AITA for canceling plans after being left stranded for hours while meeting a girl for the first time?

A Redditor shares their experience meeting a girl for the first time after connecting on Hinge. They agreed to pick her up and spend the day together, but the plans quickly went awry when she and her friend left him stranded outside their pregame for hours.

Frustrated and feeling sidelined, he canceled the evening plans altogether. Was this a justified response, or did he overreact? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for canceling plans after being left stranded for hours while meeting a girl for the first time?’

So, I (22M) had plans to meet a girl (21F) that I’d met on Hinge a couple of months ago. She was in town for a wedding and had an extra day, so we decided to meet up. The plan was to meet around 3 PM, grab some food, and then go clubbing later with both of our friends.

Two nights before, she asked if I could pick her and her friend up from where they were staying. I told her I’d already made excuses to my parents about not coming home that night, and since my apartment was 90 minutes away, I thought we’d just go to the club together afterward. She agreed, so I picked her up around 3 PM.

The day went fine initially—we drove around the city, then came back to the same place where I picked her up to grab some food. After eating, she asked her friend to come downstairs, and they wanted to buy booze to pregame.

I suggested we just pregame in my car since my friend had some alcohol, but they wanted to go upstairs to pregame instead. I couldn’t go up with them since it was a PG (no boys allowed), so I just stayed in the car while they went inside to drink. They told me they’d meet me around 10 PM to head to the club.

I ended up stranded outside for three hours with nothing to do, which was super frustrating. I went to my friend’s place nearby to kill time, but I was still pretty pissed about the situation.

At that point, I was really annoyed, feeling like I was just a chauffeur and that the plans were being completely disregarded. I had already made an excuse to leave a wedding I’d been at for two days to meet her, and now this.

I thought about canceling on them later in the night and making them change their plans, but ultimately I just canceled the whole thing, texting that I was stuck with my cousins for a small get together. They ended up going to the club without me.

So, AITA for canceling on them last minute, or should I have just gone along with it, even though I felt like I was being treated badly?
Alternatively, i could have sticked it up back to them by canning the plan even later and ruining their plan too.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

heyitsbrandoon −  nah, nta. they totally disrespected your time, left you hanging for hours, and kinda treated you like a free ride. you were more than patient, but canceling was fair, no one wants to feel like a backup option.

Al00O −  NTA. They act like they don’t even want to spend time with you if they go to the boy-free zone. Especially for 3 hours.  Since they went to the club later and didn’t make a big deal out of it, your absence didn’t hurt them either. 

BreqsCousin −  What’s a PG no girls allowed? Why did you agree to stay in your car while they went to hang out in a place you couldn’t go, wasn’t that in itself enough to bail? That’d be the end of the date for me. Were you really planning on drinking in your car? Seems like a bad plan.

Traditional-Bag-4508 −  You were there for a wedding?. She was there for a wedding? You made an excuse to your parents for staying out ?. This entire “story” makes no sense

Mandos-moustache −  NTA – as long as you were respectful in your text saying you plan to stay with your cousins, then I don’t see any problem.

Maybe I’m old but I thought the point of a date is to spend time together, and she chose to leave you for 3 hours alone when you’d both planned to go out then there’s no need to wait around. The other side of this is why was her friend there? Did she feel uncomfortable? Was she hoping you’d leave?

Saberune −  NTA. In fact, you weren’t enough of an a**hole. I definitely would’ve told her what I thought about being asked to wait in a car for three hours. Well, maybe not. I probably would’ve just drove off while they were still walking from my car to the door.

True-Specialist935 −  NTA. She’s not that into you. Reasonable to just move on. 

princessdaphnee −  NTA. You were left stranded for three hours and your plans were completely disregarded. It’s not fair for them to expect you to just go along with it and it’s understandable that you were frustrated and annoyed.

Cancelling was a reasonable response and it’s not your responsibility to cater to their plans after being treated poorly. Plus, it’s better to have canceled than to have stuck it out and potentially ruin everyone’s night with your negative energy.

CarmenxXxWaldo −  So she’s in town for a wedding and you’re also at a wedding that’s multiple days?  Also, she wasn’t “in town” if she was an hour and a half away.  You correctly assumed they just wanted you to drive them around.

If she was interested you could have gone into the no boy zone, I snuck into worse places for a girl that liked me at that age.  One thing I never did at any age single though is try to get involved with someone that lived more than 25-30 minutes away

(and honestly i wouldnt agree on a group date or continue talking to someone that suggests it, but I dont necessarily think their is anything wrong with it).  If you can’t find anyone in your city that is interested in you the problem ain’t the city, it’s you.

NiceButton7 −  ESH for planning to drink and drive, unless your wording was just poorly thought out.

Do you think the Reddit user was right to cancel after feeling mistreated, or should they have communicated more directly about their frustration? How would you handle being left out like this? Share your thoughts below!