Am I the bad guy for leaving without paying?

A Redditor shared their frustration over a long-standing conflict with a friend, Jenny, who habitually avoids paying her share during group meals and takes food from others without permission. After enduring years of this behavior, the final straw came when Jenny took food directly from their plate, prompting the Redditor to leave the dinner—and the group—without paying. Now, they wonder if their reaction was too harsh. Read the full story below to decide for yourself.

‘ Am I the bad guy for leaving without paying?’

Almost every Friday, my friends and I would go out to eat or grab a drink. I’ve known Jenny since high school, and I never liked her. She used to never bring lunch and expected everyone to share their food with her. I always told her no because I wasn’t going to go hungry for her sake.

If it had been a real need, I wouldn’t have minded, but she would always say things like, “I didn’t bring lunch today because I didn’t want to carry extra stuff.” When someone suggested she buy something, she’d reply that she was saving money.

On top of that, she had disgusting table manners—she’d burp loudly at the table and, when someone stopped eating, she’d say, “Oh, you’re not going to finish that?” and devour their food without asking. That was when I stopped eating lunch with them.

Over time, I stayed in touch with the group but only joined outings when Jenny wasn’t invited. A few years ago, I moved to the city, and after a high school reunion dinner, we reconnected as a group. I’d forgotten all about Jenny, but over time, she ended up being included again. This time, she would order food, but when it was time to pay, she’d conveniently forget her wallet, leaving us all to split the bill evenly.

This happened three times, and by the fourth, before we even ordered, I told everyone I’d be paying for my meal separately. Someone asked why, and I said I wasn’t going to chip in for someone else’s shrimp while I was eating chicken and salad. Jenny stayed silent. When the bill came, no one wanted to cover Jenny’s portion, and they asked me to help. I refused. Everyone was upset, but I’d already warned them.

The following week, Jenny didn’t order any food. Instead, she got up for a moment, and when the servers brought the dishes, they handed her a set of utensils. She then announced that she’d just take a little bit from everyone’s plates. I made it clear I wasn’t participating. Some people were annoyed, so I offered to sit at another table if it was a problem. They didn’t say anything else after that.

Later that week, some people in the group complained that they’d left the meal still hungry because Jenny had eaten from their plates. Meanwhile, she bragged about how full she was. Some even blamed me for separating my bill, saying it contributed to the problem. I told them I wasn’t going to go out with them anymore as long as Jenny was there.

Her behavior at the table was disgusting, and I wasn’t going to pay evenly split bills anymore. I suggested they meet without me. One of them apologized and asked me to join another dinner, assuring me that Jenny wouldn’t be there. Everything seemed fine until Jenny showed up. I rolled my eyes, stood up to leave, but my friend stopped me and asked me to stay. Someone else moved their seat to put distance between me and Jenny.

We ordered, and when the food arrived, Jenny got up, walked over to me, grabbed two pieces of salmon from my plate, and said, “See? The world doesn’t end if you share.” I looked at everyone, got up, and left without paying.
Afterward, they kept calling me because I was supposed to give a few of them a ride home, but I didn’t answer. In the group chat, I told them all to go to hell and left the group. Some messaged me, saying I should at least pay for my meal. I told them to have whoever ate it pay for it.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Zambie88 −  NTA. It’s crazy that all your friends are supporting her behavior in this.

Curraghboy1 −  “Jenny got up, walked over to me, grabbed two pieces of salmon from my plate, and said, “See? The world doesn’t end if you share”. And that kids is how aunt nine finger Jenny got her name.. NTA.

YourMomSaysMoo −  This made me so f**king mad to read. What is the deal with this absolutely disgusting person?! Why do they all love her so much??. Edit: NTA obviously.

Stoic_STFU −  You handled this without slamming the plate of food in Jenny’s face, therefore NTA.

Melodic_Glass_4673 −  NTA, normally I’m against people leaving somewhere without paying for food that they ordered. But if someone ate off of my plate without me asking, I wouldn’t touch it either. Instead of straight up leaving, I would’ve said to the waiter when the check arrived, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get a chance to eat because this woman ate the plate of food without asking. Is it fine to put the dish on her tab and get me something else?”.

Also, your other ‘friends’ aren’t much better because you’ve told them your boundaries but they chose to ignore it. Some of them probably don’t like Jenny either.

Con4America −  NTA. Those aren’t your friends. I would have stabbed a fork in her hand though.

Lawas19481a −  You made it clear you wouldn’t tolerate Jenny’s antics, and your friends disregarded your boundary. Walking out without paying was fair since Jenny literally took your meal. NTA.

chez2202 −  NTA. But before you give up on your friends completely you need to ask them 2 things. The first thing is, why were you told that Jenny wouldn’t be at the meal? The person who told you that is not the person who actually invited her. They also aren’t the person who told Jenny that you are sick of her eating off everyone else’s plates. She had to have been told by someone or she wouldn’t have come straight to YOUR plate to take your food. That person is the AH.

The second thing is why they continue to include someone who NEVER pays their way but then kick off with you for walking out without paying when she attacked your plate the second it was delivered after being warned multiple times that you weren’t prepared to share with her? Why are they ok blaming you but won’t say anything to her? What are they afraid of? Your friends are idiots and they don’t have the balls to tell her that she is a complete ponce.

chaingun_samurai −  The last time someone tried to grab food from my plate without asking, they got stabbed in the back of the hand with a plastic fork.

Straight-Health-6705 −  Sounds like you need a new set of friends 😉