AITA for “being disrespectful” and telling my parents “good luck with that” when they tried to ground me?

A college student (28F) who has been paying rent to her parents since 16, as she owns a successful small business, chose to spend her final spring break in Mexico instead of attending her family’s Easter gathering. When her parents attempted to “ground” her as punishment, she responded with sarcasm,

claiming that as a paying tenant, her time should be her own. Afterward, she moved to an Airbnb, preparing for her post-graduation job, and left rent for her last two months at home. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for “being disrespectful” and telling my parents “good luck with that” when they tried to ground me?’

I live at home while going to university. I’m in my final year and I have a job lined up after I graduate. My parents have been charging me rent since I was 16. I have a small company that makes me about $60,000 a year. I started it in high school.

It is one of the reasons I graduated early from high school and why I got attention from recruiters. My parents said that since I was earning adult money I could take in adult responsibilities. I thought that was fair. So I paid for all my own stuff starting at age 16. Not university. I got a scholarship.

And the rent they charged me was minor. $300 a month. But I basically considered my room to be completely mine after that. I kept it tidy because I like it that way. But they had no say in when I cleaned it. When I did my laundry, other than to not do it at a time when I would disturb the family for example 3 AM.

I bought food for myself and I ate when I wanted. They tried to say I was separating myself from the family but I saw it more as having my own schedule.
This year for spring break I went down to Mexico with friends. My parents were upset because they were hosting a big Easter family get together.

When I got back they said I was behaving badly by not being around for a family gathering. I said it was my last spring break in university and that I was not responsible for their schedule. They said I was grounded and I laughed and said good luck with that. I went to my room and locked the door.

They tried banging on it for my attention but I’m done. My grandfather came over to talk to me later. He is the one ho helped me get my company started and he is always there for me. He said that I was rude to my parents when they were trying to be there for me.

I asked him how much rent he charged my mom when she lived at home. He said it was ridiculous to think he would charge his kids rent. I told him that I had been paying rent for four years. He went into the house and I herd a fight.

When he came out he said that I need to treat my parents with more respect but that since they are my landlords they do not have a say over how I spend my time. I’m avoiding my parents for now and I’m renting on Airbnb right now until I graduate.

I took everything that was important to me and I left $600 for the last two months I had planned on being there. They keep calling me but I am currently getting ready to move for my new job. I don’t have the energy to deal with them.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

HUNGWHITEBOI25 −  …they tried to ground a grown adult…who pays their own bills and works full time…? Yeah youre NTA not by a long shot but…why dont’s you just move out…? Legit don’t see a reason for you to stay there

Odd_Welcome7940 −  NTA… They crossed a line they drew in the sand. They treated you like an adult with all the adult responsibilities then wanted to treat you like a kid when it suited them. That doesn’t work. When you hand a teen all the responsibility of being an adult some ego always follows.

What did they expect? Someday you may look back and nitpick about the exact words you used to respond. I don’t know your parents maybe the fully deserved those exact words. Maybe they didn’t. Your over all arguement and intent though? That was spot on.

The fact they hid this from grandpa but wanted to call him to scold you? That tells me they have some of their own faults they don’t want to admit to. That tells me this is 99% on them.

SonOfDadOfSam −  NTA – They’re trying to have it both ways. Treat you like an adult when it comes to money, and like a child when it suits them. Just tell them they don’t get to make you pay for your life AND control it at the same time. They said you were an adult, they should treat you like one.

Chewy-Vuitton44 −  NTA – Personally, I think its ***crazy*** that they’re charging you rent (like you would an adult) and then have the audacity to A. ground you (like you would a child), and B. try to tell you where you can and can’t be if you want to travel.

It sounds like you have a stable income, and assuming you’re responsible with your money – moving out and going to the Airbnb was smart. Take some space before things could get rocky. You’re entitled to your feelings – and it sounds like they are trying to control an adult.

Quick-Possession-245 −  *No. I was not separating from my family at 16. They started charging me rent at 16. Also my company made $12,000 the first year.* With this comment, NTA. They should not have been charging you rent at 16 when your business was so new and not as profitable.

$12,000 is not adult money. And, they were not paying for your university. In many ways, it seems that through charging you rent they separated you from the family. Even if you went to university at 16, you were still an adolescent.

durtibrizzle −  Nta, obviously. What’s the business?

[Reddit User] −  They tried to ground a 20 year old? Paying rent or not that blows my mind 🤣

[Reddit User] −  Ok, first of all, congratulations on having that type of business success in high school. No, NTA, you’re an adult, paying rent, with a job. They don’t have a say in your schedule and they can’t really ground you at this point. Good move on renting an airbnb and I wish you success in your endeavors.

IamIrene −  NTA. They charge you a small rent to ease you into adulthood and you fully embrace it and take on paying for everything for yourself and now they’re upset that you’re actually being independent?. O_O When a tenant pays rent, that space is effectively theirs.

The landlord can’t legally enter the rental space without 24 hours notice (USA). They want to treat you like a tenant but don’t want to act like a landlord. Also, assuming you are a legal adult, they *grounded* you? LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Good luck indeed.Best wishes on your bright and shiny future! And I hope you can, at some point, forgive your parents, they know not what they do.

DragoBrokeMe −  Based on the facts given, it sounds like you weren’t asked to pay your way out of financial duress on your parents part (grandfather shocked, the low rent). But your parents are now dealing with the consequences of turning their son into a full-time tenant.

Does your grandfather know that you’re responsible for all your own meals as well? It’d be one thing to be asked to chip in because you’re making a good salary but the way you write about it it sounds like you’re barely a part of the family anymore, just a guy who lives there.

Four years of that has clearly created a large division and now your parents have to figure out how to mend that, if they can.. NTA

Were her parents overstepping by trying to enforce a grounding, given her independence? Share your thoughts below!