://aita.pics/HxyIk

See what others had to share with OP:

Many sympathize with her, arguing that if past betrayals continue to haunt you, forcing forgiveness isn’t the answer. Others believe that forgiving—even if it means letting go without re-establishing contact—is key to personal healing. The prevailing sentiment seems to be that while forgiveness might be ideal in theory, it isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, and sometimes, indifference is a valid, protective response.