AITA for sending my friend a ‘Get Well Soon’ package?
A Redditor shared how a thoughtful gesture for a long-time female friend—a care package to help her through a bad cold—led to unexpected backlash.
The friend’s boyfriend accused the Redditor of trying to upstage him and having ulterior motives. With pure intentions and no romantic interest, the Redditor now wonders if their kindness crossed a line. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for sending my friend a ‘Get Well Soon’ package?’
One of my (36M) really good friends posted on Facebook that she (40F) caught a really bad cold and has been holed up in her apartment for days. I felt bad, so I went to the store and bought some items to ship to her as a care package: Orange juice, cough drops, lemon ginger tea bags, and DVD set of one of her favorite shows.
She DMed me to say thank you and that my care package really cheered me up. That good feeling soured when her boyfriend called me up to accuse me of trying to upstage him.
I told him that I was trying to be nice, but he started throwing all these wild accusations around and accused me of trying to get into her pants. I apologized for making him feel that way, and told him that my intentions were purely out of friendship.
I’ve known my female friend for YEARS and have never tried anything on her. Also, I’m married. Getting into my friend’s pants was the ABSOLUTE last thing on my mind! AITA for stepping on her BF’s toes?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Eastern-Warthog-6946 − NTA. If your kindness made him look and feel crappy, that is on him. You can only be accountable for your intentions, which btw, we’re extremely considerate. You do you
Jonny_rhodes − NTA. If he can’t be bothered to care for his girlfriend whilst ill why shouldn’t her friends. Regardless of gender
Intentions of friendship are just that. Never feel sorry for being a friend
Even_Enthusiasm7223 − You did nothing wrong, he’s just jealous because you gave her a more thoughtful gift while she was sick than he did.
Because he probably did absolutely nothing and upstaging him could have been sending her a box of tissues. He’s jealous and upset that you were more thoughtful than he was.. Nta , but the boyfriend sure is
StAlvis − NTA. I apologized for making him feel that way. But FFS, *why?*
CarbonationRequired − NTA. If you “upstaged” him it’s because he’s insecure. His reaction should’ve been “holy s**t, wife, friend just sent you some stuff to help you recover, why don’t I make this tea for you and put the DVD in?”
And if he wanted to show off by doing more then he could do something helpful for HER instead of moaning about it to you.
Rohini_rambles − Low effort partners are often very aggressive towoards other people who show their partners decency and kindness, they hate when others raise the bar for human behavior because they don’t want to do the work.
He iis feeling ashamed because you cared more than he did. Instead of doing the healthy thing and considering why he felt that way anad deciding to be a better partner, it’s far easier to accuse you and shame you. . NTA keep being awesome.
CrimsonKnight_004 − NTA – The boyfriend is insecure and apparently felt called out by your thoughtfulness. That speaks volumes about him and his own apparent lack of attentiveness to her needs, and it doesn’t reflect on you as a person at all. You’re an awesome friend, don’t let this clown damper than.
Squinky75 − She needs a new boyfriend. Can you put one in the next care package?
sugarlump858 − NTA. I got that reaction once from a friend’s husband. She had a n**ty flu. I took her to the urgent care. When I brought her home, I noticed he had left trash, dishes, laundry, and assorted crap all over. When I’m sick, I feel even worse around messes.
So, I straightened up. He got all pissy at me. Yes, he was home. Couldn’t be bothered to take her to the doctor. Couldn’t be bothered to clean up after himself. Whatever jo-jo. I left and got her a vitamin smoothie.
micknick0000 − Sounds like her boyfriend is insecure. He got showed up, and he’s embarrassed. I wouldn’t have apologized, but doubled down and embarrassed him more by calling him out on it.. Kiss my whole ass.
Do you think the Redditor’s gesture was harmless and well-intentioned, or should they have considered the boyfriend’s perspective before sending the care package? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments!
