AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she publicly called me “irresponsible” in front of our whole family?

A Reddit user shares her struggle with being her sister’s go-to babysitter while trying to maintain her own life and boundaries. After declining to watch her sister’s kids for one evening due to prior plans, she faced public humiliation at a family gathering where she was called “irresponsible” and “self-centered.”

In response, she decided to stop babysitting until she received an apology and respect. Read the full story below to see how the family drama unfolded.

‘ AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she publicly called me “irresponsible” in front of our whole family?’

I (26F) am the younger sister to “Emma” (34F), who has three kids (7, 4, and 2). Emma has been a single mom for the past few years, and while I respect her hard work, I feel like I’ve been roped into this unofficial “secondary parent” role without my consent, even though I love it at times – it is stressful.

Over the past year, she’s come to rely on me as her primary babysitter. She’ll often ask me to watch the kids at the last minute because she “needs a break” or wants to “run errands” without the stress. I’ve canceled my plans more times than I can count to help her out, and I did it because I wanted to, because she is my sister.

But last weekend I finally had something I was looking forward to: a close friend’s birthday dinner. I’d been helping her plan it for weeks, and we were supposed to have this amazing girls’ night at a fancy restaurant, followed by karaoke—something I never get to do with how much I’m helping my sister.

On the day of the party, Emma texted me in the afternoon, asking if I could watch the kids for “a few hours” so she could “recharge.” I told her I couldn’t because of my plans, and I expected her to respect that which she seemingly did. I assumed she found someone else or worked it out in the end.

Then, fast forward to the next evening at a family dinner. Out of nowhere, Emma goes off on me in front of everyone, saying I’m “irresponsible,” “self-centered,” and that I “have no idea what it’s like to be a real adult” since I don’t have kids of my own.

She even went on about how she “sacrifices everything” for her kids while I “party around like a teenager.” I was mortified and honestly heartbroken. This was in front of our parents, aunts, uncles—everyone.

After dinner, I told her that I was done babysitting until she could apologize and start treating me with respect. She’s been furious, saying I’m “abandoning” her and that “family should be there no matter what.” It made me feel really bad and I felt as if I did abandoned her as sister with this demand.

My mom, of course, took her side, saying I should “let it go” because Emma is stressed and just needs my support as she is a single mum and yadayadayada.

I get that being a single mom is tough and I am her sister and she helped me out a lot too, but on the other side I feel like I’m being guilt-tripped and treated like her backup parent and not even a babysitter that can have other plans. AITA for saying enough is enough and setting this boundary?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

BlueGreen_1956 −  NTA. Her being a single mother is her damn problem, not yours. There is no way I would ever babysit for that b**ch ever again.

Beautiful-Honeydew19 −  Nta… I’d tell her she’s right and she should never have an irresponsible person like you look after her children…. 😈😈😈😈. Updateme!

Goidelica −  *Never* babysit for her again, and move out as soon as you can. Your family *openly* takes you for granted. Your sister thinks you’re her servant. NTA.

Sensitive-Ad-5406 −  Group chat. “For a year I’ve been a free, last minute babysitter. S**ew my original plans, I did it. The one time I say no, you all turn rotten. So the doors are closed. I don’t do free s**t for ungrateful brats, family or not.

You grandparents can start dropping s**t last minute instead, since family is so important to you. Do not call or text me for a long time”
Mute them all. You didn’t have those kids, they’re not your responsibility.. NTA

PetalPotion99 −  NTA. You’ve been super supportive, but it’s not fair for her to publicly shame you like that. Setting boundaries is important, especially when you’re constantly being taken for granted. She needs to respect your time and your needs too. It’s not selfish to have plans of your own.

boredathome1962 −  NTA. Respect is a two way street. She’s only going one way. You aren’t irresponsible, you’re NOT responsible. Those are her kids, not yours.

College_student204 −  NTA. Babysitting doesn’t mean signing up for lifelong, on-call backup. If Emma wants “support no matter what,” maybe she should start with respecting your plans. She can’t roast you in front of the family and then expect you to be her go-to. Boundaries aren’t a**ndonment—they’re just healthy.

celticmusebooks −  YIKES ON BIKES. Emma has three children–don’t those children have fathers? If she needs to “recharge” she should call the dad/s. Why can’t your parents babysit? You should NOT “let this go”. This is the “teachable moment” for Emma.

She needs to learn that babysitting is a FAVOR and her children are her responsibility. None of the dozens of times you put your plans on hold to accomodate her means anything to her because ONE time you had plans. THINK ABOUT THAT for a minute.

You need to put Emma on a babysitting “time out” for say the next month. Then IF, and ONLY if she makes a sincere public apology you’ll start limited babysitting with hard and fast rules in place. Come up with a number of “hours” per month you’d be willing to babysit. When those hours are used up no more babysitting.

Come up with a certain amount of advance notice required (unless it’s an emergency). And the KEY rule: NO MEANS NO. No more cancelling plans for her. PERIOD.

Any attempts at b**lying or involving family members to b**ly you will mean another “time out” period.
Don’t engage with the b**lying– block or hang up without engaging. BEWARE of the drop and run, LOL.

donname10 −  Nta. Nahhhh. Being single mom is her life. Her choice not yours. Let her and you mom handle it. You just be the fun aunt.

MisaOEB −  NTA and I am sorry but you are not their parent. She is abusing your good will. You need to have social outings with friends etc so that you can live your life, not live her life. It also helps to meet your person.

If anyone in the family asks, ask why they are not helping out. If they have kids and say because of that, you say “another few wouldn’t matter”. Add up the number of times you babysit for her and remind them of it and ask them how many times they helped out.

I feel very strongly about this as I am in your position and I rarely babysit, as they ask me last minute and I say I have plans. If they book me in advance no problem. You are only 26 and are not married with kids yet.

You should be having fun and partying and enjoying your life. Thank her for this lesson and don’t let her abuse you any further. I think unfortunately your habit of being there for your sister and cancelling plans etc has left her grow entitled.

She thinks she is entitled to you babysitting for her. It is really important that if you start doing this again you only agree randomly or else commit to one thing e.g. I will babysit on Thursday evenings after work.

Do you think the Redditor’s boundary was reasonable, or should she have continued supporting her sister despite the public criticism? How would you handle being caught between family obligations and personal boundaries? Share your thoughts in the comments below!