AITA for saying my babysitting rates are $35 an hour?

A Reddit user shared a situation where they were asked by their cousin to babysit her three kids over the Christmas break. The user, who works as a software engineer and also does freelance coding work, valued their time at $35 an hour for the babysitting gig, feeling that the stress of looking after three kids was worth that amount.

However, the cousin and her husband were outraged by the rate, accusing her of being entitled. The user is now questioning if they were unreasonable in their pricing. Read the full story below to see if you agree with their stance.

‘ AITA for saying my babysitting rates are $35 an hour?’

I’m a software engineer, with a full time job and a side hustle of doing freelance coding work in my own time. I’ve always been the type to have a side hustle I put a lot of my free time into; I get really bored sitting idle.
My freelance hourly rates are $60 an hour, and at my full time job, my hourly pay works out to about $40 an hour. So that’s how I value my time.

Anyway, over Christmas vacation, I was staying at my parents house. My cousin was also staying over with her three young kids from Christmas to new year’s. I’d been planning on doing some work on my freelance projects when I had free time; in the mornings when my family had no plans. I wasn’t in any rush; I was already ahead of schedule on them all, but I didn’t really have anything else to do. It was in a really rural area and it’s like an hour drive to the nearest anything.

Then my cousin and her husband asked if I could babysit all day for three days, so they could visit some friends in the area and hang out with just adults. I said I had planned on doing freelance work at the library, and she offered to pay me to babysit.

I said I could if they got close to my freelance rates. She wanted a number, and although my freelance rates are $60 I didn’t feel like that was right, it was high. But I didn’t want to go too low; honestly babysitting 3 kids would be harder for me than the routine coding work I had for my freelance project. I don’t know a lot about kids and I’ve never babysat for long, and I had a feeling it would be stressful and difficult.

So I said $35, which is below what I make hourly at work, and what is the bare minimum I’d value my time for, if that time is spent doing difficult work. And she went crazy at me, saying that’s a ridiculous rate for babysitting, that I was entitled and being s**fish, that I’m trying to take advantage of how she didn’t have other options, etc. I said that’s way below what I’d be making if I had the time to do my own work, and I’d be putting off my own work to babysit.

Her husband then got mad at me saying that I was a 24 year old girl, that I’m damn near a child myself, that my time is not worth that much and it’s childish to say that it was. And that I was a stupid girl for not knowing that babysitting costs like 15 an hour, when I grew up and have kids of my own I will see how stupid I was being.

I was kind of done with being called stupid so I just told them I hoped they could find someone else. My mom thinks that I asked for something offensive, and my cousin and her husband obviously did too.. AITA for giving that number?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Phy44 −  NTA. 3 kids all day, for 3 straight days? Even real babysitters would charge more than 15 for 3 kids. Obviously they wanted you to do it as a favor, and got upset that you treated it as an actual job.

runthereszombies −  NTA. If they really wanted to go away for three days they should have arranged a sitter in advance. The husband saying you’re a 24 year old girl (btw, you’re a woman at 24…) and your time isn’t worth anything is ridiculous considering you’d get paid $60 an hour if you don’t babysit their kids.The husband sounds like a sexist d**k.

Plus you told them you wouldn’t babysit if they couldn’t approach your rate. You probably should have just said no from the start but you did inform them that it would be expensive. Don’t worry about it too much.

Wikidess −  NTA
And she went crazy at me, saying that’s a ridiculous rate for babysitting, that I was entitled and being s**fish, that I’m trying to take advantage of how she didn’t have other options, etc. I would have bowed out immediately and told her to have fun dealing with NO options.

Her husband then got mad at me saying that I was a 24 year old girl, that I’m damn near a child myself, that my time is not worth that much and it’s childish to say that it was. And that I was a stupid girl for not knowing that babysitting costs like 15 an hour, when I grew up and have kids of my own I will see how stupid I was being. Yes, what a stupid girl you are for knowing what your time is worth 🙄

Superbia18 −  NTA. A. If they need a babysitter that badly they should’ve arranged for one in advance.
B. You’re being asked to baby sit three kids. Three kids is a lot of work, $15 sounds kinda absurd to me.

C. You have your own life and an actual job that you would be neglecting (or free lance at least) that is worth almost double that amount.
D. The only offensive ones are your cousin and husband who started calling you names when you didn’t bend to their will.

Lyn1987 −  NTA. You’re a “stupid little girl” who pulls $60/hour freelancing. I just started salesforce training and I’d be happy to make half that freelancing. Good for you!
Edit: to everyone saying “she should’ve said no” **she did** she explicitly told them she was going to the library to do some coding work. That’s when they offered to pay her.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. She offered to pay you, you named your price, she didn’t like it. Maybe she expected a discount. I would have gone with NAH except you actually named a price that isn’t outside the norm compared to the going rates in my area. The general rule used to be $15 an hour for one kid, $20 an hour for 2 kids, but she has three young ones. When I had 3 younger kids I was quoted $30 an hour.

someoneelsesusername −  NTA. If your mom and husband are so bothered by it, why arent they babysitting?

akiomaster −  NTA, because asking someone who is also on vacation to watch your kids for 3 days is kind of s**tty. An evening, sure, but 3 whole days is crazy.

a_canadian_cannibal −  NTA. your time, your rates. To anyone saying “it’s not fair to charge that much” – the price is the price, nobody OWES you cheap child care (Especially during the holidays at the last minute for several days) – honestly $60 seems reasonable to me, $20 per b**t per hour. Don’t like it? Find someone else or maybe spend your holidays with your own damn kids instead of foisting them off on others.

greg_r_ −  Gonna have to go with ESH here. You should have simply stated that you cannot babysit because you’re working, period. If you agreed to babysit, you would be making a conscious decision to not work (and earn). Charging family members $35 an hour to babysit, however, puts you in a**hole category in the real world (as much as internet bubbles like reddit may disagree). Your family members are assholes too for the way they reacted, and for not arranging for a babysitter for three days.