AITA for agreeing to wear my MIL’s wedding dress for my wedding?

A Redditor (26F) is set to marry her fiancé (34M) in three months, but her plans to wear her stepmom’s wedding dress fell apart when her pregnancy made the dress unwearable. While venting to her future mother-in-law (MIL), the MIL offered her own wedding dress—a beautiful vintage piece with sentimental value—and the user happily accepted.

However, the decision sparked outrage from her sister-in-law (SIL), who felt entitled to the dress and has since lashed out publicly. The user now questions if she was wrong to accept the dress. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for agreeing to wear my MIL’s wedding dress for my wedding?’

So, I (26F) am getting married in three months to my fiancé (34M). It’s going to be a small ceremony at my grandparents’ house. I know it’s kinda late to be talking about dresses, but I was originally planning to wear my stepmom’s wedding dress. It’s a beautiful dress that I love, and it means a lot to me because she’s the one who raised me and loved me when my bio mom didn’t want me.

But here’s the thing: while planning the wedding, I got pregnant. I’m three months along now, so I’ll be six months pregnant at the wedding. The dress from my stepmom is tight-fitting and there’s no way it’s going to fit a six-month baby bump. I was devastated, not because I’d have to buy a new dress, but because I really wanted that special mother-daughter bond on my wedding day.

Last weekend, I was venting about it to my MIL, and I broke down crying. She then said she’d be honored if I wore her wedding dress. She showed it to me, and it’s a stunning vintage dress from the ‘70s with a boho/hippie vibe, gorgeous embroidery, and funnily enough, she was pregnant when she wore it too. She made me feel so loved and welcome, so I accepted.

The issue is, my MIL has a daughter (my SIL), and when she found out I got the dress, she was furious. She actually came over to my house trying to take the dress back, and even said I was “living in sin” for getting pregnant before marriage (??). My fiancé just kicked her out and told me not to worry since she’s always thought the dress was u**y and never wanted it.

Still, she and my FIL have been harassing me on social media and through messages. Even though my fiancé and MIL don’t care what my SIL thinks, I kinda feel like a j**k because if my mom did something like this, I’d probably feel a bit hurt too. So, AITA?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

freerange_chicken −  NTA. SIL can feel some kind of way about you wearing the dress, but her behavior is out of line. It’s sweet that your MIL offered you the dress. I love that for you!

In my view, SIL could view eventually also wearing the dress as something special you share instead of reacting like this. My mom and her two stepsisters all wore the same vintage (read: hand-me-down) dress and they cherished it!

Logical_Read9153 −  Its your MIL dress she gets to decide you wears it. End of story. NTA

Fit-Challenge-1828 −  NTA. Though I understand the outrage over your mom letting someone else wear her wedding dress before you, her own daughter. However, that is an issue between your SIL and MIL. SIL should not have harassed you because it was MIL who decided that and you simply accepted.

Common-Dream560 −  Kinda of ironic that her own mother wore it while pregnant but she’s bashing you for doing the same. NTA and block SIL – MIL is the only one that matters here.

Hari_om_tat_sat −  NTA. _At most_, I’d defer to MIL. Tell her SIL is upset over you wearing the dress and wants it back. Offer to return it to MIL if she agrees with SIL. You’ll have taken SIL’s feelings into consideration, after that it’s between SIL & her mother.

Rosespetetal −  I suggest after giving birth. Not right away but when you feel better, take a photo of you in your step mother ‘s dress. If it is still OK with her love Congratulations. SILS can be jealous.

TheDrunkScientist −  NTA. Your MIL chose to let you wear the dress. It’s her decision. Block FIL and SIL. They don’t get a say in this.

esmerelofchaos −  Definitely NTA. Your fiancé is clearly used to his sister’s shenanigans. SIL’s beef should be with her mom. But it’s not because she likely knows it’ll get nowhere

Mediocre-Victory-565 −  NTA – It’s MIL’s dress to do with what she wants. I understand SIL being hurt but that’s a convo between her and her mother, you have nothing to do with that situation.

swillshop −  NTA at all. If you want, let your FMIL know that SIL has made it clear that she wants the dress and that you had no idea how much of an issue this is for her. Let your FMIL respond – you may learn a lot.

1. FMIL might tell you that her daughter had previously rejected the dress or always made fun of how it looked. (Then you know this is more about SIL not wanting you to have something more than about her actually wanting it for herself.)

2. FMIL might tell you that she knows and regrets how this hurts her daughter but she didn’t want to hurt you either. (Then you can decide if you want to offer it back to her to save for her daughter to use.)

3. FMIL might tell you that she knows and (for whatever reasons) still wants very much for you to wear the dress. (This might relieve your guilt.) By starting a conversation where FMIL can let you know her perspective, you don’t have to offer/give up anything unnecessarily, nor do you have to carry guilt unnecessarily. The SIL’s behavior makes her TA, so do what’s best for you and for your FMIL.

Was the user wrong to accept her MIL’s offer of the wedding dress, or is her SIL overreacting? How would you handle family conflict over sentimental heirlooms? Share your opinions below!