AITA My husband is better than my bf’s husband?

A Reddit user shares a story about their husband, Tim, going out of his way to help their best friend, Kate, who is seven months pregnant and struggling at home due to her husband’s, Bert’s, lack of support. When Tim brought Kate her favorite tacos and some other thoughtful items, Bert accused him of “showing him up” and called to insult him. Tim responded by criticizing Bert’s behavior, leading to a heated argument. Now, the user is left wondering if her husband overstepped or if he was simply being kind. Read the full story below to decide for yourself.

‘ AITA My husband is better than my bf’s husband?’

The article has the next update at the end.

I’m writing this post because my best friend’s (Kate) husband (Bert) called my husband (Tim) an a**hole. I have historically kept my opinion of Bert’s behavior to a minimum on the grounds that good friends say their piece once and then love each other through s**t relationships. But I’m asking internet strangers to be the judge.

I am traveling for work. Kate is stuck at home (working) at 7 months pregnant on modified bedrest. Generally during the week I drop over once or twice to bring her family some dinner (Tim cooks extra portions once a week to share), cheer her up, read her oldest a couple of bedtime stories so that mom can go to bed early and get some sleep.

Bert works an office job. Stressful, I’m sure, but during her pregnancy he’s been working longer and longer hours (salaried, not overtime). She’s been sad and a bit lonely. Yes, I’ve suggested counseling. With that for background, this evening she and I were texting – it was about 6ish – and she got a craving for a taco place near my house and, importantly, near Bert’s office.

She says she asked him to grab her some on his way home. He says he’s not stopping. He’s got work at home and she should just door dash something close. This makes her extremely sad (she’s says irrationally sad, but you be the judge) because he used to surprise her with her favorite tacos and now he can’t be bothered.

As one does, I tell Tim. I’m 3 states away, so it was just part of our chat as I was getting back to the hotel and getting ready for a work dinner. I get back from dinner and Tim had gone and picked her up tacos, remembered the bag of things I’d collected for her and the kid that were in my car, and pulled a tuna casserole from the freezer (Bert hates tuna casserole). He dropped them off on the porch and just texted her that there were some things I wanted her to have.

Then Bert gets home. Did he bring tacos, coloring books or a good attitude? No he did not. He called Tim to tell him that he was an a**hole for “showing him up.” Other colorful language was also used including some fairly sexist nonsense. He also texted me telling me to keep my husband away from his wife.

Tim did respond rudely when Bert called. Kate says he told Bert he was a failure as a human, a man, a father and a husband. Apparently that caused Bert to scream expletives so loud their daughter started to cry. Not good. Tim then hung up on Bert, blocked him, and texted Kate that if she needed someone in an emergency she knew where to call but he wasn’t putting up with her “s**t husband” any longer.

It’s a giant cluster and I have no idea what’s going to happen. My husband feels bad things escalated so much, particularly since their daughter was crying. He feels like an a**hole at the moment. Obviously Bert thinks he’s an a**hole. I think he’s a sweet man.. What do you guys think?

Next update: https://aita.pics/yoUiL

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

infernoxv −  i have to say initially read the title as ‘my husband is better than my boyfriend’s husband’ and was very confused… 🤣

NerdySwampWitch40 −  NTA. Bert is the only a**hole in this situation. Also, $5 says Bert didn’t want to stop for tacos because Bert has not been “staying late at the office” and he was nowhere near the good taco place.
Bert is getting shown up because Bert isn’t even phoning in being a supportive partner and husband. He’s sending a brain-damaged carrier pigeon.

Kate needs to rethink if this is what she wants for her and her kids’ long-term. Is this the model of a relationship she wants them to see. An angry a**hole who ignores an easy request from his pregnant partner and then goes off when a friend helps?

TickityTickityBoom −  Bert is s**t, Kate needs to address this. However, I think Bert wasn’t at his office near the Taco place. Has he lost his job or having an affair?. NTA.

Cranky70something −  Bert’s a j**k and everyone else is great, especially Tim. I hope that at some point after she has had her baby, Kate is going to realize that Bert is dead weight and d**p his sorry ass. I bet that Tim and you think that can’t happen quickly enough.

THEFALLENSAINT99 −  Bert clearly has a TON of insecurities. It does sound like your husband said some things out of anger that only serves to cause hurt though. Id be willing to bet that Bert is having some sort of affair, or possibly considering it, cause him telling you to keep your husband away from his wife and seeing it as being “shown up” rather than a kind act from a friend screams projection.

BabyLedEnlightenment −  NTA. Bert is the AH. He was too tired to get the tacos. His wife’s best friend asked her husband to get them and he did. He should have been happy she got the tacos and he didn’t have to go get them and said thank you while being grateful his family has such wonderful support in their lives. Instead, his insecure self got angry and made it about himself. I’m glad Kate has you guys in her life for when she becomes a single mom.

Organic-Mix-9422 −  HER husband is a huge insecure, n**ty petty, possibly cheating d**khead.. YOUR husband is amazing.

cats_just_in_space19 −  Staying late while a pregnant wife at home…. He’s cheating.

language_timothy −  Tim = green flag man. Bert = red flag man. I really hope you can still remain friends with your bff after this but I suspect the g**lighting and projection from Bert will continue 😢. He doesn’t sound like the sort who can be reasoned with, even though this is what should be happening. I hope I’m wrong for your friend’s sake and that he will apologize for being an AH whilst stressed out and that he could have dealt with the situation better. I very much doubt this will happen though.😔

jscarlet −  NTA. Bert refused Kates request. He said he was too busy for any family obligations. That sets the bar incredibly low for anybody to show him up. To be salaried and be a slave to your job that you have to leave the office x go home and get straight to work… sounds kinda sus(as the kids would say). People need to eat, people need to poop. Is he not at the office and rushing home to now catch up on work?

The dude couldn’t take 5 minutes to pullover and grab the food that Kate could’ve called for pickup? Don’t ignore your husband and provider duties and then be pissed off when someone treats your WIFE, the person you pledged to love and cherish in sickness and in health till d**th do you part, as a respected human being. She’s making humans in her belly! You can’t get her a f***ing taco?! Bert is a failure as a human.