AITA for telling my husband that I no longer want my Christmas Gift?

A Reddit user (F) shared how her husband announced he’d buy her a $500 art piece she had wanted for years as her only Christmas gift. While the gesture seemed thoughtful at first, he kept making complaints like, “I could buy a new TV for this price,” and “Don’t expect anything else.”

His comments left her feeling guilty, unworthy, and frustrated about receiving the gift. Finally, she told him she didn’t want it anymore because his attitude had ruined the joy of the gesture.

Her husband became upset, accusing her of “ruining Christmas.” Now, she’s wondering if she overreacted or handled things poorly. Read the full story below and weigh in with your perspective.

‘ AITA for telling my husband that I no longer want my Christmas Gift? ‘

For the past few years I’ve wanted a very specific item. It’s about $500.00. I don’t like spending that much money on myself and this isn’t necessary to the household so I never bought it. It would just be something to display, like an art piece (going to leave out exactly what it is because it would be identifying).

This year my husband announced he was getting it for me for Christmas. Which… I was slightly down about because it ruined the surprise but I was fine with it. But he keeps talking about it, and in the past month has made a lot of annoyed comments.

“I could buy a new TV for this price,” “I could buy so and so for how much this is,” “Your only getting this so don’t expect anything else.” And finally today I sent him something funny that I thought was cute and he responded saying “well you’re only getting this for Christmas so don’t show me anything else or I just won’t get it.”

I feel like he’s treating me like a child. I’m not making him purchase me anything, I’m not asking him to get me this or anything else for that matter. I’ve said a few times that he doesn’t need to get me anything for holidays, just a nice dinner or a homemade gift from one of our children would be preferred.

I don’t like buying myself stuff in general so I’m not out spending a crap ton of money. He is making me feel guilty and I didn’t even ask for this! He knows I wanted it because I joke around about it or have made comments but I never told him to get it for me.

Today was the last straw with the most recent complaint. So I sat him down and asked him to please not purchase it anymore, that I no longer wanted it. He kept pressing asking me why and I just said I changed my mind, he was right we could spend money on something else for everybody.

It turned into a spat and he finally got it out of me that he ruined it. I explained that he complained so much about it, if I ever opened this as a gift from him I would just think about how much he did not want to get it for me, and every time I saw it on the wall I’d think of how he was so annoyed that he had to buy it, so I’d rather he just not.

He got super upset and said I ruined Christmas so now I feel awful. He loves Christmas and asks to be surprised by his gifts every year. Which is why his behavior was so strange with this. It’s like he felt forced and I’m trying to tell him not to feel that way.

I said to please just let the kids make something for me or for them to pick out something special. Now we’re both upset and I’m feeling like I should just have kept my mouth shut. This is such a stupid thing to worry about…

I just also had had enough of him complaining about it. This isn’t what Christmas is about at all. I just want to spend time with my family, go to church, and watch the kids eyes light up and have a happy day. I don’t want to hear any of his complaints about getting this anymore… So, am I the a**hole? Did I ruin Christmas?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

ashkebane −  NTA. you ruined nothing. His bitching and whining ruined it.

Exciting_Lack2896 −  NTA. He ruined christmas and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was complaining either to get you to change your mind and not want the gift anymore or feel like you owe him for getting it for you.

cowandspoon −  NTA. Your husband is a bratty man-child and he needs to get over himself.

bakeacake45 −  He got what he wanted, he doesn’t have to buy this item, which he hated, for you. He harassed and badgered you til the item itself lost all value to you. The question is, does he exhibit this controlling behavior in other aspects of your life? Does he do this to your kids…squash their passions so he can get his way?

You do not have to answer that question here…it’s more a question to get you thinking about the quality of your relationship, his lack of respect for you and what your kids see from their perspective and how it’s influenced them.

Cute_Introduction783 −  Don’t feel badly – he ruined it. He knows it but is projecting blame. You are too selfless- buy it for yourself to make up for all the years you asked for nothing- you are worthy of a $500 gift.

Koalabootie −  So here’s what you do, instead of buying anything for him, you buy yourself this display piece as an early Christmas to yourself. And when he asks about it you tell him:

“I’m gifting this to myself for Christmas, that way you can gift yourself ‘all that stuff’ that you could’ve with the money you would’ve spent of a gift for your wife that she’s been waiting years for”

Bubbly_Study_1670 −  No hw should’ve jus kept his mouth shut and surprised you or just said im getting you something nice this year that I’m sure you’ll like.

DamiaSugar −  Nope but start by telling him what you got him and how expensive it is and how if you didn’t buy it you could buy… Then keep at it. Christmas is not all about him

tiggergirluk76 −  NTA. He ruined it and now he’s projecting. If you’re going to buy someone a gift, you don’t spend the weeks leading up to it complaining about it every chance you get. He’s literally been trying to guilt you for weeks – how the f**k did he think that would make you feel?. Husband is the AH here 100%

Stunning_Cupcake_260 −  Nta. He ruined Christmas so just cancel Christmas this year. No lights, tree, presents or family gathering. He ruined it, due to his behavior, you deserve to skip it.. He’s a whiny m**ipulative a**hole

Was the wife justified in telling her husband to cancel the gift after his repeated complaints, or did she overreact and escalate the situation unnecessarily? How would you handle a similar scenario if a thoughtful gesture turned sour due to negativity? Share your thoughts below!