WIBTA for keeping my toddler from her grandparents because they refuse to take action against my uncle?

A concerned mother is contemplating keeping her toddler away from her parents due to escalating, threatening behavior from her uncle, which has targeted her parents for years.

Despite her efforts to help them obtain a Personal Protection Order (PPO) and provide evidence through doorbell cameras, her parents refuse to involve the police or take legal action. Fearing for her child’s safety, she has decided not to let her daughter stay with them until they take steps to protect themselves and others. Read her full story below.

‘ WIBTA for keeping my toddler from her grandparents because they refuse to take action against my uncle?’

Me (38) and my husband (33) have a 2 and a half year old child. We both work full time and one day a week my toddler goes to my parents, the rest of the time she is in child care. This has been going on for over 2 years and my toddler has a great relationship with my parents.

15 years ago my grandmother died and there was some contention about the will. At the time my uncles were basically all trying to sue each other for anything possible. Over the years the estate has basically been worn down to nothing due to legal fees.

One uncle has acted especially crazy during this time. Writing and hand delivering threatening letters, stalking the rest of the family at Christmas and at one point slamming open my front door and screaming at me , most of this behavior has been directed at my parents and one other of my uncles.

Over the years I have encouraged my parents to report these incidences to the police and they have refused. (costs nothing to make a police report). These behaviors often ebb and flow around court dates or anniversaries, sometimes there is no contact for months and some weeks will be everyday.

Recently as a court date is coming up, the uncles behavior has escalated. He is often sleeping in his car outside houses, been screaming at my parents front door and was pouring round up on pot plants at my uncles house as well as contacting my ex husband.

I am worried that he has become unhinged as his behavior is escalating and he has no one and nothing left. I have done the research into what needs to be done including talking to the police to try to protect myself and my family.

The police told me that based on his behavior my parents could take out a personal protection order (PPO) against him, all they would need is police reports or evidence of this behavior. I have installed ring doorbells at my parents place to start to gather video evidence, I already have one at mine.

I have sent my parents information to get an PPO against my uncle and information about trespassing. I sat down with them and asked them to make police reports for any future events. My father refused and said he doesn’t want to – no reason given.

And my mother expressed that she didn’t want to spend the money to serve him with the PPO if granted (less than $200). I said I don’t want my child at their place until something is in place to protect them. My dad responded that I better put my child in for an extra day of care and I walked out.

I am now fully intending to either wear the cost of the extra day of care or use leave to cover the extra day until either a PPO is in place which may take months or years if they continue with their inaction. Other people have told me I am overreacting. WIBTA to follow through on my threat to not take my child to their house until they take action on my uncle.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Aggravating-Item9162 −  YWNBTA. You’re just looking at for your child. You’re doing exactly what a parent is supposed to be doing (unlike your own parents).

Tricky-Development98 −  NTA – sounds like your uncle isn’t a safe person and your parents don’t realize how dangerous he really is. Your child deserves to be safe.

ThatWhichLurks782 −  YWNBTA for keeping your child safe.

East_Parking8340 −  Surely, if your child is specifically included in the PPO and she is at your parents his approaching would breach it (you’d have the ring doorbell evidence) and he would be dealt with by the police once you provided the evidence?

Stunning_Cupcake_260 −  I guess your parents won’t be babysitting anymore. I hope you told them this.

Tiny_Incident_2876 −  Best to be safe than sorry, your child deserves to be around people who care about the well-being

Tinkerpro −  Sounds like kid will be in daycare 5 days a week and if your parent want to see said kid, they will be coming to your house or meeting at the park.

Grandmapatty64 −  Other people can tell you you’re overreacting, but if he busts in and hurts your parents in front of the baby or hurts the baby, God forbid, it’s too late then. Keep your child safe. If your parents aren’t sensible enough to do anything about him then I guess they don’t see their grandchild.

Zestyclose_Gur_8889 −  NTA. Your parents aren’t going to do a thing, so I would take your father’s words to heart. Plan on paying for an extra day of day care until your child starts school.

SkyComplex2625 −  NAH – you gave them an ultimatum and they accepted it.

Do you think the mother is justified in prioritizing her child’s safety over her parents’ wishes, or is she overreacting by withholding visits until they take action? How would you handle a similar situation involving family safety? Share your thoughts below!