AITA for requesting that my teacher not partner me with my deadbeat father’s daughter?

A teen (16M) requested his teacher avoid pairing him with his half-sister—the daughter of his absentee father—who abandoned him and his mom. The girl’s repeated attempts to connect have caused tension,

leading her parents to demand a meeting with the principal to claim “bullying” and ask for a forced buddy program, which the principal dismissed. Now, her friends accuse him of being a jerk for distancing himself. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for requesting that my teacher not partner me with my deadbeat father’s daughter?’

My father walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with me (16m). They were married for like 5 years at that point but he was cheating a lot. Mom trying to divorce him went through hell because they’d picked up and moved. He never met me.

He didn’t show up at court for their divorce, or for custody, or for child support. He went to jail three times for failure to pay child support and for trying to avoid child support by quitting his jobs and not declaring his new place of employment. I still haven’t even met him.

But around a year ago he moved back with his family (the affair partner and their kids). He has a daughter 5 months younger than me a son about a year and a half younger and some other kids who are younger again but I don’t know their ages.

I only know the older two ages because of school and sharing some classes with his daughter. She has tried to connect with me but I told her I wasn’t interested, we’re not family, I don’t want to know the affair family. Even though she was upset and cried a little in front of me, she didn’t give up.

And when we returned to our classes in August she was suddenly in four of mine instead of one like last year. So I went to our teacher who assigns a lot of group stuff and asked her to never pair me with her.

I explained the reason why and she was surprised but agreed that it would be for the best to avoid hostility during the project and especially if others are working with us. Twice she has tried to claim me as a partner or make me a part of her group.

The first time as her solo partner and the second time in a bigger group. Both times our teacher refused. This made her realize what I’d done. She told her parents, they went to the principal and demanded a meeting with me and my mom.

Mom went but left me out of it and explained why to the principal and told him she didn’t think the first time I meet my “father” should be when he wants to berate me for not working with his daughter.

They tried to say I was b**lying their daughter and I should be facing suspension OR be forced to make it up to her through some kind of buddy program. The principal didn’t take it seriously.

But his daughter and son now stare at me a lot more in school the last couple of weeks, since the meeting, and a couple of her friends said I was such a d**k for embarrassing her like that and not getting to know her.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Mysterious_Agent7737 −  NTA. Be polite (like extremely polite no ma’am i do not wish to engage in conversation with you have a wonderful day excuse me ,walk away polite) when they talk to you so you don’t get accused of b**lying, but no need to be friends. 

If your father wants you to have a relationship with his family then he needs to have a relationship with you first.  As far as their staring and her friends telling you that you were a d**k that is b**lying. 

Tell a trusted teacher about the incidents say you just want to let them know it is happening no need to interfere it might blow over but if they escalate then you have already noted to a teacher you were uncomfortable with them before hand.  

BarracudaUpstairs −  NTA – the girls parents handled this horribly. It was her dad’s job to explain why their is animosity and take the blame for the root issue.

perpetuallyxhausted −  NTA you’ve never even met her dad, but now she wants to be all buddy-buddy with you because of your supposed “connection” though him? No way. She’s young but she needs to learn boundaries and how to respect when people say no.

Sidenote: NGL I think I’d have loved to see the principals face when your mum said “I don’t think the first time my 16yo son meets his bio-dad is cause bio-dad has called him to the principals office over a conflict with his other teen kid” 😂

Brother-Cane −  NTA, but if you know where the l**er is now, why isn’t your mother pursuing the money she is owed?

MeMyselfAndI8480 −  It’s absurd to claim you’re b**lying someone, when you’ve gone out of your way to make arrangements so you have no contact with her. Ignoring her is the complete opposite of bulling, and if anything, she’s harassing you, by constantly pushing the issue. You’re definitely NTA.

I feel you did the mature and appropriate thing by addressing this privately with your teacher, rather than make a scene in front of her or the whole class. Her inability to accept “NO” as answer is her problem, and you are under no obligation to get to know her or accept her.

procrastinating_b −  NTA It’s easy for the child with the ‘perfect’ family to want to be the one to connect. I’m sorry you are going though this.

PanicAtTheGaslight −  You are NTA. There’s a very relatable scene from Grey’s Anatomy… Lexie: I am a nice person, okay? I… I am and I don’t know what it is that I did to you but you know… We have the same dad, so I was just thinking that a simple conversation…

Meredith: We don’t have the same dad, Lexie. You and I, we do not have the same dad. My dad disappeared when I was five years old and I never saw him again. Does that sound like the dad you grew up with? I kicked a man out of my bed in the middle of the night. The world’s most perfect man, who loves me.

And I can’t let him. And it doesn’t take a shrink to figure it out why. Because our dad chose you. So I’m sure you are a very nice girl, Lexie. But I hope you can understand, you’re not a girl I ever wanted to have to know

slendermanismydad −  be forced to make it up to her through some kind of buddy program. What? What the f**k? Your mom needs to sue his ass.  But his daughter and son now stare at me a lot more in school the last couple of weeks, since the meeting, and a couple of her friends said I was such a d**k for embarrassing her like that and not getting to know her.

Did you tell these assholes that your sperm donor is not relevant to your life. Why would they all come back? What the hell is that girl crying about? She didn’t get abandoned. 

BackgroundCarpet1796 −  So daddy is back in town? Time to get that late child support! Anyway, NTA. I’m actually impressed with how your school handled the situation.

Only_Caterpillar6412 −  NTA – It is entirely your choice who you allow into your life, especially when the past history is what it is. Of course it could be great to have a relationship with half-siblings, but given the circumstances I completely understand your disposition.

Good to hear your school is understanding of where you are coming from and good on you for standing up for and advocating for your right to choose.

Should he set boundaries, or is he being too harsh? Share your thoughts below!