AITA for not letting my sister have her way at my wedding?

A Redditor shared how he had to make a tough call regarding his sister’s role in his wedding. Originally chosen as a bridesmaid, his sister became upset when asked to wear the same dress as the other bridesmaids, despite having months to plan for any alterations due to her pregnancy.

Her refusal to compromise led him to replace her with a backup, causing tension with his family. Read the full story below to see how he handled this delicate wedding dilemma.

‘ AITA for not letting my sister have her way at my wedding? ?’

I recently got married, and during my wedding process, my sister was supposed to be a bridesmaid. now, my engagement was 9 months in length, and we told her that I would be a bridesmaid once I got engaged.

When my fiance first started dress shopping, she told my sister she wanted all bridesmaids to wear the same style and color. my fiance asked if she should look at maternity-style dresses so my sister could work on the family expansion, which she had been discussing for the past three years.

My sister said that it was going not to be an issue and we didn’t need to worry about her. So, my fiance picked a dress that she was ok with. A couple of months later, my sister announced she was pregnant. My fiance contacted her to see how she could help her with the dress alterations. My sister said she would figure it out.

Well, five months later, it’s a month before our wedding, and my sister calls me in a fit of rage, saying that I am not allowing her to be a part of my big day. I need to change the dress. It’s f****** stupid bad; she has to wear the same dress style, and I need to let her wear a different dress than the other bridesmaids.

At this point, I told her no, she needed to figure it out, and she had a five-plus month plan for this, or she could have told me to back out. For reference sake, we are 3 weeks away from our actual wedding date.

At this point as At this point as well my sister plays on my parents emotions and has my mom and my father start pressuring me into changing and allowing my sister to have her way.

Now granted, the matching is something that both my fiance and I wanted all the groomsmen to match the Bridesmaid’s match with a bit of OCD. I had to remove my sister from the bridesmaid party because she could not get into the dress;

I had to pay for another dress and make-up for a backup bridesmaid. Now, my family doesn’t talk to me, and my wife feels we’re being excommunicated because we didn’t let my sister have what she wanted at my wedding. Am I the asshome for telling them that they were all in the wrong?

See what others had to share with OP:

mdthomas −  She has months to find a way to make the dress work but waits until three weeks before the wedding to demand she be allowed to wear a different dress?. NTA

Ok_Conversation9750 −  “My sister said she would figure it out” So her solution was to pitch a fit and blame everyone but herself. Kick her out of the wedding party entirely – no one needs an entitled b**t at their wedding!

accidentallywitchy −  You’re sister sounds like an entitled a**hole. Golden child of the family by any chance ?. You are NTA.

baka-tari −  The wedding is all about the couple getting married, pretty much everyone else is irrelevant. Your sister had ample time to address any issues around her pregnancy and the dress she had to wear, but likely procrastinated and realized way too late that she had a problem.

She made it your problem, and you solved it, just not how she wanted it solved. NTA. Too bad your sister can’t participate, but hopefully you’ll enjoy a wedding day with less drama

TemptingPenguin369 −  NTA. I love that with months in which to “figure out out,” your sister waited till three weeks before the actual wedding. Very s**fish move on her part. Did she not realize her body would change shape during a pregnancy?

Basic_Dig1720 −  You’re *not* the bad guy here. From the sound of it, you gave your sister plenty of time and options, even asking upfront if a maternity dress would be better since she’d been talking about family planning.

She told y’all it wouldn’t be an issue, so it’s only natural you took her at her word and moved forward with a plan to keep things matching just like y’all wanted. Honestly, it sounds like you and your fiancé tried to be fair and thoughtful, and it’s a shame it turned into this.

When she changed her mind last minute and made a fuss, you were already knee-deep in wedding prep, and there’s just no easy way to change things that late in the game without piling on stress. It’s tough when family starts chiming in, too, especially when you’re just trying to keep things organized and stick to the plan.

It’s your day, and you deserve to have it feel right for y’all. Maybe after some time, your family will realize you weren’t trying to make things difficult—you were simply holding everyone to the plan that was set. Letting go of family pressure isn’t easy, but you did what you thought was best.

Jeralynsh −  Tell me your sister is a n**cissist without telling me your sister is a n**cissist.

Prestigious_Blood_38 −  NTA. And with her throwing a fit, why would you want her as a bridesmaid anyway?

andromache97 −  INFO: if your sister had said “hey i’m gonna be pregnant” before the dress shopping happened, would y’all have really made all the other bridesmaids wear a maternity dress? i just think that kinda sucks lol. anyway NTA in this situation. but lucky for the bridesmaids who don’t have to wear a maternity style dress now!

PhilaBurger −  “You know what, sis? Feel free to wear whichever dress you like. Please note, however, that you’ll be doing so as as a regular guest and no longer a bridesmaid.”. NTA

Was it fair for the bride and groom to prioritize the matching dress choice, or should they have accommodated the sister’s request? How would you handle family expectations and boundaries in a situation like this? Share your thoughts below!