AITA for disrespecting my mom and comparing her to her sister?
A Reddit user, an 18-year-old female, shares an emotional argument with her mom. While defending herself from being ignored, the user’s mom compares her to her cousin, criticizing her grades and behavior. Feeling hurt, the user then compares her mom to her aunt, pointing out how her cousin’s mom is more understanding.
This leads to a heated confrontation where the mother accuses her of disrespect and not being grateful. Now, the user feels guilty and wonders if she was wrong to react this way. To read the full story, see the original post below…
‘ AITA for disrespecting my mom and comparing her to her sister?’
I (18)F had an argument with my mom earlier and i was defending myself as she kept ignoring me which she later resembled as “talking back”. And then she got upset and started comparing me to my cousin and how she gets better grades and she doesn’t talk back to her mom which really hurt me.
I told her to not compare me to anyone because it hurts but she said that it’ll teach me how to improve myself and become a better person, what she said hurt me and made me snap so I started comparing her to my cousin’s mom (her sister). About how she listens to her kids and tries to understand their feelings better.
and she got furious as soon as I said those words and told me that I can’t say such things to her and that I should be respectful because she’s my mom and that’s no way to talk to her like that. She made me feel even. More guilty and seem like the bad guy. AITA
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Loquacious555 − I think it was brilliant! Well played my dear! She doesn’t like being compared either as it seems. Good for you. Maybe next time tell her you need more constructive criticisms not comparisons. NTA.
yorgun_0073 − NTA. It sounds like you were just trying to make a point about how comparisons can be hurtful—so flipping it back on her might have been the only way to make her understand how it feels.
It’s hard to navigate these conversations without someone feeling defensive, but you’re not wrong for wanting a little respect and understanding. Hopefully, this can lead to a conversation about better ways to communicate without dragging other people into it.
Severe-Hope-9151 − NTA, sadly many people don’t like the light being shined back at them. Sounds like you were fair and simply mirrored what your mother did.
mimic-man77 − NTA. She said comparisons are ok so you used a comparison.
CarbonationRequired − HAHA NTA. She was so mad because you were right and she felt it.. Not the bad guy.
mrsagc90 − NTA
Defiant-Ad-8178 − NTA. Moms just don’t get it sometimes u know I totally get that u just snapped after she started comparing u to ur cousin like yeah that’s super hurtful and she had to know that by now ur literally just defending urself.
And tbh it’s so unfair for her to hold u to some standard of someone else plus like moms wanna be respected but they don’t realize respect goes both ways she shouldn’t be guilt tripping u for just speaking up
kalipersephone − NTA. Unsurprising that she didn’t like a small taste of her own medicine. Respect is earned, not demanded. It hurt her feelings to be compared to her sister and her better parenting, but she lacks the awareness and empathy to realize the point you were trying to make.
macross1984 − NTA. Your mother is giving you mental b**ly treatment and does not respect you. What you merely did was give her the dose of her own medicine. She doesn’t like it? Well, now she’ll know why you don’t like it.
B**ly like to dish out but hate getting dished instead. Make you feel guilty? Too bad, so sad. You shouldn’t take it face down.. Brilliant return on your part.
Do you think the Reddit user’s response was justified, or did she go too far in comparing her mom to her aunt? Was her mom’s criticism too harsh, or was the user being disrespectful? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below!