AITA for calling my husband selfish for eating a massive bowl of cereal?

A woman confronted her husband after he ate a massive bowl of their daughter’s favorite, rarely affordable, chocolate cereal. She explained that the cereal was bought on sale as a treat for their 6-year-old and is usually out of their budget. Her husband claimed it wasn’t a big deal, that he earns most of the household money,

and dismissed her concerns, even saying, “then we just won’t buy another box.” The conversation upset their daughter, and he accused his wife of ruining his day. She feels his actions were selfish and is questioning if she overreacted. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for calling my husband selfish for eating a massive bowl of cereal?’

Our kid (6) has a favourite cereal which is a branded chocolate hoop cereal. When full price it is 100% out of our budget and so we are almost never able to buy it and we buy her the cheap own-brand alternative (which she likes, but isn’t anywhere near as good. But when it’s 3x cheaper, you make do).

We went shopping a few weeks ago, and to my happiness they had two boxes of her preferred brand massively reduced to clear (making them cheaper than the own brand). So I bought them. She was THRILLED.

We’ve been gradually getting through it (I try to limit how much sugary cereal she has anyway so generally she’ll have a bowl of shreddies or bran flakes or similar and put the chocolate cereal on top. She’s happy to do this because it makes the cereal last longer).

We just opened the second box a couple of days ago. Well, this morning, my husband joined us for breakfast (normally he wakes before us and so has already eaten before we wake up). He then poured himself a HUGE bowlfull of the chocolate cereal.

I was stunned, and immediately asked him what he was doing, and was he seriously eating that much (here is where I am probably an a**hole – I shouldn’t have commented in front of our kid. But he took me by surprise and I wasn’t thinking).

He shrugged and said yeah, that it was a “normal” amount of cereal to eat, he’d run out of “his” cereal, and it wasn’t a big deal. He also said he’d done the exact same thing yesterday (having checked, I’d estimate he’s had at least 1/3 of the entire box over those two bowls).

I got annoyed and said that was unreasonable and kind of selfish. While he has every right to eat as much food as he wants, and has every right to eat whichever cereal he wants, I think having a huge bowl of expensive cereal which was bought as a treat for our daughter is completely unreasonable.

I asked him why on earth he couldn’t have mixed it with cheap cereal to bulk out his bowl because this particular cereal is unaffordable usually. He made a comment about that box being gotten on offer so it wasn’t expensive, and when I argued that it wasn’t the point,

that buying another box of it WOULD be expensive, he said “then we just won’t buy another box”. Our kid got upset, and then my husband snapped at me for saying anything in front of her, that it was MY fault our kid was upset, and said that I had now ruined his day.

He sulkily ate his gigantic bowl and then stormed off to our room in a huff. (He also said that he earns most of “our” money so he can eat what he wants – yes, he earns more, but WE have an agreed upon food budget.

If he wants to buy expensive cereal with his own money then he can be my guest, but he spends his money on other things and this cereal came out of our family food budget). AITA for calling him out for eating so much?

Check out how the community responded:

A-Strange-Peg −  **NTA but his ‘I earn more’** (and the implied ‘so F U *and* my daughter’) sure makes him an AH in my book. When money is tight or just needs to be budgeted, good parents often make do w less to ensure their growing kid’s needs (and occasional wants) are met.

Many people can tell you as they got older, they realized their parents had been letting their kids eat most of the meatballs and drink the milk while they lived off the pasta and plain water. IMHO your husband should be ashamed of himself.

First-Industry4762 −  NTA, yeah it’s incredibly selfish behavior. I seriously don’t get why he didn’t think about his kid first.  A lot of husbands seem to have this problem: it’s like they think it’s every man for themselves because it’s only mom’s job to put their kid first.

Emotional_Goal2951 −  NTA He’s setting a bad example, if you get your kid to stretch good things out he should do it, too. Otherwise she’s getting penalized for doing the right thing. Yes life is like that sometimes but shouldn’t be within a family.

Your husband was being selfish and also undermining your parenting by setting himself above the rules, it was important for your daughter to hear it called out instead of learning to be a doormat or that other people matter more.

Timidinho −  NTA. You didn’t attack him. He attacked you and tried to blame you for his actions. He didn’t even care if your daughter gets to have her favourite cereal ever again. His “I make more money than you” line was disgusting. That’s a first little red flag.

caringANDtherapy −  NTA My dad did that all the time… we were on a tight budget and often only ate bread and butter or bread and marmelade (without butter or margarine). He would eat meat spreads and eggs in front of us and even tease us with it.

He was the breadwinner, so my mom was worth nothing – he has not changed his view. It is one of the core memories of my childhood. I still resent my dad for it (among other things). But the food stuff was pretty bad

BeMandalorTomad −  NTA from me (and my husband, who got the abridged version) We’re going to have a baby in a few months and neither of us could imagine buying a treat for her and gobbling it up for ourselves. Then to shrug it off and say ‘well, I guess kiddo just doesn’t get to have it again’ was petty and rude.

Edited for honesty: We wouldn’t touch a special, expensive treat. If a couple of lollies go missing from her Halloween haul, or a nibble off a chocolate Easter bunny, she probably wouldn’t even notice…

Nearby-Ad5666 −  Nta what a j**k move. First to eat so much of the child’s treat when the child is helping to make it last, then to pull the ” I make more money” crap.. What a selfish jerky man. Does he not love his child? We grew up with 5 kids and one income and treats were rare.

Nobody grabbed 1/3 of something that was meant for all of us. My Dad often had a ” secret” box of chocolates that would last him for 2 months. And we would get one as an extra treat.

Hell, when times were really hard, he was stationed in the UK and we were in the US and he lived in the barracks and ate liver and onions every day for lunch because it cost almost nothing.. He did it for his family.. Your husband is a selfish a**hole

A_Screaming_Banshee −  I think it’s incredibly sad that a household of 2 working adults calls cereals an expensive treat and can’t have them most of the time for a 6 year old 😢 I’m not saying to spoil the kid, but having the preferred cereals all the time shouldn’t be a luxury thing

Hareikan −  NTA. Bro who the f**k steals treats from a little kid?? Their *own* child? Insane.

kingcasperrr −  NTA. Reminds me of when I was a teenager living with my family. I used to buy my own favourite chocolate cereal and hide it in my room. My brother would frequently go into my room, find it and eat no joke half a box in one sitting.

Claimed I could ‘just buy more’ BUT THATS NOT THE POINT MF. So maybe this story triggered my past trauma, but not the a**hole here IMO.

While your frustration is understandable, addressing the issue in front of your daughter may have escalated the situation unnecessarily. That said, your husband dismissing your concerns and prioritizing his preferences over a treat meant for your child does come across as inconsiderate.

Communication about family boundaries and the importance of shared values could help resolve this. what do you think? share your thoughts below!