AITA I let my 17 year old daughter sneak out ?

A mother allowed her 17-year-old daughter to “sneak out” as a one-time experience, knowing her whereabouts and plans, but kept it from her husband. When he discovered it, he wanted to discipline the daughter, feeling it was unsafe and undermining his parental role.

The mother feels it’s unnecessary to punish since she gave permission, though this disagreement may impact Thanksgiving. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA I let my 17 year old daughter sneak out ?’

My daughter turns 18 in a couple of months. She came to me and asked if she could have the experience of sneaking out. She told me who she would be with, what she would be doing and when. I said yes. I did not tell my husband, her stepdad. Well she didn’t put her screen back on the window.

When my husband noticed he came to talk to me about it. I told him that I gave her permission to sneak out. He wants to punish her. I said no because I gave her permission. He is really upset and it looks like this is going to ruin Thanksgiving.

She’s a good kid, currently has all A’s. He has been in her life since she was 5, and we sometimes buttheads about parenting styles. I just wanted to ask AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

somethinglucky07 −  I’m sorry, the idea of a daughter asking for permission to “sneak out” is just so cute! Good kids trying to be bad and have a tiny rebellious phase! NTA – I think the things to ask your husband are:

1- is he upset that you gave her permission to go out with friends without his knowing? If so, his issue is with you, not her.

2- is he upset that she crawled out the window instead of using the door? Because if the answer to 1 is no, if you’ve given her permission to go out before without running it by him, then the issue really becomes that she used a window instead of a door. Is that really a thing to punish a kid for?

Honestly, he should show her how to reattach the screen, and then be grateful that he has a kid whose biggest rebellious phase is checking with her mom before going out with friends, and then using the window instead of the door when she leaves. Let’s put this in perspective here!

Worried-1 −  NTA It sounds like a very cute request from a 17 yo. You did a good job raising her. I don’t understand what your husband has to be upset about? What does he want to punish her for?

He_Who_Is_Person −  You’re the mother. He’s the step-father. And you gave her permission. In fact, it’s not even “sneaking out” *because* you gave permission. It was roleplaying sneaking out. Your husband is being a giant ass.. NTA for not punishing her. It’d be sadistic to punish her for something you told her to do.

AndySM93 −  NTA and what an amazing duo! She wanted a different experience, and she asked for it… The fact that she messed up, shows only one thing, she didn’t do that before, she made mistakes that she wouldn’t do if it wasn’t the first time.

I don’t feel like you’re an AH for not telling your husband, yes, his been in her life for 13 years, he is a father to her, but it would definitely not be a sneak out if everyone knew… But I also see his point, as a father he is worried, being blind sided left him worrying.

But you knew everything that was going to happen, and if your kid asked permission for this, I’m dumb enough to believe that she is actually doing just what she said she would be doing. Once he discovered, you explained the situation, so I don’t think there’s a reason for any drama… It was just a small scare… I’ve done worst 😅

geekgirlwww −  NTA I’m sorry but your daughter is cute as a button. Your husband needs to chill the f**k out and let her be.

ElectricalHeart8834 −  If you punish her you send the wrong message. Being punished for something you have permission to do has some major adverse affects on people.

One thing that can happen, your daughter will just start keeping secrets since the conclusion for asking permission is identical to just doing it secretly. Dont punish her. Nta, great mother. Keep doing you. No comment on husband.

bobthefrogg −  NTA, she’s turning 18 soon, and she asked permission. Your husband is weird and a controlling AH.

Nicki-ryan −  NTA I snuck out when I was 16 and did same thing with forgetting the screen. My parents gave a me a small lecture but finally said, you’re going to be an adult soon, if you want to go out at night then you can do so, just please tell us so we can call you if there’s an emergency.That was that.

Never got in trouble again, never even wanted to go out that late again anyway. Your kid got straight up permission and is literally almost an adult. You don’t “punish” an adult with childish things like grounding or taking things away. Your partner seems insane for still wanting to punish her, nearly an adult, despite literally getting permission

SushiGuacDNA −  NTA. I love the idea of giving her a **very light punishment** for not replacing the screen. I mean, the whole point of “sneaking” is to not be caught, and she failed. However, your **husband deserves a serious spanking**.

Spare-Article-396 −  ESH. You should have told her dad. he’s been in her life helping you raise her for 12 years. It’s not like you’re newly married and he has no say. So he’s either a parent, or he isn’t. But he can’t be both.

Also him for wanting to punish her when his issue should be with you, not her. Only non AH is your kid, for asking for permission to sneak out. Super wholesome and signs you both are doing a great job!

Was it wrong for her to allow the sneaking out experience without her husband’s knowledge? Share your thoughts below!