AITA for asking that my fiancè’s nieces and nephews not attend our wedding??

A Reddit user is facing a dilemma over whether to make her wedding childfree, specifically to avoid her fiancé’s young nieces and nephews, who tend to be disruptive.

She’s concerned that this decision might offend her fiancé’s siblings, but the alternative, eloping, means missing out on having her closest family present.

With conflicting feelings, she’s considering the best way forward. Should she risk the family drama or consider other options? Read her story below for the full details.

‘ AITA for asking that my fiancè’s nieces and nephews not attend our wedding? ?’

My partner (male 35) and I (female 30) got engaged this year. I love my partner very much. However, I don’t really click with his family. Nothing personal, no issues or arguments, just different people and I keep to myself.

My partner has two older siblings who have young children and babies. The children are not well behaved. They are often demanding, have tantrums to get their own way, meltdown/cry and yell over minor things etc.

I don’t really want a wedding with them present. However, I believe my partner’s siblings will be offended if we ask for a childfree wedding. I still want to ask that they do not attend.

If it causes too much trouble, I guess the next option is to elope. I lose out by eloping too, as I won’t have my closest family members with me on my wedding day. But I don’t really see another option.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

jma7400 −  If it’s a child free wedding then NTA. If this kids are not invited but others are the YTA.

Effective_Hearing_79 −  I’ve read your comments in addition to the post. I’ve got in-laws of my own and unfortunately getting married does mean they become your family. You may not like them but you will see them at holidays and other big moments in your life.

Your fiancé’s family is just as important to him as your family is to you. I think you’re NTA for wanting a child free wedding but I strongly suggest shifting your philosophy on what it means to be married and joining families. 

Worth-Season3645 −  YWBTA….if you specifically asked that his nieces and nephews not attend. Make it a child free wedding. Or have a separate room with activities and food and a sitter or two for children under a certain age.

National_Pension_110 −  INFO: Does your fiancé 100% agree with you? Would there be no exceptions (like no one else gets to bring children or babies)? Is this a hill you’re willing to die on, even if it creates a bigger rift between you and his family?

If the answer to all three is yes, then make the announcement. But consider other options, like a formal ceremony where no children attend, but a reception that accommodates your relatives and friends who have children.

A wedding is not just another instagrammable party—it’s supposed to be a celebration and marriage of two families. By skipping this ritual, you miss an opportunity to strengthen a bond that you admit is already weak.

And trust me, it’s a lot harder to build your relationship with your soon-to-be husband if you have unnecessarily alienated his family. It’s not just a chance for your fiancé to meet your family—it’s supposed to cut both ways.

Even_Budget2078 −  INFO. “My partner *doesn’t seem* to want them there either but does not want to offend his siblings.” Hmmm, this is extremely vague. Please clarify your partner’s position on this. By TALKING to him in much more detail before posting on Reddit if necessary…

thewhiterosequeen −  Seems more like a decision for you’re fiance than your unilateral preference. 

Trevena_Ice −  INFO: What does your partner think about leaving the children out of the wedding. It could ruin his relationship to his siblings and that would be a cruel start into your marriage. As long as he doesn’t want to cut his family out, you are not marrying only him but also get his family as a bonus.

JustARandomGuyReally −  “It’s your wedding, you have every right.” Y’all love absolutes. Ummm, it’s their partner’s wedding too, and maybe having their niblings there is really important to them?

TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. There are options like kid-free wedding or on-site babysitting. But don’t listen to the people telling you that it’s your unilateral decision, that’s no way to start a partnership.

Then-Dragonfruit-702 −  YTA for seemingly not getting your fiancé ‘s input in this. While I agree that it’s difficult, there are other compromises too – we had a kid’s area and nannies at our wedding, away from the main events, so their parents could still be present and enjoy the day.

They all behaved SO WELL despite our fears because they were so excited to be part of the wedding. And if you already aren’t gelling with the family this could take you into villain territory for them so I would also watch out for that…

HunterDHunter −  Oh so you want all of YOUR closest family and friends there, but HIS family isn’t good enough to be at your wedding. Ridiculous, shouldn’t have even crossed your mind. Gotta take the good with the bad honey. S**k it up buttercup and make sure there are some chicken fingers and french fries on the menu.

Is it fair to request a childfree wedding, even if it risks offending family members? How would you balance a special day with family dynamics? Share your thoughts and suggestions in the comments!