AITA for refusing to switch seats with my (25F) brothers (27M) girlfriend?

A woman (25F) moved to a new country and tries to visit her brother (27M) regularly. During a recent trip, they attended an event together, but when it came to seating, her brother’s girlfriend (26F) wanted to sit with him, leaving the woman to sit with strangers. She refused to switch seats, arguing that she wanted to sit with her brother. This caused tension between her and her brother’s girlfriend. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for refusing to switch seats with my (25F) brothers (27M) girlfriend?’

Ok, so bear with me, it’s my first time posting here and English is not my native language, I’ll try to include all the important information but please excuse any mistakes. First, some context that I think it’s important. I (25F) moved recently to a new country really really far from home, with a new language and everything.

I know nearly no one here except for my brother (27M), he’s been away for almost 10 year and we’ve only seen each other maybe 4 times since he left. He now lives 4 hours away from where I’m currently staying and I try to visit him once a month for a weekend.

He has a girlfriend (26F who I’ll refer from now on as SIL), they’ve been together for a little bit more than a year and live together. I haven’t had any issues with her but I’ve noticed that she is kind of jealous?? (She once got really angry with my brother because he accidentally called me sweetheart, which is how he usually refers to her), I don’t know but I think this is important later.

Now, to the actual situation. I visited this past weekend, and there was this event my brother wanted to take me. 5 tickets were needed, for my brother, me, SIL, and two friends of SIL,

my brother got 2 tickets as a gift from his boss, so only 3 tickets were needed to be bought, but when he tried to buy them next to the gifted tickets there was no place so SIL friends bought 3 tickets in another zone, supposedly a better zone than the gifted tickets(the places where numbered).

When I spoke with my brother about the seating arrangement he said that we would figure it out but that we (he and I) would be seating together, since the 2 strangers were SIL friends. That was really important for me since I’m not very social and even less in this new language, and also I travel to visit my brother so that’s the only person I care to spend time with.

The day before the event my brother tells me that I’ll have to sit with SIL friends because SIL wants to sit with him. I proposed different solutions (changing the tickets with SIL friends for example) but the only option that would leave SIL satisfied was she sitting with my brother alone and me being seated with these two strangers I know nothing about.

This turned into a hugeeeee argument between all of us because my brother wanted to do what SIL wanted to avoid fighting with her, but I stood on my ground and told him that if that was the sitting arrangement then I preferred staying at home while they went to the event (which is true).

Eventually he got her to accept and I ended up being seated with my brother while SIL seated with her friends, but now she is angry at me. Was I the a**hole? This is really bothering me because I’ve only been around for a short time and this already happened with her and I want to have a good relationship with my brother, specially since he is my only family here.

Check out how the community responded:

edebby −  NTA. SIL’s friends are there only because of SIL, right? the original plan was for you three to sit together, then her friends were added to the plate, and no she feels you would babysit her friends and won’t sit with the only person you actually know there?

Professional-Win-532 −  Why didn’t you, your brother and SIL sit together in the 3 seats, and let the two friends sit in the original seats gifted by the boss?

Sputtrosa −  NTA. I don’t understand why she’d invite two friends and then leave them with a stranger (you) so she can sit with her boyfriend. As you say, there seems to be an issue with jealousy here. It shouldn’t be up to you to make a stand, but it is what it is. Talk to your brother, and try to befriend SIL. If he’s four hours away, it’s not like you’ll be seeing him a lot, but siblings are the kind of relationships where it’s important to work through these things.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Under different circumstances it might have been reasonable for your brother and gf to sit together but in this case, you were visiting and they were hosting you. You would not be able to communicate much with the people they wanted to sit you with. So your request was reasonable.

The problem is, it does you no good to be right. It was good for one event but now you have an annoyed person to deal with. If she and your brother stay together you’ll likely benefit from trying to move past it and befriending her. The less said about the seating thing the better.

DoublePeach7289 −  NTA. The girlfriend is just childish and insecure, and if u let her walk all over u once she’ll be entitled always, good for u for standing your ground and she seriously needs to grow up, that’s your brother tf is she jealous about ew

InformalCry147 −  NTA. Seems strange she would try isolate you with her friends which makes me think it was completely intentional. Sounds to me like she is irrational, insecure and narcissistic. I hope your brother knows what he is doing being involved with her.. BTW, your English is great.

Dittoheadforever −  You’re NTA. SIL sounds incredibly insecure and c**ngy. Good luck to your brother dealing with that for the duration of this relationship. 

FeuRougeManor −  Nta. Your brother invited you. Your SIL wanted to tag along and then take over. She has an issue that she needs to work out.

ArmyPatate −  NTA and your brother has to grow a spine.

Freeverse711 −  NTA. SIL was being a b**t. Why in the actual world would she think it’s okay to place you with two random people you have never met? They aren’t your friends. They’re hers. And if she wanted to stay with your brother, she should have went with your suggestion and you, SIL and your brother should have sat in the three seats together and the two friends in the other two seats. SIL sounds needy and entitled.

Do you think the woman was justified in refusing to switch seats with her brother’s girlfriend, or should she have compromised to avoid the conflict? How would you handle a similar situation where you wanted to spend time with your sibling but felt uncomfortable with the seating arrangement? Share your thoughts below!