AITA for leaving my mum home after she added herself to a trip I organized?

A Redditor shared their story about planning a solo road trip to their family’s seaside house to test their new car and enjoy some quiet time. Their mother, upon hearing the plans, decided to join last minute. However, the user worried her presence would limit their freedom and the detours they had planned for the drive.

Politely explaining their preference for a solo trip, they left without her, but later found out she was upset. Was it fair for the user to prioritize their solo plans, or should they have accommodated their mom? Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for leaving my mum home after she added herself to a trip I organized?’

I choose to organize a solo trip drive from my town to our families sea house. Usually it’s a 4h drive, but I decided I wanted to take many detours to test my recently bought car, making the drive around 8h long. The day before leaving, my mom who is also in love with our sea house heard about my plans and decided she wanted to come too.

The problem is, she is the passenger driver type of person, and going 1 km/h over the limit its a d**th penalty for her. I love being alone and I like going to our second house because in this period the town is empty and quiet. My mum also like the peace of this place, but she hates doing something that she doesn’t like, and my drive would be restricted to going from A to B and I wouldn’t have the same degree of freedom that one gets when being home alone.

So I tried to tell her I’d rather go by myself and after a short talk I left, she didn’t look upset but my sister said she called me a**hole a few times after I left…. AITA?

EDIT HOW THE CONVERSATION WENT AND EXTRA INFO: My father bought a new car for himself because his V6 Busso Alfa Romeo broke down, so he gave me his old broken car and told me I could keep it if I could fix it… took a few months but once I was done working on the car I started planning the trip.

I came back home the day before leaving (I live in a different city because I study there), my mum told me she wanted to come by car too (when I was planning the trip she told me she might reach me by train). I told her that I planned to make a few detours on twisty roads and many stops. She told me that she only wanted to do the highway.

I told her I planned my trip long ago and I would have rather stick to my plans, so I proposed to pay for her train ticket but she told me she didn’t want to take the train because she needed to switch it 2 times (she travelled all her life and has a lot of experience with trains and any sorts of means of travel).

That’s when I said I wasn’t going to change my plans because I had been looking forward to that day for so long. You could tell she was hurt and that’s why I felt guilty, even though I did all I could to get her to the beach house without completely changing my plans.

I have been studying since September for a really hard exam I took on the 4th of November, and this was the only week of vacation I could take before diving back in studying for a December exam. That’s why I was so determined in doing what I wanted before getting back on the books.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Additional-You7859 −  \ My mum also like the peace of this place, but she hates doing something that she doesn’t like, and my drive would be restricted to going from A to B and I wouldn’t have the same degree of freedom that one gets when being home alone. Next time say “this is what I’m doing.” Politely refuse to back down. And then do it. If she complains, just remind her “this is what I said I was doing”.

MrsNobodyspecial67 −  NTA. You set your parameters if she joined you and she tried to change your agenda. Sounds like the trip would have been long and tedious if you had taken her. Next time plan a trip for the 2 of you with straight through drive and spend a weekend together..

jeffprop −  NTA. You had your trip with a set itinerary. Your mother wanted to attend and change it. She can ask for changes, but that is completely up to you and no one else.
Next time, offer to meet her at the house since she objects to how you will get there.

Normal_Atmosphere432 −  NTA-This is a pet-peeve of mine. Growing up I had an “Aunt” who if she heard one of my parents or other aunt and uncle talking about going somewhere she would always say “Can I goooooo???” Or she would assume she was going and start talking about what she would be doing on that trip.

It got to the point my parents and aunt and uncle wouldn’t even mention there was trip being planned until it was too late for her to be added. It just made things very uncomfortable. There were times she was invited…other times not. I think she finally got it when she wasn’t invited on a “Sisters” trip. Never heard her ask again.

epichuntarz −  NTA. You’re allowed to take some solo time to mentally recharge. Your mom is presumably a fully functioning adult who is free to also take her own trip there on her conditions.

MeasureMe2 −  NTA: I’m sorry your mother couldn’t take the hint.

LouisV25 −  INFO: Who owns the house? NTA if you do. You had the right to set your trip the way you wanted.. Kinda cold if Mom owns the house.

MadameFlora −  Hey, my mom invited HER best friend to my Scotland vacation. Never again.

rositamaria1886 −  While it would have been nice for Mum to come along, you had planned a long drive there and wanted to enjoy it alone. NTA.

JGalKnit −  NTA. I don’t know why you have to include someone in something you planned to do alone. You are just enjoying a day alone.