AITA for telling the girl who kissed my boyfriend for a play that she is desperate and pathetic?

A Reddit user shared her story about confronting a classmate who was making moves on her boyfriend after a stage kiss in their university play. When this classmate, who often tries to get close to him during rehearsals, started bragging about the “spark” she felt from the kiss, the user finally snapped, calling her desperate and pathetic in front of others.

Now, the user is feeling some guilt, especially as the classmate is known to be insecure, but she still wonders if her reaction was justified. Read the full story below to see if you agree with her response.

‘ AITA for telling the girl who kissed my boyfriend for a play that she is desperate and pathetic?’

I (19f) study drama at uni, and my boyfriend is on the same course. My boyfriend is a really good-looking guy, but he doesn’t seem to know it. He gets a lot of attention from girls and for the most part, doesn’t seem to get that they’re flirting with him. I’m not generally annoyed by this, and never really say anything. However, there’s one girl in our class, let’s call her Victoria, who is obsessed with my boyfriend.

She goes out of her way to be paired with him in group activities (for example, if the professor picks groups by numbering us 1, 2, 3, she will move herself to be in the same number as him) and she recently stepped down from a main role in a play we’re doing so she could be in a more minor one, simply because this character has a romance with my boyfriend. I know this is the case, because I’ve heard her say to her friends that she thinks he’s hot and what not.

I’ve never said anything to her about it, because she seems pretty insecure (always complaining about how she thinks she’s u**y) and I don’t see it as a big deal because my boyfriend doesn’t care. However, we recently performed the play and had a small afterparty where she got slightly drunk and was bragging about how she ‘definitely felt something’ when they kissed in the play and she’s ‘going to ask him if he felt the same’.

I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went up to my boyfriend. She was a little bit drunk, and when she went up to him I was there too. Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he’s a really good kisser, etc. I snapped, and sort of shouted at her that ‘you sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else’s boyfriend. You’re pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together.’

She looked super embarrassed and walked away, and I later heard she’d gone home crying. I feel like a d**k because she’s obviously insecure and whatnot, and her friends haven’t stopped calling me a b**ch since. AITA?
Edit: She 100% knows that I am his girlfriend, I have heard her talking about me being his girlfriend before.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

proteins911 −  NTA. She took it WAY too far. Approaching him about it was out of line.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. She’s been trying to get at your boyfriend for a while, and you maturely didn’t engage, because it was clear that she didn’t have a chance. She literally came up to him, when you were right next to him, and tried to have a conversation about “feelings”. That’s ridiculous, and you were trying be nice at first, but I don’t think you had to be, after that happened. Thinking that a stage kiss meant something with someone else’s boyfriend is pathetic. Seemed like she wasn’t going to stop until she heard that.

Maaanwhocares −  NTA, she was delusional and you bought her back down to earth. Needed to happen, you tried to ignore it but she kept pushing.

Voidg −  NTA. I will assume she was aware you two were dating. Therefore to approach your boyfriend and try to begin a relationship with him right in front of you is very disrespectful. She clearly does not care that you are in a relationship and instead wants what she wants and does not care who she hurts. Sure you were a bit harsh. However it was the truth.

ErrantJune −  ESH. You’re teenage drama students, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that there’s so much teenage drama here, but come on. You couldn’t think of a more appropriate way to address this woman’s relentless and obvious daily pursuit of your boyfriend over the course of weeks (if not months) than shouting at her at a party in order to humiliate her?

You couldn’t, I don’t know, at any time just say, “Hey, I don’t know if you realize but \[boyfriend\] and I are in a committed relationship”???. You all need to grow up.

[Reddit User] −  all the “you should have talked to her about it” comments are b**lshit and yall know it. What do you think she should have done?? There was no chance to talk to her about it. OP ignored until this girl forced the issue to the point she had to say something. NTA.

jclausr −  ESH. She’s terrible for hitting on your BF, but your BF is also capable of handling himself since you’re both adults making your blowup at the party not justified.

DerPicasso −  NTA, she is pathetic.

xz03yx −  INFO does she for sure know you are dating? To do it in front of you like that might make it seem like she doesn’t realise. Especially if she has been doing it for a while without you saying anything. Not defending her of course. Just wondering. Edit: OP confirmed girl knew, so that was s**tty of her.

To OP, I don’t think you did anything most people wouldn’t do, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it was the best option. Like you said yourself, she most likely has a low self esteem and took things way too seriously. Not to mention we all do dumb things when drink is involved. But I want to reiterate that you are not a bad person, even if it could have been handled better.

kidcuddly1 −  NTA – Play with fire and she got burned! You don’t do dumb s**t in front of a couple. Glad you stood your ground, hopefully she will have learned her lesson.