AITAH for slapping my husband in the face?

A woman has grown frustrated with her husband’s habit of slapping her in private areas despite her clear discomfort and repeated requests for him to stop. This behavior continued even in front of their children, leading her to react by slapping him lightly after one incident in the shower.

In response, he punched her in the stomach and demanded a divorce, leaving her shocked and considering leaving with their kids. Read the original story below…

‘ AITAH for slapping my husband in the face?’

My (43m) husband thinks it’s funny to constantly slap me (43f) in the privates all day everyday. He sneaks up behind me and will stick his finger in my ass or slap my vagina. He does this in front of the kids. Once or twice is one thing but this is at least 10 times a day.

Tonight I was in the shower washing my face and he came in and slapped my privates. He knows I don’t like it. I’ve told him. I also have bad hemorrhoids after having the kids so when he sticks his finger there it hurts! He knows this. (Sorry for the tmi but I’m pissed).

After the shower tonight I slapped him in the face. Not hard but hard enough to sting. His reaction was to punch me in the stomach and tell me he wants a divorce for hurting him.

He’s never done that before and in my opinion wayyyy overreacted. After 11 years of marriage that was a first and he said I’m the AH. Meanwhile I’m ready to leave and take the kids tonight. I know his reaction was not okay but was I out of line?

Check out how the community responded:

SapphicSuccubus69 −  You should give him that divorce. For your own sake. NTA but your husband is ten thousand percent the a**hole. Leave that a**sive f**k.

PartyTangerinelolz −  Whaaaat?! Holy s**t. The way I would have punched my husband in the nuts if he everrrr slapped my vagina even once. And for him to punch you in the stomach?!? Are you okay??? None of his behavior is okay.

The fact that he ignores your request for him to stop, the way he clearly like causing you pain..WTF. And then for him to completely beyond overreact and have his feelings and precious ego hurt…and HE wants a divorce???? Girl, this is the one thing that he wants that you should gladly give him.

pigandpom −  What the f**k did I juat read. He’s been assaulting you for years and now he wants a divorce because you slapped his face for s**ually assaulting you yet again. Let him divorce you, and enjoy the rest of your life not being assaulted daily

Grim_Giggles −  He has been physically/s**ually assaulting you on many occasions and again tonight. Call the police and report the incident. You are going to be divorced whether you want to or not.

You are in a domestic violence situation and the children are going to be placed in the custody of the nonviolent parent. The first one that calls the police is usually believed more than the other. Call now!!!

Big_Zucchini_9800 −  NTA He’s been harassing you intentionally without your consent for years now, and he finally pushed you far enough to snap back, which he immediately escalated to full violence. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse, just waiting til he would be “allowed” to hit you.

If he’s like this with you, I would think he also wont care about your kids’ bodily autonomy, so divorce and sole custody might be the safest thing for your children.

RippleRufferz −  NTA Edit: didn’t catch the slap happened a bit later. I see how it’s not self defense. But it is definitely a trauma response after all of this.
sorry but that slap would be self defense at that point. Then to punch you in the stomach for you trying to defend yourself?

Horrifying. I’m glad to hear you’re getting your kids and you out of there.

Nedstarkclash −  Gather all important documents (SSN for you, kids / financial documents / account numbers). Do you have anywhere you can go? Family / friend?. Did you call the cops? Good luck – please keep us updated.

13surgeries −  You were not out of line. I have this weird feeling he’s been goading you all this time, hoping you’d react the way you did or worse.
He’s a cruel person. Who repeatedly slaps a woman on the vulva, FFS? Get out now.. NTA.

zoyter222 −  Let me make sure I understand what you’re saying. Your husband has a history of assaulting you both physically and s**ually. He has assaulted you s**ually penetrating your body, otherwise known as rape.

Of course you never called the authorities because you was afraid of him, and you feared even worse retaliation, possibly even towards your children. But when it began tonight, fearing yet another a**ault and rape, you tried to escape by striking him but wasn’t able to because he struck you so hard in the stomach that you were incapacitated.

Right, that about does it now call the police and tell them exactly what you just told me. And as an added bonus this gets you ahead of the mutual a**ault charge he’s going to try to file.

demaptchen −  NTA. Please also have a frank talk with your kids and get them into counseling if needed. Your kids have grown up in a home that normalizes s**ual a**ault. Boys will think that is acceptable behavior and they can do it to show affection. Girls will think that is ok for others to touch them inappropriately.

Was she justified in setting this boundary after his repeated behavior?