AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door in the apartment I share with my husband and his family member?
A Reddit user shared their story about installing a lock on their bedroom door in an apartment they share with their husband and his sibling, “G.” The decision came after a guest, allowed by G, entered their private space without permission.
Despite explaining the reasons for the lock, the user now faces backlash from G and feels ostracized in their own home. Were they justified in prioritizing privacy? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door in the apartment I share with my husband and his family member?’
My husband and I live with his sibling, “G,” in an apartment that’s paid for by his family. G frequently brings friends over, and one of them, “L,” is a frequent guest who practically lives with us at this point.
I tend to avoid the common areas because I get anxious and uncomfortable around so many people, but I don’t really mind keeping to myself. I have a vanity room where I keep my clothes and jewelry, and I installed a small camera there for peace of mind, as no one locks the apartment door, day or night.
And I wanted to protect my valuables. Later, I decided to put a lock on the vanity room door as an extra security measure. Recently, while my husband and I weren’t home, G allowed their friend L to enter our personal space without permission, supposedly to charge a device.
This was especially unsettling because my husband and I have private, personal items in our bedroom, and it felt like a serious i**asion of our privacy. I feel that G was also at fault here for allowing a frequent guest to enter such a personal space, especially since it’s our private room as a couple.
After that incident, my husband and I decided to put a lock on our bedroom door for additional privacy. I even explained to L beforehand that it was for privacy and safety, given the constant traffic in our apartment.
Everything seemed fine until G texted my husband, angrily accusing us of being “paranoid” and saying locks and cameras aren’t necessary because they were “raised with trust” as a family. Since then, G has been distant, and I’ve been avoiding G and L, as I feel like they’re both upset with me.
I tried to reconcile with G, but they were dismissive and rude, leaving me feeling like I was back in school dealing with bullies. It’s especially hurtful because I had opened up to both G and L about some personal struggles,
thinking they would understand why I’d want some extra privacy. Now, I feel like I’m an outsider in my own home. So, Reddit, AITA for putting a lock on my bedroom door and wanting more privacy?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
KrofftSurvivor − NTA. Anyone offended by you preventing their guests from accessing your personal space does not have good intentions.
Aggravating-Pie-1639 − NTA, but it’s kind of ridiculous that L is in your apartment so much that you have to explain to them about why you’re locking your bedroom door.
That’s a little weird and maybe hubby needs to have a conversation with G about their attitude and boundaries and L’s presence in your space. Maybe he should get whoever’s name is on the lease involved, would that person be supportive of your privacy?
Square-Minimum-6042 − NTA. Family might be trustworthy but his friends are not your family. The fact that he objects should tell you how necessary it is to protect your privacy.
Petefriend86 − NTA. It’s not paranoia if someone entered your personal space without your permission.
Ok-Position7403 − NTA. If they had no interest in going into your room. they wouldn’t give a damn about the lock. Can you move?
HUNGWHITEBOI25 − NTA. Basic rule: when someone gets offended by you putting a lock on your door, they are telling you “why are you not letting me steal from you. That’s rude”
S**ew them Op, you did nothing wrong, i will say your husband should be doing a bit more to stand up for you though, it’s HIS family causing the issue here, not you.
Cursd818 − NTA. G broke your trust when she invaded your space. She can be as butthurt as she wants, but the fact that she is protesting about this measure makes it even more necessary.
Derwin0 − Why don’t you and your husband just get a place of your own instead of relying on his family to provide you one?
Bonnm42 − “G allowed their friend L to enter our personal space without permission, supposedly to charge a device.” This statement, along with the fact they seem to be very angry over not being allowed in your room, is a 🚩. I wonder if they are doing something inappropriate.
Have any of your underwear or intimate items gone missing? Also, I would check for cameras and check your jewelry camera to see if you see anything suspicious. I truly cannot come up with a valid reason anyone would care this much about you locking the bedroom door… if they weren’t up to something they shouldn’t be.
Ratchet_gurl24 − But you trusted G to respect your private space and they deliberately let L into your bedroom to ‘charge a device’. No excuse is going to forgive this blatant disrespect, but charging a device is the lamest one ever.
Why must L need to go into your bedroom to do this. Why did G think they had autonomy to act like that, especially behind your backs. Putting locks on your doors is the only way you can ensure you private space is not violated when you are not home.
If G is being distant, then that’s his problem. His statement that they were raised with trust, is irrelevant if he cannot be trusted because of his own intrusive behaviour.
Was the user justified in setting boundaries with a lock and camera for their personal space, or did they overreact? How would you handle privacy concerns in a shared living situation? Share your thoughts in the comments!
