AITA for telling my houseguests they need to leave over mental health issues?

A 31-year-old hosted a university friend and her sister, expecting them to stay for a week. Upon arrival, it became clear the sister has severe anxiety around dogs, which are common in the dog-friendly city. The sister insisted on staying indoors for weeks, refusing to explore or continue their planned trip.

The host explained that such accommodations were impractical and asked them to leave. The friend seemed upset, leaving the host wondering if she was wrong to set boundaries. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for telling my houseguests they need to leave over mental health issues?’

I (31F) had a friend (32F) from university reach out to me asking if her and her sister (25F) could stay at my place on their trip to the country I now live in before going to other cities. I had no problems with this. They fly over and were expected to stay a week at my place.

I live in the heart of a very big tourist city. What I didn’t know was her sister has some obvious serious anxiety issues related to dogs. It turns out her sister and her had no idea about different regulations around dogs in the country where I am.

Malls, restaurants, bakeries, bars/ pubs etc are almost always dog friendly where people’s pets are welcome and really except for grocery shops they’re allowed in and encouraged.

Her sister became visibly upset when we for a walk the first day she came and she saw dogs without a lead walking around the city with their owners. She started really getting hysterical when we went inside a local Starbucks and she saw the dogs inside at people’s feet.

We immediately went home and I told her that you can’t really avoid dogs because they’ll be out and about. Her sister then told me she didn’t want to even leave my place with all these unpredictable dogs and wanted to stay indoors the entire time.

I suggested that this week and the following places they are going to visit are going to be exactly the same. The sister immediately tells me that they’ll just stay at my place for a few weeks and fly home.

I told them I was absolutely not okay with this and that if it seriously was that big of a deal to her that they needed to leave. AITA for asking them to leave after these change in circumstances?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

4th_chakra −  ..could stay at my place on their trip to the country I now live in before going to other cities. I had no problems with this. They fly over and were expected to stay a week at my place. You agreed for a week.

The sister immediately tells me that they’ll just stay at my place for a few weeks and fly home. It’s not her place. A week doesn’t get to turn into “weeks” without a discussion, and mutual agreement. I told them I was absolutely not okay with this Nor should you be. You are honoring the week stay.

Outside of that, they need to make their own arrangements. There was no prior discussion from your friend about her sister’s anxiety towards dogs. It sounds like it’s severe enough that it is causing panic attacks.

That is something your friend would have known (as it was her sister), and should have brought up prior to visiting. “Hey, my sister really has a problem with dogs. How is it where you live?” So there was a lack of forthcoming from her, which then turned into this issue.

And even if they wanted to keep her anxiety private, they lacked due diligence on their part to Google the local areas regarding dog bylaws, and prevalence. That’s literally a 5 minute search, which would have saved everyone a lot of time, and they would have chosen another place to vacation.

Regardless, it isn’t something that is on your plate. It’s on theirs. They need to find another place to stay, or cancel the trip entirely because there are dogs everywhere.. NTA

WorldlinessLanky1443 −  I was attacked by two Rottweilers. I was very severely injured. Multiple hours of surgery and years later I still have physical issues. I am now very scared of large dogs, especially when there is no physical restraint of those dogs. You know what I do before traveling to any new place?

I look up the dog related regulations. It’s not always easy to find the information and, of course, I can always be surprised by people breaking these regulations but *I* do everything reasonable to make an informed decision.

I feel for her, probably more than most given my experiences, but her lack of planning isn’t your issue. They completely changed their plans and expect you to just deal with it and that isn’t ok. You are NTAH even a little bit.

Give the a couple of days to sort new arrangements and help research that if you can and then have a clear conscience. Hopefully this will be a lesson that sticks with her. This kind of fear isn’t fun but you can do your best to minimize the impact on yourself and others.

Doc_HW −  NTA. The mistake here was that both your friend and her sister never researched your country’s policies regarding dogs in public places.  It’s common sense to look into a destination’s rules before traveling to avoid any potential issues that could disrupt a vacation.

It may sound harsh, but it would be more sensible for her to return home since she likely won’t enjoy her trip due to her condition, and staying at your house while her sister enjoys the trip wouldn’t be fun either.

Equal_Maintenance870 −  I just want to know where this magical dog city is so I can move.

laughinglovinglivid −  NTA. If I’m understanding this right, they went from being at your place for about a week to now expecting to be able to stay there for several weeks? You’re more than entitled to ask them to leave.

East_Parking8340 −  Of course you’re not.They can’t just unilaterally extend their stay without any discussion or agreement with you. I suggest you borrow a friend’s dog…… NTA

gorillaboy75 −  NTA. Why in earth does this girl travel if she can’t handle seeing a dog? That is ridiculous! Good for you for telling them to go. The nerve.

bigwh0ppers −  NTA – you didn’t agree to hosting a shut in. If she’s not exploring the city at all then she may as well fly out immediately.

xhevnobski −  NTA. They can’t just decide to overstay their welcome at your home without your consent. That’s not how it works.

Was the host justified in asking her guests to leave, or should she have accommodated their unforeseen issues? Share your opinions below!