Update : on refusing to raise husband’s affair child?

A Reddit user recently updated her story about the legal settlement reached with her ex-husband after deciding not to raise his child from an affair. The agreement includes a substantial financial settlement, clear custody arrangements for their son, and specific boundaries regarding her ex’s new child.

This resolution is aimed at preserving stability and protecting her son’s future while allowing him supervised access to his father and new sibling. Read the full story below for more details on how she’s handling this complex situation.

‘ Update : on refusing to raise husband’s affair child ?’

We have a settlement without big issues. I am getting two million usd in settlement..and we won’t drag this case. I will invest most in my son’s name. Because if tomorrow i remarry. I don’t want anyone to access to my son’s inheritance, in case something happens to me.

He will also pay for son’s private schooling as well as college. I will be primary custodian. But he and in laws will have access to son. And we don’t live far ( 5 kms ). So I won’t stop from my son visiting them with supervision under his nanny frm my side till he growsup old enough and his new sibling.

Although he keeps missing dad and why are we not together? I have told him it’s that mom and dad have different work reasons. That’s why. I also made clear to my ex and in laws that if my son got brainwashed or something. I will drag them to court.

Also to never force his new kid on me during meets etc. I won’t stop my son to meet his half brother. But I won’t want that kid in my house or in my life. This is update for now. We don’t want to drag case as it takes years. And it will be hit on his reputation

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

CyberArwen1980 −  He lied to you by omission. Go and live your life the best you can, unfortunatelly there are other women out there who couldn’t have the chance to get divorce. So you are a “lucky” one. Stay strong and Best of wishes to you and your son

Buttercup_Bubbles −  It sounds like you’re securing a good future for your son and setting clear boundaries. Stay strong and focus on him.

I_wanna_be_anemone −  The only thing I’d say is to look into therapy for a way to explain in an age appropriate way to your son that your husband lied to you and wasn’t a good husband.

Your son needs to know what not to do as he grows up, that there are consequences for lying and controlling behaviour because people will not (and should not) tolerate it. 

Haunting_Green_1786 −  Hi Op… thanks for a good update.. Wishing you happy Diwali holiday.

Bfan72 −  You can now go back to the woman that you were before you got married. Which includes choosing what you want to wear. Anytime someone has to change their looks for a spouse or partner it is abuse.

Secret_Double_9239 −  After experiencing something like this I would recommend you take a year to yourself. Reconnect with yourself and really get to know who you are/what you want before you consider dating or a new relationship.

MiserableCheddar −  Look’s fair and reasonable, don’t see anything wrong

rainbookworm −  Happy Diwali OP. Glad that you got out of this situation. Tell your son the truth when he’s old enough to understand—it’s better if he hears it from you. Edit: he’s already 7?Consider telling him the truth because god knows what he’ll learn from your lying, cheating husband and in-laws

OodlesofCanoodles −  You don’t need to invest it in his name now…  it’s going to negatively cause him taxes… You put things in a trust.
Please get a financial planner!!  

Love-and-literature3 −  Is he paying for your son to have a home, too? I probably would have included some sort of property ownership clause in the agreement.

What do you think about the user’s approach to setting boundaries for her son’s relationship with his half-sibling? How would you handle a similar situation to balance family ties with personal boundaries? Share your thoughts below!