AITA for not letting my mom spend the night?

A Redditor, recently married, is in a tricky situation regarding her relationship with her parents. They’ve been cold toward her husband, whom they didn’t approve of, and now her mother is demanding to spend the night at their home to visit her daughter.

The user offered to pay for a hotel, but her mother was offended, leaving her feeling torn between respecting her husband’s comfort and maintaining a relationship with her family. Read her full story below for more context.

‘ AITA for not letting my mom spend the night?’

Am I the ashole for not letting my mom spend the night at our home? Story: just married 6 months ago. My husband and my parents are on somewhat strained but civil terms. My parents wanted me to marry someone rich and I eloped after 3 years of dating a blue collar man. I don’t regret it.

My parents were so mad at me dating him and my dad at one point told me my now-husband can’t go on his property. Anyways, fast forward to us actually biting the bullet and getting married. I live 2 hours away from my parents and my mom says she won’t come visit me unless she spends the night at my house.

I offered to buy her a hotel room and she got so offended. It’s just awkward situation between my husband and my parents. He is civil and will attend major family get together as with me but otherwise there really isn’t much communication.

My sister married a rich man and my parent were so supportive and opened their house to him. I feel bad because I do love my mom, but I do think a little space is healthy. I also feel manipulated that she won’t even come visit unless she spends the night.

I do day trips to visit them at least every month or two. Any advice is appreciated. My husband says he doesn’t trust them and he has good reasons. But he is civil and never gives me a hard time for seeing them.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Waste_Worker6122 −  NTA. Your Mom only lives 2 hours away. She does not want to come and spend the night to socialize. She wants to come and spend the night to stir s**t.

She could easily visit for the day/evening and drive home. She could easily stay in a hotel as you attempted to organize. Her demand to stay over night is a ruse. Don’t fall for it.

Obvious-Slice6680 −  So your mom and dad don’t open their house to your husband? Then you don’t open your house to your parents. Simple as that?. NTA.

AsuraRathalos −  NTA why would she want to stay in “your husband’s lowly household” does she understand she’s going to be staying in a blue collar house? Lol. But seriously my advice won’t be popular, however, you should confirm her possible insanity.

Let her stay over one solid time, even give her a warning to behave, and then let her aholery shine. Be ready to record as well, but do it on a random day/weekend, not anyone’s bday or holidays

JollySwimmerHere −  NTA –if you aren’t fully trusting her, I don’t think you have any reason to open up your house to her…. Outside of short visits.

WillLoveCoffee4Ever1 −  NTA! Why does you mother want to visit? So she can ignore your husband and belittle everything under your roof? His financial status hasn’t changed, so why is she willing to stay at your “other side of the tracks” home?

Meanwhile, people like that who place value on a person because of their financial status, should be ashamed of themselves. As long as he treats you well, what difference does it make how much he’s worth?

Fun_Fee1939 −  I’m with your husband, I don’t trust this either. I would tell her she can stay at a hotel or stay home.

DryPoetry6 −  NTA. If she won’t visit unless she stays over, just say no. then she won’t visit. Win-win. Get the promise to not come over, in writing.

Maatable −  NTA for not letting your mom stay over, but I don’t know that I could have a relationship with my parents if they treated my husband like absolute garbage, so Y T A for that.

CombinationAny870 −  NTA but mom won’t open her home to your husband but you’re expected to let her into yours? That’s hypocritical

Excellent-Count4009 −  NTA. A reasonable boundary. Make it a HARD NO.

Is the Redditor being reasonable in her boundaries to protect her new family dynamic, or should she compromise more to keep the peace with her mom? How would you navigate these family tensions? Share your thoughts below!